Wednesday, March 31, 2010

make the room stop spinning, please.

O-U-C-H.

They should make a movie out of my life. Only problem is they'd have to offer everyone a full box of kleenex with each ticket sold.

Jules :'O(

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Ohh, Ajay!

Well, the good news is that I've lost 10 pounds. The bad news is that some of that was probably just due to being sick and having no appetite! I guess I'll take what I can get.. I'm just 5 pounds away from where I was 2 summers ago, so that feels good. I'd like to go far beyond that, so it looks like my love affair with my treadmill will have to continue! I've started doing these strange all encompassing workouts on it lately. I've been walking sideways, causing me to do sideways lunges and walking backwards, holding on to the bars which really gives a good workout on the quads and the triceps, especially if you pump up and down as you're walking. Do it all uphill and you really get a good cardio. Seems to be working for me, and it's fun.. easy to keep up with the exercise when it's so enjoyable. I love it when I get down there with my mp3 player on shuffle. Lately, my favorite workout song has been one since I have finally seen this movie London Dreams and Ajay looks so seriously hot in it! Nice workout visual to keep me going!

Jules :Opantpant

Friday, March 26, 2010

New scenery

I made this blog background ages ago and never used it, so I thought for a little while maybe I'd put it on. It seems a bit dark though, might need some tweaking.

UPDATE: There, took away all the grey... it's looking a bit more like my soft self. It was too dark before.

Jules :Oj

Monday, March 22, 2010

Come here and have a good laugh at my expense!

This post is juvenille. Sometimes I can play strange just like the best of 'em. The conversation below is the perfect illustration of such an event.

Me: Sometimes I like to play with my nose.

Sis: Bwahahaha!! What? You like to play with your nose? *snort*

Me: Yeah. I like how it feels. I like rubbing it. This middle part here... *I say as I massage it with my thumb and index finger*

Sis: *covers her eyes and laughs* Oh My God... stop that!!!

Me: What?! I'm not picking my nose, I'm massaging it. Hey, do you think I could make a living being a Nose Masseur?

Sis: (I forget exactly but it was something like:) "You're a f-r-e-a-k!!" Bwahahaha *snort*

Me: Look, I could massage the right nostril... *rub rub rub* ... or the middle *rub* or the left nostril *mmm, long rub*... *I close my eyes and enjoy the moment of satisfaction* It feels so good, I bet people would love it.

Sis: Jeeeeeeeezzz, you are seriously messed up!! Stop doing that!!!

Me: *I start rubbing the end of my nose and then the bridge* Wait!!! Let me do your nose, do you have any boogers? *I start inching toward her with my fingers at the ready*

Sis: Oh God! Ewww!! Noooooooo...Stop!!! You've gone mental!

Me: I have not! People would love it.

Sis: Har Har Heeeeeee Har.. But seriously, you need to stop touching your nose! *puts her hand in front of my face so she can't see me fondle my nose*

So I stopped.

A later conversation led to us talking about a man's junk and we referred to it as a pipe... and then a certain famous somebody's crotch and how nice his bulge is in some magazine shots. And I said he may not have a giant schlong, and suggested he could be all balls. As if this wasn't bad enough, I then said how great balls are. And then without thinking I said "Hey, do you think I could be a Ball Masseur?" She immediately said yes as she tore up in laughter, and said that I could get paid about $500 an hour to do that... ONLY THEN did I realized what I'd just said - essentially that I could be some whore ball handler. LOL!!! OMG!!! Pretty sure I just about peed myself laughing at that one!!! Sometimes I just don't think.

Funny. Freaking. Night!!!

Jules :Ohaha!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

update!

I just wanted to let you all know that with the arrival of spring, my spirits have risen again and I am starting to feel better about my new condition. I have to be thankful that it isn't anything life threatening right now, and just live with the cards I am dealt, as a dear friend said.

Yesterday I got a new camera. Today my Mr. Treat has given me an assignment to go do with it. 20 photos to show off it's abilities. Well, that should prove to be interesting and fun!

Yesterday I spent a while out in the sunshine at a place here called Discovery Canyon. I've lived here in this city for a very long time and I actually discovered something new about this place yesterday! It has a beautiful picnic area not far fromthe entrance. you have to walk a little bit to reach it, but it's right on the river bank where loads of geese and moose and other fauna gather. I can't wait to take my big and little guys there and have them experience that. Smell the fresh air, hear the fast running river water, feel the sun's rays on their skin...

Well, that's it for my update. Be well everybody!! And hey, if you're lurking... let me know you're there sometime... I'd like to meet you!!

Love Jules :O)

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Whatever. That's my sad life.

Today I'm sad. Today I feel like half a woman, like I've lost a vital part of who I am. And I'm so thankful for the partner that I have found in Si, because he still says he loves me no matter what. Wow. I've preached the whole "intimacy versus sex" thing and have told people that you can be intimate without sex, and I guess my life will be a testament to that, unless I can get things under control with my "condition" before it causes too much damage to me. But for right now, last night... today, I just feel BROKEN and incomplete as a woman. I thought I was done having body issues, living with a sick body, having to have ongoing treatments for anything. I guess I was wrong because this thing, I'm stuck with it forever now apparently. And the worst part is that when I was told I had it, I was led to believe that 10 days of treatment and it would be gone, done, over. But apparently not. It's mine for life. Yay for me. Before you go getting mislead, I'm not dying and I don't have any sexually transmitted diseases... it's a whole other issue. And a very disappointing one... one that pre-menopausal women shouldn't really have. Great hey?

Jules :'O(
This is what I look like after my workout... well, about half an hour after my workout once my face gets back to normal color. When I'm just done, I'm more like a cherry red tomato color.

Anyway... check out my hair in this pic. This was how it was when I took off my sweat band last night. Hahaha!!! It almost looked like a mullet. Not from the angle I took this photo, but in the mirror, for sure it did!

Now everybody will be saying "Did you hear about that Jules chick? She's trying to bring back the mullet!" Actually, I'm not, but who can we laugh at if not ourselves?

Jules :Oheehee!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I finally figured out my best wish!!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Here's what I decided. If I was to be granted one wish from a genie, I've decided for sure what I'd wish for. See, this has been going through my head for about a month now. Maybe a genie came to me in my dreams and told me to start thinking about it.

I would ask for a near perfect memory... 96.4% memory abilities. Might seem a little bit strange to only ask for a 96.4% memory, but I don't think that having 100% is good, there are some things in life you want to be able to forget.

If I had a near perfect memory...

1) I'd be rich because I could remember any information, learn anything I wanted so that I could have any job I wanted, play the stock market because I'd be a statistics freak, I would retain the knowledge of any education I'd ever had, from any source.

2) I'd be in perfect health because I'd remember all the time what was good for my body and how to make it beautiful and healthy.

3) I'd be able to travel anywhere because I'd already be rich and I'd just be able to read a book on any language and be able to use it wherever I wanted to.

4) I'd never lose friendships or fall out with anyone, because I would be able to remember who had what issues or quirks, everything about my friends, and what makes them tick. Plus, anything I'd ever learned about psychology would stick in my brain, so I'd know how to interact with all different personality types.

5) I wouldn't have any issues parenting, because I'd know all the child rearing techniques.

6) I'd probably delve into science for a while and find a cure for some of the world's most killer diseases, because I'd retain the knowledge from all the scientific documents and would be the one who was able to put it all togther and find cures. Mind you... would I do that?? If we didn't have some disease, we'd outgrow our planet awfully quickly. So if I cured some diseases, I'd also have to develop a complete was to make other plants habitable.

So if you had a wish, one wish, what would it be?

Jules ?:O)

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Twisted Dreams part 2

I have no idea what I was

a) doing in my sleep last night or

b) dreaming about

... but this is the condition that the bed was in when I woke up this morning. I could hardly find myself in all the mess!!! Maybe it's not just my son having nightmares afterall... or else my dreams were just THAT exciting!!

Jules :Owow!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

I'm FUMING mad... and so sad for my son.

I had to build this Dreamcatcher for my 4 year old son tonight. I actually received it from Matt in the UK for Christmas, and fully intended on building it for myself even though I don't ever have bad dreams. Well very seldom. But tonight, a half an hour after I put my son to bed, he called me back into his room petrified and said that he didn't want to go to sleep because he was scared to have another nightmare. He said he needed something to take his nightmares away. So I asked him what dreams he was having and he said it was always all about dragons that breathed fire, killing women and men.

My heart instantly fell and I did the best I could do to comfort him and tell him that nothing can ever hurt him in his dreams because they are just dreams, and I told him I'd make the Dreamcatcher for him and that in each place where there was a feather, bead or cross in the web, it would catch and hold 10,000 bad dreams and not ever let them hurt him.

I left my ex husband because he was addicted to online gaming and it took over his entire life and he forgot about me. That's the long and short of it. The other day when my son came home from being with his dad, all he could talk about was playing a "game" at his house that had 2 headed dragons that breathed fire and killed bad guys. He said that he did the running around parts and his dad did the killing parts. I was completely appauled. All I could say was "Interesting" and then later I talked to him about not playing those sorts of games, that he should be censored as to what he can and can't watch and play, because he's ONLY 4 years old.

When he plays the games, he just comes out with it when he gets home, I don't even ask. He's excited, it was fun, but what neither of them seem to realize is the sort of damage they are doing to his little innocent brain. Allowing him to see blood and guts, scary stuff, adult subject matter like killing is not only polluting his little developing brain, but it's turning him into an agressive little boy who concentrates on nothing but swords, poofers, zappers, lasers, and God forbid, even guns. There are certain words I don't allow in my house at all. Kill and guns are totally off limits here. But how do I combat that when he's not with me full time and when he's not with me, he's being allowed to play these totally addictive, adult, fighting war games??

If you have a young child, please please look out for their well being, and their mental and emotional development by NOT allowing them to play violent games, and by limiting their game play. A 4 year old doesn't need to be sitting still in front of a brain dead game. He needs to be in a thriving envoronment full of play and building things and learning how things work and exercise.. something that surrounds him with love and compassion to teach him the basic foundations for a strong and healthy life.

I left a message on my ex's machine to say his son was afraid to go to sleep tonight and why. And I don't care if he reads this post either. He's known for a great many years how I feel about gaming and he's got no business polluting our son's mind with that stuff... especially at the age of 4. Movies, music and video games... for God's sake, if he has to be subject to them, make them AGE APPROPRIATE.

The End.

Jules :O(

Thursday, March 11, 2010

social experiment

I was in line at the bank today. There were 3 people ahead of me when I arrived and they all seemed to be evenly spaced along the matt where we were supposed to line up. It got me thinking...

When you are in a line up of any sort, how close is too close to stand to the person in front of you? It seemed like there was at least 2 feet uniformly between the people in this line up. But the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to keep inching my way towards the person in front of me.. just to see if I had crossed the imaginary boundary of "line up space". I did inch my way after comtemplating it for a while and something curious happened. The person in front of me inched forward as I did, thereby not allowing me to get closer to him in the line. Interestingly, it didn't seem to matter whether he was getting closer to the person in front of him.

I think I'll try this social experiment in other line ups I encounter around town.

When I left there, I smelled my armpits just to make sure he wasn't trying to get away from me because I stunk. From what I could tell, I smelled good, like vanilla and coconut.

Jules :Oj

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

bummed out.

I rocked my workout on the treadmill today. Half an hour of uphill all the way. You know when you used to hear your parents tell you stories of when they had no vehicle and had to "walk to school, it was uphill both ways, in snow that was waist deep". Well, that's the sort of workout I had. I was sweating buckets. Probably not from my boobs. Hopefully not, I want to keep those, not work them off.

I've been feeling poor about my self image. I lost 35 pounds 2 years ago and gained back 15. So while I'm still less than I used to weigh, it's not sitting well with me right now. I thought I'd be thinner for my wedding at the end of May.... doesn't appear that I will be, despite all of my eating right (most of the time) and exercising (3 - 4 times a week) efforts. I'm not sure what's stopping me from losing weight, and it's bothering me.

A book I've read says that your body will lose weight when you can convince it that it wants to be thin, when it's ready to be thin, and when it feels safe to let go of excess weight. But it also says that you have to resolve conflicts, practice forgiveness and let go of things that trouble you emotionally, or it won't feel safe. I can't think of anything at this moment that is troubling me so badly that it is stopping my body from wanting to be thin.

I mean, there's always nagging things here and there, troubles that affect your life on a daily basis that creep up here and there, but I honestly don't feel like there's anything ongoing that's so horrible for my mind that my body doesn't feel safe enough to shed pounds. I'm eating healthy, live foods and choose whole grain stuff whenever possible... I'm drinking more water, I'm taking vitamins and probiotics (well, I take them anyway).

I'm glad the people who love me, love me for whatever I am.... and it's not like I'm horrible looking... I just wish I looked better.

Well... that's all I have to say about that.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

this is vitally important!

I don't like brass door knobs.

And I hate brass kick plates on the bottoms of doors. I remember having to polish them when I worked at the Red Deer Lodge in the housekeeping department. I hated that.

Now, if you came here really believeing that I had something vitally important to say, then you need to get to know me better! I hardly ever post serious stuff on here! I do that on purpose, so that when I do post something that is V.I. I am taken seriously. Most of the time it even works!

Jules :O)

Thursday, March 04, 2010

what happens when one thought leads to another in my brain.

I've been thinking lots lately about bodily functions. More specifically, sweat.

For the past few days I've put my treadmill on full incline, so I'm running and lunging and walking uphill for the 30 minute work out and I've realized that I think this is a more effective workout than just running on a flat surface for that amount of time. I think this because my heart races for like an hour after I'm done my workout, and I sweat tons more. It almost looks like I come straight out of the shower!! Except I don't smell quite as good. But in all honesty, I don't think I smell grotesque after a work out either.

Anybody want to volunteer to come over and smell me after I do my treading? This, I think, would be an interesting social experiment.

But why do some people just smell rank and others don't when they're sweating? It's just water... leaving via all body pores. And then that leads me to another question... do all our body parts sweat? Do boobs sweat? What about toe knuckles? I can't really tell, because I seem to be saturated, my whole upper body is anyway. My bum doesn't sweat, I don't think. I never feel like I'm sitting down afterwards into wet shorts. Well.. not wet bum cheeks anyway! LOL!

Ew. That was too much information. Sort of insinuates that my treadmill turns me on. That's another question then... can a person be in love with their exercise equipment? Because on many occasions, I've literally sighed and said to my well used machine "OMG, I feel SO good right now!!!" and give it a little love tap as I am about to walk away after a good long session.

I think I'd better end this post before I wind up getting myself into trouble, because next, my brain went to the little inainmate objects in my bedside table.

Jules ;O)