Friday, March 30, 2007

laugh attacks

We rented a movie called Eragon tonight and my sister came over and I don't know if it was something in the air or what, but between her, me and my hubby, we literally cracked up throughout the whole movie! LOL! Seriously, I haven't laughed that hard during the course of a movie in a long time. My cheekbones hurt... and I have a little pee spot on my panties (I reserve the right to NOT be called Miss Pissypants, thanks). For shame, for shame. And I'm pretty certain it's not supposed to be a comedy, that movie!

But the funniest thing happened after the movie. Between Sis and I trying to make semi-automatic gunshot sound effects and the program that came on tv, we were laughing so much we woke my babe up! Women can't make sound effects. We just can't. Anything gun, grenade or explosion related in any way, we just cannot do. It's a fact of life. Get over it!

Okay, so then we turned on the tv, and I flipped it to Extreme homes on HGTV just as a time filler while we were hanging out. There was this really cool tree house thing on it and it captured all of our attention. We laughed and joked about living in a tree house, getting drunk in a tree house, etc. But here's the clincher to tonight's laugh attacks. A second home came on and they introduced the homeowner by first name only, and his girlfriend. And then as they were showing the house, the guy's full name came on. His last name was: Hiscock.

You read that right!!! HISCOCK! How could ANYONE in life take you seriously with THAT last name?! And how did the very first Hiscock come to get that name?! Imagine, the baby was born with a giant cock and the parents and person delivering the baby all exclaimed: "Oh my, look at HIS COCK!!!!!" and forever more, the name was passed down from generation to generation!?! What nationality is Hiscock anyway?

I mean seriously. That was an effing hilarious night, guys!


tongue twister

I studied my tongue before bed last night. Have you ever just set up camp in front of the mirror and stared at your tongue?

I'd like to say that upon first glance, the tongue is a very pretty organ. But I'd be lying through my teeth if I said that!!! I mean, I looked up close and personal. I took my fingernail and scraped it across the surface of my tongue and spread apart my tastebuds (well, I mean, they didn't spread far... maybe slightly seperated is the better wording). Mine appear lighter pink on the surface but then if you move them around, you can see the darker fuscia-like color they go to. I decided that I like the darker color better and it made me wish my whole tongue was that color. It made me want to become an addict of red colored candies that would stain my tongue permanently ruby red.

Then I looked underneath my tongue and played with that stringy tissue part that keeps it connected... you know that part... it's all creepy looking and surrounded by veins. I wondered if I could stretch it. So then I practiced tongue exercises until I could feel the lactic acid build up in my tongue.

I can curl my tongue into that horseshoe shape. And I can tie a knot in a cherry stem with it too. My tongue gets all frozen and I talk funny when I drink a caramel frappuccino from Starbucks. Or eat ice cubes. Or drink a slurpie.

Jules :OP

Thursday, March 29, 2007


I have two spaces left in my blogger buddies picture compilation that I'd like to fill up still. If you wanna be in there, and you're a regular commentor on here, send me your headshot!! And Jules, I'd like a better picture of you...

Any takers?!

Jules :Ocomeonpeoplenowsmileonyourbrothereverybodygettogethertryto

Hmm, it would appear I'm feeling sort of "hippie-like" tonight.

Mother Nature

It was windy today. With the wind, I got an earache, but I was able to put that aside and focus on the more important things that were occuring! What were those things, you ask?

Dancing Leaves.

The leaves performed a beautiful ballet for all who chose to take notice today! It was gorgeous to watch them. Gusts of wind would lift them and spin them and float them down the street. Always in large groups, never alone. Dancing, twirling, spinning, floating... it was stunning, really. The dancing leaves. Playing together in some fantasy world where every one of them was equal and had just as much importance in the play as all of the others. Then I opened the car window and could hear their symphony too. And smell their musty perfume. And I closed my eyes and just listened to their beauty.

Ahhhhhhh. Perfect.

Jules :Oj

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Just something to tell you

My pee was fluorsecent green this afternoon. I almost took a picture.

Jules :Oe

The concert review

The concert was great! But the company was even better!!!

Got to Edmonton early, because we wanted to be at the Shaw Conference Center early due to it being rush seating and not assigned seating. So that was our big goal... get there at 6pm and have some time to eat and bum around. Arrived into Edmonton at 4:45, too early to go to the parkade, so we thought we'd take in IKEA, snap a few crazy pictures of us in the fake IKEA rooms, doing silly things (because we're so mature when we get together, Kim and I). It was fun and we laughed lots, but then as we were leaving I reached for my keys and I'm sure it must have looked like someone just hit me with a giant 4x4, or that I'd just seen someone tear their own limb off or something... the look of sheer horror as I stopped in my tracks and said "Kim, where are my keys?!?!" We dashed out to the car and there they were, hanging in full glory in the ignition. SHIT! SHITTTT!!! SHIIIIIT! I felt sooooooo bad. AMA couldn't get there till 7pm to unlock the door, so I had to drive fast to get to the conference centre in time to TRY to still get a decent seat. Well, we ended up getting almost all green lights, found a parking spot, and were inside by 7:20! And, because we're one of the few brilliant people, we took the stairs that had no line up at all and got right in, bypassing thousands of people, and ended up getting great seats! YAY!

The opening act I didn't really enjoy all that much (Jon Levine), but he was entertaining to watch play the piano. Then Saukrates came on and did his hip hop thing and I swear, I just about had a few O's because the music was so loud and thumping and it made my seat vibrate and I could feel it from my head to my toes!!! That was enough to make it worthwhile to go for me, right there! ;O) Then Nelly came on and she was wearing this horrendous black half M.C. Hammer pant/half spandex body suit. It made her look HUGE!! I didn't like any of her outfits, but no, Grunty, she didn't get naked at all! (Is it odd for me to say I was slightly disappointed?). LOL! She sang about 6 songs I recognized, not having her newest album(s) and that was enough to make the concert enjoyable... although the music was SOOOO loud that even me shouting into Kim's ear, she couldn't hear me!!! I loved watching her dancers. Very entertaining!

We took our time leaving and then I realized that I was going to have to navigate OUT of Edmonton at night time... without a map! HA! It totally felt like we were a team on the Amazing Race. I'll admit, after a series of twists and turns that had me all mixed up with no idea where I was, I had to stop and ask directions from a cab driver! (We girls can do that, you know... men, take notice!!) So eventually, we managed to make our way out of the city in one piece and got home around 1am. Awesome day/night! Thanks bestest friend!!! Thanks for roping me into buying the ticket last summer (or fall?)!! It was totally worth it!

Jules :ObutnowI'msotired!

Monday, March 26, 2007

cat'cha later!

Goin' to see Nelly Furtado tonight in Edmonton!!! It's gonna kick ass!

Jules :OD

Sunday, March 25, 2007

how do your fingers fall asleep?

I have a retarded finger. It's the index finger on my left hand.

When I go to sleep at night, I spoon on my left side, putting my right arm under my hubby's pillow and my fingers end up very close to the headboard, slightly curved for the most part. This is very comfortable for me, and I find my arm doesn't fall asleep this way, like it would if i tried to tuck it in close to my body or something.

So I slowly, very slowly, drift off to sleep and as I am, my index finger straightens out and springs toward the headboard like it's on an overdose of M&M's and kidney beans and WHACK! It hits the headboard. A split second of jerkiness. It's like it can't get to sleep without that rush of excitement... that skull cracking ping that happens when headboard and finger collide. I've tried to control this by moving the hand further away, or even by tucking the fingers down between the headboard and matress, but nothing works!!! And once you're used to falling asleep on a certain side, it's hard to change that. It wouldn't be so bad if my ADHD finger just had to party once. But it likes to pop several times before snuggling under hubby's pillow. Stupid finger.

Any suggestions?

Jules :Ogrrrrrr!

Friday, March 23, 2007

be on the lookout

Newly Discovered Twinsie:

Grunty and I are "Stealth Twinsies"!! Named twinsies for often appearing to be offline (when sometimes we really ARE there!) You can see us parading around in our pink spandex body suits with our black capes and red masks. I tend to leave my hair down so it can blow in the wind, while Grunty tends to put his up in little pigtails. We go around town fighting those who think they're being ...

Oh who am I kidding. We just like to dress up and hang out at the local ice cream shop.

Jules :OI'msomuchfun!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

to you... and you and you...

Goodnight, sweethearts! And good morning too!

Love Jules :Oyawn!


I like my horoscope today:

June 21 - July 21
A temporary separation from someone very close to you can have you reflecting on the good times you've spent with that person, especially over the past few weeks. At some point you're likely to talk with him or her over the phone. You're feeling a lot of warmth and affection toward everyone around you - but a little sad as well, particularly when you think of those who live far away. Call them up, dear Cancer! They'll be glad to hear from you.

Jules :Oj

just out of curiosity, I suppose!

I did something. It's kind of cute.. a little but funny... somewhat odd. And I really like it. I like it enough to get it printed and frame it. Well, that might be going a bit far, but really, I like it!

So, I've gone and superimposed the heads of those of you who have sent me photos of yourselves (Billy, Baby Boy, SSD, Grunty, Jules, Kim and Random Thinker) onto the picture I found on of a group of 11 men/women standing in a circle waving towards what is presumably the camera. Then I incorporated my own head. I'm not going to post it, ever, because of that annonymity thing some of you have... it's just for moi!

Okay, so after I get finished with the last 2 faces I have to add in (but already have), I will still have room for 3 more, according to the picture. Anyone want to send me a head shot? First come, first serve. Just think of what a cute group of people we make!!

Jules brightideas:O)

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

just annoying, that's all... I'm not really complaining.

S'cuse me.

No, I didn't fart. Well, I did... earlier. But thankfully it didn't stick around long.

I'm a little bit miffed. And I don't know how to spell miffed. It looks wrong. I tried to take my son to the Toddler Play Group at Michener Centre today (it's called the CHIPS program and it's a gym with a million toddlers running around trying to steal toys away from eachother, running, screaming, laughing, crying, interacting... it's tons of fun!). I used to take him when he was just a baby and my nephew was a year old. But I haven't been in ages. Today, I decided it was time to start going again, now that he's more interactive and mobile. Without a sibling here for him, I feel like it's important to expose him to other kids for playtimes, etc. So I go and guess what!? The program was moved! Not moved to another room within that building. Not moved to another building near there. Not moved to a building even in RED DEER!!! They took the playgroup and moved it out to Springbrook! I'm miffed!!! Who's gonna pack up their kid anddrive all the way on the highway out there just for an hour at playgroup?

Okay, it isn't far, but by the time we'd ever be able to make it out there, he'd only get a half an hour to play anyway.

Miffed. Myfed. No, that's my-fed. Miphed? Nope. Ummm... is miffed in the dictionary? Somehow saying miffed that many times reminded me of my fart earlier. It sort of made that sound.... mifffffffffffffff..ed! Whatever. I know I made you chuckle.

Jules :Oallsortsoffaces!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

are you my twin?

I have to just take a moment and mention this too. I knwo I've been posting short blogs lately, but since "the loooong one from a few days ago" I feel I can get away with this nicely.

Anyway, what I wanted to take the time to say is this:
I am Coca-Cola twins with Kim, twins seperated at birth with Jules, devilish inner sex toy addict twins with Alicia, raw potato eating twins with Billy, hairdresser phobic twins with SSD, georgaphy brainfart twins with a variety of people, and itchy nipple twins with Steve.

I'm sure there are more twinsies experiences that I've come to know about all of you and myself, but like Billy, who is also my can't remember yesterday twinsie, I've forgotten.

So far, noone has shared my intense love of their own feet, or my keychain fetish, or my creaky knees... but maybe I haven't mentioned my creaky knees before.

Jules :O!

Want some 'Za?

Are you ready for this? Here's the big question of the day!!!

Pizza. Are you more likely to eat leftover pizza cold or hot?

I'm eating a piece of pizza right now. Guess which way I like it!

Jules :Oyummy!

Monday, March 19, 2007


Did you ever laugh so hard at something that food came flying out of your nose?

Ehem... yeah, me neither.

Jules :Owhat?

Bet'cha didn't know that!

I was meme'd by Silly Billy - I'm supposed to write 5 things people don't know about me. Billy, do you know how HARD this is going to be?!?! Everyone knows everything about me! I'm an open book! But I'm going to try to come up with some, in the spirit of it all, just for you, sweetheart!
  1. I would rather email than talk on the phone. Is this because I'm an incoherant goof when speaking person to person? No... well, maybe not. I think more likely it's because I can be free to say whatever I want in type and whoever receives it can just skip over it if they aren't interested. Whereas, if I'm speaking to them, they can't just skip over it, unless they have the universal remote the movie Click, and then they could. The other reason is that I tend to go off on tangents like that whole remote control thing, which has nothing to do with my initial statement, and it confuses people.
  2. Lately I've been having to put an extra blanket on my bed at night. I have this need to the feeling of deep pressure when I'm sleeping for some reason. So I've found the heaviest comforter that we own and I drape it on top of my side of the bed just before I go to sleep. Incidentally, this morning I woke up with it up around my face and I was dreaming about sucking my thumb. No worries, when I woke up, my thumb wasn't wet.
  3. I suck at cliche's. Take this one, for example: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn. Do you have ANY idea how long it took me to actually get that one right? Like, the last 5 days. And I'm not joking. I did an entry on cliches a while ago but I'm too lazy to go back and look for it.
  4. Geography and me don't mix. I don't think it's because I don't care about it... because I do care. For example, I like to look up where the people I meet live. I think it's just that I can't seem to commit anything to memory and trying to remember geography is the last thing on my mind when I'm trying to focus on more important things like when the last time I plucked my eyebrows was.
  5. 4 Years ago, I almost started up a landscaping business with that same friend I blogged about in horror a few posts ago. Holy hell am I glad I didn't do THAT!!!!

There you go! Now, I'm not going to meme people, but I will invite you to join up and do this on your blog if you are interested in it.

Jules :Oj

Saturday, March 17, 2007

oh for eff's sake!

Why in the HELL are my nipples itchy. My nipples are never itchy. But this morning I woke up with itchy nipples. I even had to take extra time in the shower to scratch them with the sponge thingy. Is it a further reaction from the stupid Proactive skin care crap!??! Isn't skin supposed to be less itchy in the spring and summer? And itchier in the winter? I feel like I'm going backwards.

I'm going to go put lotion on them right now incase it's because they are dry. I don't think that's the problem though. Frig.

Jules :O(--8

Green Beer Day!

Friday, March 16, 2007

tell you you disagree, I dare you!

Okay, I realize that most of you probably aren't familiar with this cartoon, but because my son loves to watch Treehouse on a regular basis, I have gotten to know some of them very well. The topic of this entry has been on my mind for quite some time now.

There's this cartoon, Toopy and Binoo. Toopy is a mouse with an overactive imagination and Binoo is his stuffed animal cat who is alive and is Toopy's best friend and play mate. It's really a good cartoon for teaching imagination and fun. But not one that's really full of morals or teachable moments. Still, cute enough to watch on a regular basis.

Cute until I noticed one day, that Toopy's tail doesn't look anything like a mouse's tail should. In fact, to me, it looks A LOT like some sort of butt plug! In my eyes, the creators of this cartoon went horribly wrong somewhere along the line and inserted a sex toy into the concept of Toopy. Go ahead, take a look. It's there. 3 Pinkish balls sticking out of his ass, in varying sizes. It's a butt plug, and anyone who tells me otherwise is either blind or lying. HA!
Jules ;OP

Thursday, March 15, 2007

so delicious!

I just HAD to share with you all that tonight, my neighborhood smelled AWESOME! On my weekly journey over to my sisters house on Thursday nights, I typically just take the back alley and am at her place within less than a minute. But because of spring and snow melting, the back alley is a mud pit (which could be fun given the right circumstances, but not tonight). So I walked around the Close and down her street. I turned the corner in my close and saw it and the second I did, I eagerly anticipated the smell. But I took several steps and no smell wafted my way. Several more steps, and still nothing. I inhaled deeply, thinking maybe I'm just getting a cold or something and my sniffer's impaired. But still nothing! Just as I was about to give up, it hit me like a brick in the face! BAR--B--Q!!!!!!!!

I don't know for sure, but I think that this might be one characteristic that the entire human population shares. We all love... no... L-O-V-E the smell of barbeque!! Am I wrong here? I literally stopped dead in my tracks and started to wonder why someone was eating supper at 8:45 at night, but the thought drifted from my mind just as quickly as it entered when I inhaled again.... and again... and again. Finally, something snapped me back to reality and I figured anyone who might be watching me sniff the air would think I was some crazy person and call the cops, so I toddled off. I was able to smell it halfway to my sister's house. Yum--my!!!

Then on the way home, no smell of BBQ, but I distinctly caught the clean and light scent of laundry being done. Like as if several houses were all drying their clothes and the dryer vents were all dispersing the lovely fresh fragrance of clean. It was pretty. The smell of the air was pretty. Not stop-dead-in-my-tracks pretty... but I did take an extra long sniff or two.

Jules :8aaahhhh!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007


My eyes are itchy. It's not because of the illeged allergies, either.

It's because when I get visitors like Hilda, I tend to use the face system from Proactive (it's a blemish clearer thing that really does work well). It works well, but I had to stop using it in my past because I found that my face was getting really itchy. Not just itchy... R-E-A-L-L-Y itchy. Like I'm talking scratch until you bleed kind of itchy (except that I am able to exhibit some form of self control so it doesn't get to that point). So Over the past 3 days I've been using it all over my face and yesterday I noticed that all around my eyes I'm itchy again. Yet, I don't want to stop using the product until it kicks Hilda to the curb. So this morning, I just put it on my chin and used regular moisturizer on the rest of my face. My eyes aren't AS itchy, but still a little bit.

Anyway... Hilda is backing down now and she'll be gone soon, so I won't have many more days of itchy left.

Jules :Oj

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

fucking explained

Wow... a tear forms in my right eye.. I didn't know so many people card about me! ;OP

Okay. I'm gonna fess up. The last entry? You know, the fuck fuck fuck, one? I really didn't have a single solitary purpose for writing it other than to see what everyone would comment. Yeah. I'm cool.

See, somehow that seemed funny inside my little head. Funny enough that I carried through with it. It was somewhat of an afterthought, just before I was about to log off, as if some foreign spirit invaded my body, and then I blinked and there it was. The Fuck entry. The. Fuck. Entry.

But here are some things that could be associated with The Fuck Entry as of late. A new pimple which has taken up residence on my chin. She's going to stay a while, and she has a lot to say, so I've decided to name her Hilda and introduce her to the rest of the family. She's Ursula's cousin, who appeared for a surprise visit on Kim's face a few weeks ago and stayed past her welcome. I hope Hilda's not here for a family reunion, although she might be because it seems her relatives are making an appearance on my mom's and sister's faces too. Bahahahahaha!!! If I have to suffer so do you all! Also, I typed out a really long heartfelt email and lost all of it. That was a Fuck moment. Also, my terracotta pot that held an ivy came crashing down to the floor and shattered. Definately a F-U-C-K moment. I didn't win on a scratch and win ticket. fUcK. I took a deep breath of what was supposed to be fresh air yesterday and it smelled like cow shit. FuCk (or more specifically, fucking Alberta beef... which isn't to say that I fucked a cow, or that you should. But that their shit stinks and it ruined my fresh breath of air). I got a blister from my new shoes. FUCK! And last, but not least, I "may have" resurrected a friendship with a certain "sugar spoon" that was totally fucking awesome. I may have. That's all I'm saying there. In fact, that's all I'm saying at all!

Jules :Oyourfavoritequirkygirl!

Monday, March 12, 2007


FUCK! F-U-C-K. fuck. FuCk. fUcK.

J :Of

Sunday, March 11, 2007


quick note.

do you ever look at the letter n and think it looks like the letter m?

J :Onm

trade heads?

I'm starting to think I should probably see a doctor about this headache. I've had a headache every day for about the last 14 days. Extra strength Tylenol doesn't even usually touch it, unless I take 2 doses within 2 hours of eachother. Normally, in the spring I get earaches (possibly due to allergies, but I've never been tested - long story), but not usually headaches. They suck more than earaches do. Any ideas, Aprill? Should I go get an MRI done!? LOL

Naw, I think it's just the snow mould. Mold. I don't know which is the proper spelling.

Daylight saving time came 3 weeks early this year. Apparently it's supposed to save energy and amount to one extra month of daylight this year. I'm all for both of those things, but I have such a hard time adjusting to DST. My whole system gets all thrown out of whack. Wack. Again, I don't know how to spell that. It's my head, I can't think. LOL What!? I need some sort of excuse for the way I think!

Thanks Kim, for the really great reconnecting weekend! I needed that! Love you!

Jules H:0?

Saturday, March 10, 2007

A treat for you closet CWs (and for the seasoned professionals)

I can't for the life of me, remember how I got this link. I thing someone in their infinite wisdom, knowing my dirty little secret, sent it to me. But if you know me, you know my memory SUCKS ASS. So anyway, in light of one of my recent posts about the old man, yes I'm bringing that up again, I'm posting this link. I strongly suggest that if you are a closet CW, to give this website the full once over before you start practicing CWing in public. Please, take time to look at the text below each picture, it's funny as hell! Whatever. At the very least, I guarantee you'll either laugh or your eyes will pop out of your head. Either way, my job's done. Take note of the links on the left hand side: Women's Toes, Men's Toes, Celebrity Toes, Retro Toes, Sports Toes, etc. Visit them all (and take note of all of the paes in each category... I wouldn't want you to miss any)!!

The Camel Toe Report

Enjoy. And don't lie. I know you're gonna go there right now.

Jules 8OP

a great night

Tropical Skittles. Wild Hogs. Naked men in a natural water spring. A gay cop. Ray Liotta's freaky no lip laugh. Travolta's cleft chin. Laughter. Loud, loud music. Friendship.

Then this song played on the way home - Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield - and I turned it up way way too loud and loved every minute of it. Here are some of the lyrics of you aren't familiar:
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you can not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Tonight couldn't have been more perfect.

Jules :Ox

Thursday, March 08, 2007

I always have fun with pet names!

Recently, SSD posted this on his blog and I just thought it was fun. It got me curious enough to find out what mine would be, so here they are!


YOUR GANGSTA NAME (1st 4 letters plus izzle): Juliizzle

YOUR DETECTIVE NAME (fave color + fave animal): Blue Monkey

YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name + childhood street): Lynne Cornwall

YOUR STAR WARS NAME (last 3 letters of your last name + first 2 letters of your first name + first 3 letters of Mom's maiden name): Alljusch (would that be pronounced Alljuice?! LOL)

YOUR SUPER HERO NAME (2nd fave color + fave drink): Pink Cola (Do you think she wears a cape and runs around splashing coca cola in people's hair?)

YOUR IRAQI NAME (2nd letter of your first name + 3rd letter of your last name + any letter of your middle name + 2nd letter of your Mom's maiden name + 3rd letter of your Dad's middle name + 1st letter of a sibling's first name + last letter of your Mom's middle name): Unycnse (I have no freaking clue how to pronounce that!)

YOUR GOTH NAME (Black + name of one of your pets): Black Manchester

YOUR AMERICAN IDOL NAME (fav car and sea food): Mustang Crab

NAME OF YOUR DREAM BAND (name of computer + printer): Vividity Packard

MOVIE STAR NAME (sibling's middle name + mother-in-law's maiden name): Anne Sugarman

YOUR ALTER EGO NAME (name of one your childhood pets + popular brand of clothes when you were young): Max Levis

YOUR LAWYER NAME (fav actor's last name + fav hard liquor): Travolta Bacardi

YOUR HIP HOP NAME (fav candy + fruit): Hershey Apple

Okay, some of those actually took some thought!! Hope you had fun... feel free to play along on your own blog!

Jules :Ov

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

A "CW" story to beat all.

I wasn't going to do 2 posts today, but I felt the need to after being out and about. I went to the mall and gave Nate his lunch there and as he was eating, I did what I love to do the most while I'm in a mall... people watch. I love looking at people and thinking about what their story is, who they're going to meet up with, or looking at how they're dressed, etc. I just think it's fun. And I know I'm not the only person who does this either!

So anyway, the reason for my post is because of this one person in particular. I'm not trying to pick on this man, but I HAVE to mention this so I can sleep well tonight. You know, get it out of my head. Picture a man in his 70's, well groomed with white hair that's neatly combed. An attractive man in his younger days, I would imagine, wearing a white button up long sleeved shirt with an undershirt (as that generation often does). He's got on black dressy shoes that look freshly polished. He's wearing beige casual dress pants with a defined crease and a skinny dark brown belt. So far you're thinking, "Not much wrong with that, if anything at all". Here's the part that made me stare. The pants were very literally pulled up to his nipple line, and as a result, I could tell he was wearing boxers because his penis was very clearly hanging to the left. And not just some little thing either. I swear it hung down half way to his knees. I SWEAR! And I'm pretty sure it wasn't a big ol' stiffy either. That was the relaxed version. So there he was, happily wandering along, dick hanging down and stuck to his pant leg like nobody's business for all the world to see. He had a recognizable grin to his lips and I momentarily wondered if it's because he knew everyone was looking "there".

This caught my eye while he was waaaaay down the hallway and I couldn't take my eyes off him till he turned and went into the food court. Now, if you've read me for a while, or just started reading me but went and read my archives, it is not news that I tend to be a crotch watcher. After this one, I may no longer have either the need or the desire to do so. It was enough to last me for quite a while. Kim - I wish you were there to see it... but moreso, I wish my battery on my cell wasn't dead and I could have gotten a picture!!!

Jules 8OP

How many T's and how many F's are there?

It's a simple question, really, but one that I find myself wondering about a lot.
Do you floss or are you more likely to use a toothpick?

Personally, I floss way more readily than I would use a toothpick to rid my teeth and gums of unwanted food. For example, I ate some chips yesterday and always after eating chips you are left with that really annoying chip tooth syndrome where they're all in your molars and you can't just get them out with your tongue. I tried a toothpick for this last night, but totally didn't get the result I was hoping for (which was clean teeth, incase you're not following me here). It worked to get the stuff out of the tops of the molars, but not inbetween. I HATE the feeling of things stuck between my teeth, so in a death defying acrobatic manouever from the couch to the table drawer where I keep a spare thingy of floss, I risked my life to obtain it after the toothpick left me needing more. RISKED MY LIFE, I tell ya! (And I might have pulled a muscle too... here I come, heating pad!) But back on topic, the end result was total and utter satisfaction. The kind I can only achieve with floss (and the discovery that I should go get my teeth cleaned soon. Don't get the wrong picture here... they're not horrid, by any means, but I love that freshly cleaned from the dentist's chair feeling. Ahhhhhhhhhh!).

So what are you? Toothpick or Floss?

Jules :OE

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

An unusual entry for me.

So, it seems like noone else really thinks the movie is any good. I'm devoting a blog entry as to how come it hit me so hard. I don't often write serious posts, but rather than adressing each of your comments (for the last post) individually, I'm gonna dive right in. Sometimes with me I'm an all or nothing kind of girl. First, I know it wasn't stellar acting, certainly not Oscar worthy and I'm not a Sarah Jessica Parker fan (I can't get passed the bump on her chin). But this is why I bawled myself to sleep that night after watching it:

It dealt with disability, sexual preference, adoption of children, bringing a loved one into the family, race, cheating, and falling in love, and cancer... and how the dynamics of a family change after losing someone they love.

Here's how come it hit so close to home. Cozy up with a blanket and grab your pop and buttered popcorn, you're in for an emotional read.

Disability: I worked with children and adults with disabilities for many years. They always find a way into your heart, no matter how challenging they seem to be. As soon as you are gone away from them, or they pass away, or they graduate... you have a hole in your heart that you aren't sure you can mend. Now that I'm not working there and I only get to visit ocassionally, it's very bitter sweet for me.

Sexual Preference and Adoption: I've recently made some friendships with numerous men who are gay and they are quickly becoming close to my heart. I really loathe people who don't have acceptance for people with this sexual preference. Just like I loathe people who can't accept someone because of the color of their skin. More than one of my new friends have spoken on the blogs or to me directly about how they wish to fall in love, settle down and have children someday. This was a big plot in this movie, so I could really relate to it. Also, when we tried and tried for 3 years to conceive, and it felt like I never would, I thought about adoption. Then when I miscarried, I thought more about adoption. Thankfully, shortly thereafter, I had Nate. I think about my new friends and hope that they can all meet someone to share their lives with and parent a child with. Because there's little else that's more joyful that raising a child in life.

Falling in love: This just always tugs at my heartstrings. I love watching people fall in love, be in love, I love being in love. It's funny how love can make people cry. How loving someone so deeply can bring you to tears when you stop and think about how much you love them.

Cancer: This is a tough one. My mother-in-law (who was as close to me as my own mom) passed away in 2003 of cancer and I remember feeling overly distraught not only about losing her, but about the fact that despite how hard we were trying to make her well again, she wouldn't live to see her grandbaby. I remember the first Christmas (merely a month after she passed) without mom. This movie really brought back a lot of memories about that for me. It wasn't happy. It was, well.... heartbreaking, and it's not yet forgotten - those feelings of loss. Then my step-dad got sick with cancer and as he lay in the hospital bed and I stayed with my mom by his side, pregnant 4 months with my son, I cried myself to sleep many times thinking about how he wouldn't live long enough to see his grandbaby born. He didn't, he passed July of 2005. And I miss him terribly. Now, my Dad has "the c word" and I cry because I don't feel like we get to see him often enough, and I'm scared to death for him. But in his case, I'm trying to stay positive, as the outlook is good for him. My aunt and my girlfriend also have cancer right now, and I'm afraid for them also. So really, any movie or tv show having to do with "the c word" brings me to tears.

So there's a glimpse into my past (if I haven't already told you that yet via email sometime). At the end of the day, I love movies that evoke some sort of emotional response from me and this one did. Therefore the recommendation.

Tomorrow, or maybe even later today after I go have a good cry now, I'll post something more upbeat for you to read. Bet'cha didn't know I could be so emotional, hey?

Love Jules :Or

Monday, March 05, 2007

rent this

If you haven't watched the movie "The Family Stone" and you want to have a good cry, rent it tonight.

Jules :'Oo

Sunday, March 04, 2007

My newest addiction

I didn't know it was possible... and I think it's time to confess.

I'm in love. With an inanimate object. And it's not my dildo. Or my bullet.

I've fallen in love with my heating pad. I took it out the day I had my tubal and was feeling all crampy and it's warmy goodness helped to melt my pain away and settle into some form of rest that without it I wouldn't have been able to achieve. From then on, I've been on cloud nine whenever I get the opportunity to snuggle up on the couch with my heating pad. Tonight, for example, I watched The Amazing Race with him, and then he was so comfortable that I readjusted my seating and snuggled him in close to my neck and shoulder for Desperate Housewives. Mmmmmm, warmy goodness. I wish I could take him to bed with me and have him lay his hottness on my back and neck all night long, but I really am not interested in starting a house fire or ending up with third degree burns. See, I'm a little bit afraid of my newest addiction because too much of him could be a bad thing.

Is there a "heating pads annonymous" club I can join?

Regarding my previous post: that was actually 100% for realsies (thanks for the word Grunty) a dream that I had after the party. I wasn't sleeping well and as a result I was waking up every hour or so. Each time I would wake up, I was able to recall what I was dreaming about. Then I'd fall back to sleep and the dream would carry on. This happened several times! Each time I just kept remembering it! So first thing in the morning, I had to blog about it, of course, to share with you all that I had a dream about you! Yes, YOU! And you and you and you... and the rest of you too! That might explain why RT was a big eyeball with legs, hey? MAN! I love dreaming. And I love my heating pad. Oh wait. I said that already.

Jules :Ohelpme!

Saturday, March 03, 2007

So the people who were the most important showed up, but it was by no means a huge rockin' party!! It was your typical Albertan housewarming, I suppose. Thanks to those who came! I especially enjoyed the visits from my blogger buddies. Although not all of you were there, it was really awesome to see the ones who came all that way to be here!!! I mean, I think that was the highlight of the party, for me.

Like, it was soooo funny when Hammie, Steven and I got up and started table dancing - you guys know how to move! And then when RT and Baby Boy were trying to have some "private time" in the corner I thought, "Aw, how cute!"... until they invited me to join and then I thought that was just weird. And what was with RT's giant eye? Did anyone else notice that or was it just me? I mean, it was like he was just a giant eye with legs. Funny! Kudos go out to Alicia and Billy for all the amazing food, but honestly! I didn't invite you to come so that you could cook for us! Good thing Aprill was there to do the heimlich on Sean when he choked on that stuffed crab phyllo puff! SSD, I loved our cuddles on the couch as we flipped through pictures of snobby London. That was so fun! And then when all the newbies (you all know who you are) started to do acrobatics from my entrance chandeliere... I didn't know whether to cheer or have a heart attack! But we must have good construction here because it totally stood up to all the rig-a-marole. Grunty, who needed the radio while you were here with your kick ass guitar skills and Vera was playing backup with the cowbell (don't ask Vera, though - she'll deny it to the hills). Oh, oh! And who could forget the conversations of farting, pooping and pranks with my sistas AOTM and Jam Fan! My cheeks were sore from laughing so much! I think one of the most entertaining parts of the evening was Snay and his "Great Lego Build-Off". I thought my version of the Enterprise was killer. But Jomiwi totally had me beat, hands down. And then when Snay's was done? I mean, really Snay. Did you have to build something that was took up the whole kitchen table?! Jules, I really enjoyed watching you get drunk and kick loose and then I was totally there for you to hold your hair back when you puked... right? Right? I'm such a good friend! I'm glad we made it to the toilet so I didn't have to make you clean it up.

Loves to you all!

Jules :Ommmwwwwaaa!!

Thursday, March 01, 2007

this post isn't even worthwhile reading.

Tomorrow's the house warming party. Thanks to my fellow bloggers who REALLY wanted to get here but just live too damned far away!! I appreciate the effort... or the thoughts of coming at least! Maybe we should find some private chat place somewhere and just all be on together and party that way sometime. Does anyone know how to do that?

Anyway - I don't expect too many people to be coming tomorrow, despite the amount of invites I sent out. It's not that we're losers... well, maybe a little bit, but most of the people we invited live out of town, and with all the snow we've gotten lately, the roads are bad. So... I figure even if a few people that I haven't seen in a while manage to make it, it was a success. I'll post about how it went after all is said and done. Shit. I just remembered that I forgot to invite my neighbors! Crap. I'll stick a note on their doors tomorrow.

My hands are super dry right now. So today I asked my mom (while riding in her car) if I could borrow some of the hand lotion she keeps in her purse and...

Nah. That's boring. This whole post is boring. It's time for me to just read a few blogs and go to bed. I really DO feel witty inside, but my drips aren't dripping to where they're supposed to. Oh well, there's always tomorrow!

Jules :Og