Wednesday, April 29, 2009

That's Just Plain Plucky!

Well this was a new thing for me, and I have to say I sort of enjoyed it.

I was sitting on the patio at my sisters and the sun was getting hot so I rolled up my pant legs only to inadvertently reveal such stubbly legs that I was uncomfortable baring them to the world. I asked her for some lotion, thinking that might put the unslgihtliness at bay, but it only enhanced it. I wanted the sun on my skin, but I didn't want my stuble to poke my sister's eyes out should she happen to dance too close to me or something. What to do, what to do. Can't dry shave, that's just a painful mess of a thing to do. Can't wet shave... I dont use other people's razors, and sadly, I'm not in the habit of carrying one around with me in my purse.

So I did the only thing a sane woman could do! I went inside and got my sister's tweezers and one by one, I started plucking my leg hair. I was surprised at the soft yet prickly feeling it created as I targetted one hair at a time. Nothing like waxing. Though it was more painful than shaving, I sort of.. enjoyed the kind of pain it inflicted. It took me about an hour, but I finally got my legs into presentable condition.

I can see something like this happening in future:

Sis: Okay, so I'll be there in like, 15 minutes to get you?
Me: Oh Heaven's no!! I'm busy plucking my legs. Come get me in 4 hours, I should be ready to go by then.

We're going to see a Bhangara Competition in Calgary on Sunday together (which I'm SO excited for!). I guess I'd best start plucking the night before for that one!!

Jules :Ohehe!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Crack the window!!!

I guess it happens to everybody at some point.

You're driving along in the car, you've got at least one other person inside the vehicle with you. Happily you roll along, you're car dancing to your favorite tunes, and then all of a sudden your right nostril flares, followed quickly by the left. You're thinking "What's that smell? Did Buddy let one rip?" You try to ignore it but the smell is lingering like crazy. It prompts you to crack your window open slightly and laugh heartily while exclaiming "Oh Man! Did you fart?!" as both nostrils are spread as widely as they can be with that look of utter disbelief at how bad the whole car smells of said friend's stank.

But of course, Buddy doesn't fess up. Now, you KNOW it wasn't you, so you lightheartedly but instantly accuse him/her of lying and try to laugh it off some more while rolling down the window to get some fresh air so your gagging doesn't become a classic case of vomitting in the cup holder.

The catch is that it wasn't Buddy's silent but violent.... as you open the window wider you realize it was a patch of stinky air outside that you drove through and it's stuck inside your car now.

Now you're both laughing and fanning your faces, as if that's gonna help rid you of the stench. If you think about that, fanning your face, ergo forcing the wind IN your direction is just going to push the air up your flared nostrils even more.

This, my friends, is why I believe car air fresheners were invented. Either too many stink air pockets on the roads, or too many friendships lost because one thinks the other is chronically gassy.

I guess the moral is don't be too quick to judge... I mean, if there were a moral to be had here.

Jules :8)

Monday, April 20, 2009

no more hair!

Yay!! My cat finally got the hang of sleeping in his new cat bed. Now I don't have to witness pussy hair on my couch every morning.

Jules ;O)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

my new look

Well, how's that look... bright and airy and soft, like the arrival of spring? I think I'll keep it around for a little while, anyway. Until I'm feeling creative next time. Or need an evening full of distraction again. I know, still butterflies and daisies... what can I say. I love 'em!

Now... it's an important day tomorrow. I'll be signing my D papers. You can all email me and offer me words of support!

Jules :Os

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

scritch-scratch

I feel like I need to write about something, because it's been about a week since I was in here. But all that comes to mind is the fact that my right nostril has been EXTREMELY itchy today. All Day. I don't know what more I can do to stop the itch. I've been scratching it (not to be mixed up with me picking my nose), blown it, shoved kleenex up there and gave it the good ol' patented shove and twist move, squeezed the nostril shut and tried creating enough friction from the outside so as to eleviate the itch, sneezed several times, and even tried lining it with vaseline. I can't get rid of it. If a doctor were to look up my nostril right now, I'm sure he'd accuse me of nostril abuse and have some sort of logical corrective measure for my newly designated *problem*.

Good Lord, please... tomorrow, if I have to have an itch somewhere this persistent, at least let it be somewhere fun to scratch!!!

Jules :8/

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

skin-ny topics

I hate peanut skin.

Reread that and stop being sick minded. I didn't say I hate penis skin. I hate that little dark brown layer of skin that surrounds the peanut. It's such a meaningless little layer. Really. the purpose of skin is to protect the thing that it surrounds. Yeah? So how does something that's thinner and more destructable than wet tissue paper do it's job of protecting the peanut?

Who is the skin kidding, anyway!? It's the shell that does all the hard work.

But what really bothers me is the texture in my mouth of peanut skin. (You're not still thinking penis, are you?) I think that if the distributors of shelled peanuts are going to indeed shell them, then they should make damn sure to remove the useless layer of skin that just gets in the way and sticks in the teeth. I walked around for an hour tonight and it wasn't until I flashed myself a loving smile in the mirror that I realized a piece of the stupid skin was stuck hanging on my front and center gumline, clinging for dear life to the front of my teeth.

Bloody Hell. Just get rid of peanut skin altogether!!

Jules ;O)

Friday, April 03, 2009

Umm... I didn't mean to do that!

Well that last post was just so much fun, I think we'll play word association now!!

What comes to mind when I say:

Hot

Fast

Tight

Hard

Deep

This post, by the way, wasn't intended to be r rated... it's not till I just reread these words that first came to mind that I am all of a sudden feeling a little bit flushed, myself!

Jules ;O)