Friday, January 26, 2007

really?!

Well now I think I've seen it all. I was walking through WalMart one day last week and do you know what I saw? For pete's sake - I spotted, out of the corner of my eye BUM PANTIES! I literally did a triple take and then it stopped me dead in my tracks as I bared witness to a rack full of bums hanging out at me. As the words "What the..." escaped my lips, I leaned in for a closer look and realized they were literally panties with built in bums and a fake bum crack built in for realism. Further investigation of the diagram on the tag revealed that they will enhance the curvature of your booty quite a bit! Make you look like you have J-Lo bum. Can you imagine?!?! You meet a guy, he's all touching your ass all night at the bar, all up in yo junk and wants you to go home with him. You do and as you go to perform your stip tease, you realize that you have your FAKE ASS ON!!! Ohhhhh, baby. Nice fake ass.....

WTF?! I've got some extra ass that I could shave off and give to someone really in need. Maybe I'll start up a clinic for booty injections. Would doing something like that be considered a "pay it forward" kind of thing? Bhwah!

Jules :Odumbfounded

9 comments:

vera said...

The fact that this story starts off with "I was walking through WalMart one day..." opens it up to a wide range of insane things...
Hence another reason not to shop @ The Wasteland that is North America...

BTW, nice ass...

/Vera

Random Thinker said...

Thank god for WalMart!

I am more of a Target man myself. At least until I see BUM PANTIES there!

Alicia said...

Haha, that's because most Walmart clientele (here anyways) use the fake ass underwear to get laid and pregnant, so in turn they get bigger welfare checks from our government, which benefits Walmart because they can now spend more money there... It's a vicious circle. Walmart knows what they're doing. I'm all about conspiracy theories...

Always on the Move said...

If I had no ass, maybe I would buy a pair, but my ass is already toooo big. LOL! That made me gag. I can't believe that. That's actually really sick. Do you think people will really buy them? And do you think they'll make the bums look like people are wearing thongs as well? I sure hope not!
GAG!

julie said...

I don't need any help in that department. Any panties are Bum Panties on me. :)

Natalie said...

That is the most special thing I have ever heard.

Jules said...

Vera - yeah, it's unfortunate... but WM is one of my almost daily ventures.

RT - perhaps it will catch on and Target will pick em up. But if I ever see you in a pair of them... !!

Alicia - because I frequent WM, I will ignore the reference to welfare... although I still thought your comment was funny and somewhat with merit.

Kim - whatever sis. Next time we go, I'm making you try on a pair! LOL!

Jules - I'm sure I've got you beat.

Natalie - I do what I can to bring specialness to everyone's days!

Aprill said...

That is hilarious. I love this blog!

What I would like to know is why they have started making the department store mannequins equipped with hard nipples. I almost fell over when I saw them for the first time. "What the..." indeed.

Jules said...

Aprill - Welcome (here's your ((HUG)) for coming out of the closet)! Two things - I love your avatar. I had that flower in my old yard and loved photographing it. And two - yeah, what's with the nipple thing?? One time I went walking in The Bay with Kim and we noticed that someone pantsed all the male mannequins! Wouldn't that be something if THOSE had big hard things on them? ;oP