Saturday, September 30, 2006
A cat’s meow is a whole lot quieter than a dog’s bark.
A cat will clean up it’s own puke (or was that just mine?).
A cat’s farts don’t send you out of the room.
A cat won’t go into your dirty laundry basket and eat your panties.
It frustrates me that I can't think of a 5th one to complete my list.
Two days ago I saw something really cool. I was driving to go to my new house and I turned down this one street only to see two identical green colored cars, both performing illegal u-turns exactly at the same time and same speed, 2 blocks apart from each other. I thought I was on a set for a car commercial or something, but I looked around and didn’t see the film crew, so I guess it was just one of those things that make you go Hmmm.
Another note regarding traffic. I don’t know if I was daydreaming or if it was cuz I had to pee so badly (I should have just gone pee when I dropped Kim off). But here’s what happened. I was driving home and it’s about a 15 minute drive down one of the main drags here, 2 lane all the way. I started off in the right hand lane and halfway home, I was singing away to “Blister In The Sun”, by the Violent Femmes and all of a sudden I realized I was in the other lane. It made me say out loud: “When did I get into this lane?” (yeah, I talk to myself a lot… does that scare you?) and then another 3 minutes later, same thing happened, making me repeat my first statement with emphasis on the word this. Puzzled, I shook my head and wondered if I’d ran any red lights along the way too. Careful, Jules… you have to pay more attention!! I’m going to say that I was just distracted by the good tunes and leave it at that.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
As per his email:
Hello Friends with Blogs, I was wondering if I could trouble you for a little plug on your blogs. It only has to be up until Saturday and then you can delete that entry. CJSR is in the middle of their annual FunDrive. The radio show I co-host is on CJSR. Kamikaze Komedy (www.myspace.com/kkomedy). They raise almost 50% of their operating costs in these 9 days. Your blogs receive more hits than anything I do and the station could use your help. Here are some details:
Each and every donation is greatly appreciated. You receive free stuff for donating (SWAG) Donations of $60 or more will receive a tax receipt (you can write it off). The number to donate is 492-2577 (CJSR) ext. 7.
Independent radio is awesome! Thank you so much!
An Eternally Grateful, Lars Callieou
So donate, or don't... but whatever you do, don't ask me to publicize for you! This is a once in a lifetime thing. But you know what, Lars? I won't take it off... I'll just let it archive for you.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Anyway, cute, cute, cute and Awwwwwwwwwww! But now I think I deserve a break from Treehouse.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Here’s the whole story: I bought a pair of black jeans the a couple of weeks ago, and obviously I liked them enough to bring them home, but when I got them here, I noticed the silvery-white embroidery on the back pockets. I’m not talking like a little wave of design, either. It was the entire pocket full of swirls and wiggles, smack in the middle of each bum cheek. I don’t care what size or shape you are, if you’re a woman, drawing unnecessary attention to the cheeks isn’t always a good or comfortable thing. So I thought about this predicament. I like how the jeans feel, they’re comfortable enough and they look good with my new boots. But how do I solve this dilemma? Here’s how! I took out a medium tip permanent black ink marker and spent a few minutes coloring away the bright embroidery thread! I know!!! I’m a genius! BUT… then I put the jeans back on and I was slightly afraid that I would leave marker wherever I sat. I didn’t, thank God, but there was still a side effect to it all. I got high off my ass! Until the coloring fully dried, I could smell jiffy marker, heavily, wherever I went. I thought I was going to have to take them back off and throw them in the wash right away… but either I got used to the smell, or it dried and became unnoticeable. Come to think of it, I think that might be where my headache came from tonight. Coming off the marker high. That, or I didn’t get any caffeine today. Anyone out there got any jiffy marker or coloring your bum stories of your own??
Saturday, September 23, 2006
I gotta ask - how many times has that bugged you when you read my comments?!!!!! And... sorry! I'll try not to do it anymore. *sigh*
Today I was in the mall solely to buy some groceries and guess what ended up happening? Yup – you guessed it, I FINALLY bought a pair of sexy boots. Well, now, hey there. Before you all get too worked up, I’ve always wanted a pair of sexy dark brown of black leather knee high boots, but I can never seem to find a pair that fit me correctly, so today I was urged to try on the shorter ones (about 1/3 the height, but with 4 inch heels) that you wear with jeans for that slightly more fashionable, sexier look. Guess what? Here’s what I found out. Slightly pointy boots are indeed comfortable. It will, however, take me a while to get used to them regardless (they’re no crocs or flops!). And… it is impossible to NOT walk sexy in sexy boots. No seriously! The way the heel is, you have to step a certain way and it makes you swing your hips just that little bit extra. At least I hope it’s a little bit – I wouldn’t want to look like a cheap slut walking along! LOL So YAY for me. I own a pair of boots that are sexy. Still, I’m going to make it my eternal goal to get those knee high ones – there’s got to be a pair out there somewhere for me.
PP# 8 – For those of you who are confused about why I’m complaining about my P-P… I wrote a blog about Pet Peeves on July 16th. That’s how it ties in – I’m not talking about my bathroom habits. People who don’t respond when being spoken to. When you are being spoken to… LISTEN, for gosh golly’s sake! And where there is a response required… tear yourself away from whatever you are doing and give an appropriate response. Otherwise, what is the bleeping point of me talking to you?? (Not YOU, personally, I’m just blabbering here).
Here’s something fun that I’m really curious about… and hold onto your panties – it’s not having to do with anything “bi-curious” related. Sorry to disappoint. Here’s the task at hand, friends: Describe Jules in two words. Come on, lemme hear it… what two words would you use to describe me? You wanna know why I wanna know, punk? Ummm, how about just because I think it will be fun.
Guess that’s all for tonight for me. I have to go blogging and commenting so that everyone knows I love them.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
June 21 - July 21
A conflict between career obligations and responsibilities in the home could present itself today, dear Cancer. You're likely to feel totally powerless in the situation, so it could cause you to feel irritable and to be more snappish than you usually are. Try to think clearly and find a solution for your conundrum, then act on it. Avoid the temptation to quarrel with others. In the evening: Go out dancing! Work off some of that frustrated energy!
'Cept, I didn't go dancing. I went out, but not dancing. Wait... was there dancing involved? Maybe a little bit, on my sister's part when "The Office" was about to start. Great premier!
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
As much crap as there is to deal with on a daily basis, life has found a way to become better. I’d almost even say outstanding, despite the stressors that keep finding their way to wiggle in. These are the things that I think have pulled me through:
- My family – having a loving husband and a child who sends me over the moon almost every minute of every day, and all of my Red Deer family who never refuse a moment to hang out with me
- My best friend who is always there for me and who is one of the few people who completely gets me, who understands who I am
- Meeting new people and “clicking” with them as if we’ve been friends for a long time
- Taking time to write in my blogs is healing, whether I get comments or not, it lets me lighten up my day
- Getting moments like today to read blogs like Grunty’s – to find out that everyone’s human and everyone’s worth more than they know to someone else
So thank you to everyone, for… well, everything! Jules :O)
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
June 21 - July 21
Some unusual dreams may come to you tonight, dear Cancer, and you might awaken with the idea that they're very important. The images should be very clear, however, and you probably won't have much trouble working out what they mean. Intellect joins with intuition today in a rush of insightfulness. Make the most of this advantage now, and then decide how best to act on your revelations.
Monday, September 18, 2006
· Why is it that when a cat rubs up against your leg, you inevitably get static cling pants. And more importantly, what is that smell that comes out of my cat’s bum when he’s overly excited?!!!
· Why is it that in the Fall +5C seems soooo cold, but in the spring that exact same temperature seems so warm?
· Why is it that pickles are called pickles and not pickled cucumbers when everything else is called pickled __(blah)___? Pickled beets, pickled carrots, pickled eggs, pickled herring… etc.
· Why is it that the one day out of the year that you accidentally put your shirt on backwards, you don’t notice you’ve made the mistake until you’ve been out on the town all day, wondering why people are looking at you slightly strange. It’s the tag sticking out the top that gives it away. Beware of the tag.
· Why is it that when you are finally able to cross one thing off your to do list, another 3 things magically appear?
· Why is it that you get toe lint from wearing socks, especially black ones, but you don’t get finger lint from wearing gloves?
And then, I drained the tub, still laying on my back. Have you ever just laid on your back while all the water drained out from beneath you? It’s a weird sensation. It feels like the water is pulling you down, and if you close your eyes, the weight of the water almost seems to swirl you down the drain along with it.
As I type this, I realize that it could just be all the stress making my mind play some seriously wacky tricks on me… but I think next time you have a bath, you should try it and let me know.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Now, since I'm on the topic of watching movies - I feel the need to cleanse myself and admit that I watched "The Dukes of Hazzard" recently also (I'm really embarrassed to admit to this). You know, the new one with Jessica Simpson and the two hottie guys whom I can't think of their names. But here's the deal, peeps. My sole reason for watching it was to see if they costumed Bo the same way he appeared back in the tv show. And I wasn't ever going to watch it because of my extreme hatred for Simpson (although I have to say it didn't kill me to look at her periodically either). See, I ran across this blog entry a while ago that was all about Bo's "dick lips" and I, being the avid crotch watcher that I've admitted to being, became inspired to see for myself. I still have to rent the original series and see, but for now, I'm oddly saddened by the fact that I couldn’t laugh and point at it in this version.
There. Now I feel better.
Friday, September 15, 2006
My life as a genre of movie is: Cult Classic
I am Coca Cola
My pimp name is: Brown Sugah Love
My Funky Inner Hair Color is pink
My gay cartoon character equivalent is Peppermint Patti
I am an Expert Kisser
What my underwear says about me: When I'm bad, I'm very bad. And when I'm good, I'm still trouble! I'm comfortable in my own skin - and don't care to impress anyone
My boobie’s names are: Betty and Veronica
I am a Yellow Flower: A yellow flower tends to represent joy, friendship, and playfulness. At times, I am childlike, as a buttercup is. And at other times, I am fickle, like a dahlia. And more than I wish, I tend to feel bittersweet, like a marigold
My Super Hero Name is: The Android Soarer, My Superpower is Dance Dance Revolution, My Weakness is Men, My Weapon is My Toxic Darts, My Mode of Transportation is Space Shuttle
In a past life I was: A Gentle Belly Dancer, who lived in Alaska and died from the plague
My sleeping position says: I am calm and rational. I am also giving and kind - a great friend. I am easy going and trusting. However, I am too sensible to fall for mind games
My Inner Age is: 23
My Theme Song is: Back In Black by AC/DC
And that, my friends was my trip to blogthings.com. Careful, it’s addictive if you go there. It's a serious waste of time, or time killer (depending on whether you're a pessimist or optimist)... but it’s also kind of fun - in a juvenille way.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
A meeting was held quite far from Earth
It was time again for another birth
Said the Angels to the Lord above -
This special child will need much love,
Her progress may be very slow
Accomplishment she may not show.
And she'll require extra care,
From the folks she meets down there.
She may not run or laugh or play,
Her thoughts may seem very far away.
So many times she will be labeled
"different", "helpless" and "disabled".
So let's be careful where she is sent,
We want her life to be content.
Please, Lord, find the parents who
Will do a special job for you.
They will not realize right away
The leading role they have to play.
But with this child sent from above,
Comes stronger faith and richer love.
In caring for their gift from Heaven,
Their precious charge, so meek and mild
Is Heaven's Very Special Child.
March 13, 1991 - September 11, 2006
Sabrina - thank you for being my teacher. At 15 years old, you knew more about selfless love and understanding than I'll probably ever know. I'll miss our cuddles and our battles, I'll miss your smiles and laughter, your glow and your way to touch everyone in your life.
Go Here and take a moment to ponder your dash. http://www.thedashmovie.com/
Love "Miss Julie"
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Woah.... maybe I do have a foot fetish.
I have this same train of thought with almost all snack items.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
- I shower at night. Here’s why – you are out and about all day collecting dirt and yucky stuff from your atmosphere and then you climb into bed with it. Mmmmm, I imagine that gives the dust mites a hefty meal each night.
- I’m ready to add some highlights to my hair again, but I’m debating that whole going to the hairdresser thing (I think I’m still a little bit phobic of them). She’ll probably do a hell of a better job than I will… and people will probably comment on how nice it looks.
- As you probably already figured out by now, I'm a crotch looker. I can't help it - you men don't make it easy to NOT focus on your bulges. Stop it... just stop the touching madness and I'll be able to go to crotch looker's anonymous.
- I have a love affair with my feet. I wear size 7 shoes (give or take depending on style) and I like to keep my toenails polished and my toes all pimped out. Feet should try to stay good looking – they are the single most overused body part anyone has and I think they deserve some special attention every once in a while.
- I am afraid of spiders – well, just wigged out by them, really. I can look at a spider that’s sitting still, but as soon as it starts to move and come in for the kill I’m done. It’s just that there are so many different species and somehow in the back of my brain I just keep thinking that they are all out to get me with their 8 freaky legs, poison producing… shiver I have to move on, I feel like there are 12 of them crawling down my neck as we speak.
- I have a silk plant fetish. I think it stems from having 3 cats that always ate my real ones. Stumps aren’t so pretty to look at. I even had a cat who ate a cactus garden I tried to keep. Yeah, I think you’d give up too.
- I have a bright red freckle on my arm. It developed last summer and it has completed the basin for the star constellation the big dipper. Now I’m just waiting for the handle to appear and I’ll be all set.
- I read my horoscope daily. Do I believe in what it says? Only about 30% of the time. My sign is Cancer and I am typically an accepting and understanding person who will take just about anyone under my wing.
- My favorite food is fried rice. I could eat rice anywhere. On a boat or in a moat. I could eat it on a plate; I could eat it when I skate. Yes I could eat rice anywhere. Hmmm, think I have a future writing children’s books?
- There’s something about ______ that really turns me on. (You fill in the blank, I’m curious to know what the first thing that popped into your head was now that you know a few more things about me).
Monday, September 11, 2006
Sunday, September 10, 2006
- Mel Gibson is a Yummie. He’s the kind of hottie that you think is great to look at now – in fact he just keeps getting better with age, and then when you are treated to a showing of Lethal Weapon, you see his younger self and just know tonight’s dreams will be good ones. Who's your favorite Hottie Mc Hot Pants?? I don't know if Mel is my favorite, but...
- Homemade wine packs more of a punch than the stuff you can buy in the store. I know this because any time I start drinking either my dad’s or my mom’s wine, somehow the night ends with me wanting to flash everyone. Of course, most of the time I can contain myself and hold onto my dignity. At least I didn’t get so drunk that I threw up in my hair and peed the bed! And that should last me for at least another year.
- It’s almost impossible for me to make mowing my lawn a priority these days. It’s been two weeks now and I just know the neighbors grass is shouting comments to my grass like: “Get a haircut, you hippie!” If I don’t do something pretty soon, my blades will be totally ousted. And I just don’t know how to go about getting counseling for my lawn to make it feel good about itself again.
- My oldest cat ran away again, this time probably for good, he ran away on Friday. He hasn’t come back yet and I’m starting to think he won’t be back for a while. Time to Bach’ It, eat some flies and catch a bird or two.
- They are going to release the video of Steve Irwin’s fatal encounter with the sting ray. I wonder how many people will watch this. Will you be one of them? Will it be widely advertised so that we will know when it’s on? I think I’ll watch it… if nothing more than out of morbid curiosity.
- Captain Janeway got the role because of her strange raspy almost male-ish sounding voice. It’s kind of freaky, actually if you just sit and play lines from Star Trek through your head and pay attention. That’s just a conclusion I came to and I don’t wanna hear any if’s, and’s or but’s about it.
- What is it with men who constantly grab/touch/adjust their crotch? I can understand a simple adjustment from time to time, sure that’s okay. But I know some guys who can’t leave their dick alone to save their lives. I’m curious. Is it just because they are constantly uncomfortable? Is it because they are itchy? Is it because they have saggy sack and they need to adjust frequently so they don’t sit on it? OR is it because they know people like me are watching and they want to make sure I have good dreams? Help me out here. I need to know.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
My GOD! Who would go on that gameshow?? And I would SOOO look up!
Break me down
You got a lovely face
We're going to your place
And now you got to freak me out
Scream so loud
Getting fucking laid
You want me to stay
But I got to make my way
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good I'm on top of it
When I dream
I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on
Take it all
The paper is your game
You jump in bed with fame
Another one night payed in full
You're so fine
It won't be a loss
Cashing in the rocks
Just to get you face to face
Get the video
Fuck you so good
Get the video
Fuck you so good
You're a crazy bitch
But you fuck so good I'm on top of it
When I dream
I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back
You want it all
To be a star you'll have to go down
Take it off
No need to talk
You're crazy but I like the way you fuck me!
You keep me right on
You're crazy but I like the way you fuck me!
All I have to say is: Seriously? I heard it a few nights ago and I have to say What The??! They can get away with playing this on the radio? It won't hurt my feelings if I never hear it again, sorry to those out there who enjoy the song... but this one's not for me.
Monday, September 04, 2006
You can read more about Steve and his encounter with the sting ray that stole his life here:
I will miss seeing your smiley face, Steve.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
I think the answer depends on whether you are a romantic at heart – even just the slightest bit. Some people just swear that it’s their own decisions, how they handle situations, that tell what will happen next. Their lives are based on the outcomes of past events, and it’s strictly those outcomes that illustrate their future. Others choose to recognize that little bit of magic in the air and when something happens, either good or bad, they chalk it up to karma or fate. Me? I tend to be the latter. I like a little bit of “mystical” in my life. I know that I can make things happen just by my reaction to them, but I like to think that destiny has a little somethin’ somethin’ in store for me too.
So here's what I want to blog about today. Word Verification bugs the heck out of me. I know I don't have to have this feature turned on, but I don't want just any crazy loon posting comments on my blog. Or do I? Maybe that would be fun! :O) But here's the part that bugs me about it: the fact that the verification is so messed up! The letters are all slanty and squished together, sometimes they're huge and other times they are small and seem connected to one another so that you can't easily tell what they are supposed to be. For example, when placed together, a 'c' and an 'l' can sometimes look like a d. And there have been other letter combinations that have left me a little perplexed also. In fact, and I say this at the risk of making myself look really mental, I have been rejected 3 times now by blogger because I misread the stupid word verification thing. UGH!
Now that that's off my chest, let's see if there's anything else to blog about. We worked out in the yard this morning until 12:30, delving into the daunting task of one of the few remaining "to do" list items before we sell the house. There's a space in the back yard that was always intended to be developed into a brick patio where we'd imagined having lovely BBQ's and family gatherings out on the patio in the summer time, and a rocking swing bench to relax and sun tan on, and a few planter boxes with topiary boxwoods in them... wait a minute - it sounds sooo nice, but how come it just ended up growing into a pile of weeds over the last 4 years and never came to fruition? Was it out of laziness? Or finances? Or laziness? Right! So today it was sweating, er – em – I mean ‘glowing’ – in the sun until I shed 5 pounds of water retention and was covered in dirt from head to toe (I’m such a dirty girl, LOL) and all the weeds were gone and now what’s left is a big rectangular patch of dirt, still without a patio set, plants, or any kind of welcoming atmosphere. But we’re selling, so what the hey?! The plan has shifted to make it look decent enough to attract potential buyers and then let them finish it off once they move in. I’ll finish the back yard in the new place instead.
Yesterday our oldest cat, who was rescued pet from the SPCA, ran away and although it didn’t matter much to me in the beginning, as the evening and night progressed, it began to worry me that he would start to remember the life he once lived and long to become a stray again. By 1:30am I thought I heard his meows at the bedroom window, so half naked, I stumbled downstairs, eyes not working properly, to the front door to check and see if he was there – when the black cat decided to make a run for it and join his brother. I swore, in fact, I think I used Grunt’s “Ahhhfak” swear word (did I get that right?), and closed the door to clamber back up to bed. At 3:30 a major cat fight woke me up and the black cat, Manchester, came screaming back into the house. But no Shakespeare yet. He finally came back at 5:30am. The little bugger was gone for something like 20 hours! So here’s the dilemma. Do I continue to let them out to patrol the neighborhood, knowing that they have always come back eventually? Or do I make it my life’s mission to duck out the open doors in time to slam it in their faces so they can’t get back out and cause me more angst? Here’s the dumbest part of this whole scenario: I’m actually wasting precious moments of my day debating the freedom of my cats.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Friday, September 01, 2006
That's all I came up with. Now, the question is, was I in the bathroom for an eternity, or am I just a fast thinker. I'll leave that up to you to ponder. HEY! If you have any more uses for toilet paper rolls, leave a comment!