Sunday, June 27, 2010

I'm wet.

Well, my sister got a new workout DVD so I thought I'd try it. Actually, I've been chomping at the bit to try it. It's called Bipasha Basu - Love Yourself and it's really quite good... AND you have the option to do it to Hindi music on the DVD, so I didn't need to plug in my mp3 player (that's my favorite type of music to work out to.. Hindi film music). It's only 30 minutes from start to finish but there's a beginner level and an advanced level. I did the advanced one just now. I am absolutely dripping with sweat. It was a good workout, though I wish it was longer. If you blow up this pic you can actually see how wet my hair is, there are drips falling down the strands by my neck. I would say job well done if I'm that worked up after a workout, hey!? I'm 23 pounds down from where I started from in February, and I'm not done yet.

I noticed a few more people decided to follow me, thank you and I hope you decide to make comments in here from time to time! :) It's always nice to have new friends to talk to!!

Jules :Oj

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The day I emerged, a naked slippery mess....

I turned 7 today, if you're going by numerology. Anyone wanna take a stab at it, what's my age?

7 is just my age though. Not my birthdate. My birthdate in numerology is 6. Combine my age and my birthdate and I'm only 4.

I knew there was a reason I was so damn immature! I'm only as old as my son, for crying out loud!

Happy Birthday to me. Someone phone me and sing it to me and make me feel loved!
So... do I look my age? Or can you see all the fine lines and wrinkles sneaking up on me?

Jules :OD

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Lookin' Good!

June 22 - July 22
If you analyze your life, you'll see that it has completely changed over the past twelve months, Cancer. You've matured as an individual and your actions have been beneficial to yourself and those around you. Try to make changes as often as you can. Don't stop now. You need to feel that your life is evolving all the time. There is no time to rest.

Sounds just about perfect, hey? Can't wait to see what the rest of the year has in store for me! I know some would argue that the words "me" and "mature" don't fit in the same sentence. That's just cuz I hide all my sides well and only let the ones show that I know will benefit me the most. (That almost makes me sound schizophrenic, but I promise I'm not). Most of the time, making people smile with my sunshiney ways and crude humor fits, and for some reason, that's not deemed mature. Go figure.

Hey here's a question just for kicks, talking about sides of my personality...
What do you like best about me?
C'mon, butter me up. Make me feel good. It's my birthweek...

Jules :Oj

Saturday, June 19, 2010

I have no title for this nonesense.

I have an ingrown leg hair.
Just one that I can see.
It's right below my right knee,
Taunting me.
I'm left wondering "how do I get rid of thee?"

I'm wearing a kick ass push up bra.
It keeps my boosoms high.
I wonder if it will attract the attention
of all the males who pass me by.

Yes, this is the only sort of poetry
You'll ever get out of me.

Jules :Oj

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Bubble IV

I'm pretty sure somewhere throughout the day I must have downed about 5L of some sort of carbonated bevvy without actually having knowledge of doing so. Either that or I'm hooked up to some invisible Bubble I.V. that is constantly pumping new gas bubbles into my system.

I am soooo gugrly, bubbly, noisy, gassy... and I have no idea why! **burp** Excuse me. I had a french vanilla coffee from Tim Horton's this morning, which I haven't had for months... could that have done it? I also had a peppermint tea with one sugar, but if anything that should have calmed the guts, not infuriated them. I feel puffy. Puffy like the Pilsbury Dough Boy. If you poke your finger into my tummy, I'm sure I'd have to either fart or giggle. Or both. In fact, that's probably why he does giggle in the commercials, hey? I made hamburgers tonight for supper and ate mine with just raw veggies and a smidge of salad dressing... but maybe it was the bun that did it to me, I'm not used to bread anymore. **pffffffft** OMG. Really.. stop this gargly nonesense already!

Thank God I have an air recycler thing on my furnace... the house won't start to smell as contaminated as my body feels!

Jules :O... belch.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Yay for me!

I was going to post this the day I did it because I was so proud of myself but I really wanted to do that survey first.

On Sunday, I went for a 8km/5mi jog! I jogged all of Wishart Trail which is part of the Kerrywood Nature Centre preserve and then I just wanted to keep going. So thankfully, it is situated very close to McKenzie Trail... so off I continued to go. I stopped only long enough to refill my water bottle with ice cold fountain water and then carried on and did the full loop of McK. When I got back to my car I felt like I could keep going even more, but I'd already been jogging for an hour and it was HOT out. I felt like I might get too much sun if I stayed out longer. I was really proud of myself. Plus, I stepped on the scale on Sunday morning (before my run) and realized I broke through my weight loss plateau, so now I've officially lost 22 pounds and have never felt better! I am fitting clothes that are the same size as I was way back in 2001. I am feeling so damn great!! But I'm not done shedding pounds yet. I will keep treading, because now for some reason I am loving exercising.

Maybe that half marathon IS in the future. There just was one about 3 weeks ago in town here, a full marathon, but I don't know the details. I want to attempt to be in good enough shape for that next May. I know 8km is a long way from a marathon, but that'll be my personal goal.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Survey Time

In hanging out with good company once, I was told that for a man, there are two fragrances that if bottled and turned into a women's parfume would send men into orbit and generally make them cum on the spot. That any man who smelled this scent wafting from behind a woman's ear or teasing his senses from her collarbone would be instantly turned into a drooling idiot, unable to think of anything besides "I want THAT".

The two fragrances that women should wear are apparently:
  • Cedar
  • Bacon

I don't think one should wear them together though.

So tell me blogger MEN out there.. does this ring true? Would it send you to the moon if your woman wore either of those fragrances? I really do need to know this. If you're a lurker now's the time to speak up. I told said friend I'd take a survey and get back with an answer, and I really don't want to have to conduct this survey by rubbing bacon on myself or hanging a cedar car air freshener from my neck and walking up to every man I see.... ... or do I? ;OP

Jules :O?

Monday, June 07, 2010

I may have well and truly lost the plot by now...

I'm not really a big Nickelback lover.. but I do notice their music when it plays on the radio because I like the roughness of the lead singer's voice. I haven't ever bought an album of theirs. This morning, this song came on the radio and I couldn't stop laughing (I've been told it's a year old, but this was the first time I'd heard it). If you know me well, you'll understand why. Seriously... the chorus just really killed me... I am such a dirty pervert.. here's how I heard it.

By now you'd know that I'd cum for you
No one but you, yes I'd cum for you
But only if you told me to
And I'd fight for you
I'd lie, it's true
Give my life for you
You know I'd always cum for you

It's funny how changing the spelling of a word can change the meaning entirely!

Jules ;OP

Friday, June 04, 2010

my skin is still crawling

"What should we do today son? It's a beautiful day, hardly any clouds in the sky, it's going to be warm, where would you like to go?"

"I dunno Mommy.. maybe we could go on an exploration."

"Okay... let's go out to Ma-Me-O Beach on Pigeon Lake then? Do you want to go check out and explore a beach that we've never been to before?"

So off we go. An hour to get out there just about, and we arrive to see this (hopefully you can click it to see the enlarged image):

Incase you don't see what I'm saying here... the village of Ma-Me-O was completely infested with these bugs.

See them? Go back and blow up the photo... They were EVERYWHERE, and I'm NOT exaggerating. The stores were all covered, the ground was a moving abyss of flighted bugs, the houses were surrounded, there were enormous black cloud swarms of them in the air, making popping smucking sounds as I drove over and through them. As soon as I parked my car, they glomed onto it, ready to receive a free joy ride. It was the CREEPIEST thing EVER EVER EVER!!
So I turn and look at my son in the back seat and say "Oh Honey... I know we've come all this way, but there's just no possible way that we can get out of the car here... the bugs are totally covering the entire village... I can't get out and be surrounded by all these bugs... it's too creepy."
My son starts to pout... the lip quivers and out come the crocodile tears. Shit.
So, being the amazing mom that I am, I suck it up, gather every single ounce of courage I've got (I feel like I'm a contestant on Fear Factor, remember that show?) and I tell him that we can RUN to the water, touch it, and then RUN back to the car, but that's all we're doing here. And I tell him to keep his mouth and nose covered up. So I dash out of the car, shivering and quivering and totally disgusted and freaked out and open his door and skreech "Run to the water!!" So we're running and bugs are enveloping my body and flying past my head and ears and hitting me in the face. It's revolting. Not rivetting. REVOLTING. We touch the water, admire the green color of it for about 3 seocnds and then bolt back to the car. As I turn around the worst imaginable thing happened.
I could feel it wiggling and squirming around inside me. So I'm coughing and sputtering and running like I've never run before and squealing at Nate to get into the car and all I want to do is projectile vomit, but there's no way in hell I'm stopping to do that outside the car. I quickly get us in the car and check to make sure there are no bugs stuck on us and then try so hard to hack up this bug. I sounded like a cat horking up a hairball, I'm sure... and the damn thing wouldn't come out!!! So the only thing I could do was drink. Thankfully I still had some Iced Vanilla Coffee from McDonalds. Downed it in 2 seconds flat. I couldn't really feel the bug anymore, but as I got the heck outta dodge, all I could think about was how I was leaving Ma-Me-O Beach a fraction of a gram heavier because I ate a GIANT MOFO bug.
We went to Gull Lake instead and it was perfect there. Just the normal amount of bugs, which in comparison, I was happy to deal with. It's 7 hours later and I STILL feel like bugs are crawling all over me.
Jules 8Oahhhhhhh!!!