Saturday, August 21, 2010

I'm disgusting.

I always sit with my legs up, or my feet up, or my legs crossed.. rarely do you ever see me with both feet on the ground unless I'm walking or doing something that requires both feet.

On the way to Banff today with my soul sistaaaa I was the passenger and I was sitting with one knee bent with my foot up on the seat, and one hanging to the floor of the car. I glanced down and saw this shimmer on the top of my foot as the sun's rays finally decided to grace our presence. Naturally, when something shiney catches your eye, you're drawn to it. So I look down for a longer duration and was totally horrified at what I saw!!!

OMG. Seriously??? Since when had my body decided to turn me into part warewolf or sasquatch?? The sun's beautiful rays drew attention expertly to the fact that I had a total forest of hair growing on the top of my right foot!!! Horrified, I wasted no time looking at my left foot and to my utter dismay, there was a forest on that one too! So I gasped, and hissed and spat and then broke out the terrible news to my sis. "Vix!!! OMG, Look at the top of my feet?? They are SOOOO hairy! Ooooooh God, it's disgusting!!" to which she promptly responded with a giant belly laugh that left her in tears... such compassion, I tell you. So we compared feet and she had NO top-of-foot hair. So it left me to believe I am a total freak of nature! Once I got over the shock and horror of it all, we laughed our little asses off until we could barely breathe.

For the rest of the day, we made constant "dog" or "wolf" references, and it was soooo funny. BUT, the terrible situation HAD to be rectified. So as soon as I got home and was available to do so, out came the waxing strips and schwooouuuuuppp!!! I ripped those big bad boys out, chicken louey!! No way I would be left in a position where I was actually afraid of the next full moon.

Have a look at how gross it was before. Really. Blow it up even. It's ok... because now that I'm aware of this malfunction, I will for sure keep tabs on it from now on!

Jules :Ohooooowl!!


Vixey said...

LMAO!! That is still so funny. But my dear sis you are forgetting about my toe hair that you yanked on. LOL
And... at least you can cover your wolf feet up in the winter, I have to stay on top of my "Bert Brow" all year long.

SIMON said...

Oh LMAO too!!
Jules have you any idea how long your avid readers and followers here have, over the years, spent searching microscopically for your tiniest unexpected hairs and minute faults in that near perfect framework that is you?!!!
Almost as long I guess as we all have spent laughing at the descriptive discovery and outcome. Wonderfully funny post!

don said...

That hair can tell you small changes in wind direction..

Jules said...

Bert - Thanks for the genuinely amazing laughs... only we can get away with shit like that, hey???

Si - Wow, high praise! However, a literal forest of hair in the wrong spot doesn't count as minute.

Don - Hey, welcome back! It's been forever since you commented here! You are so funny... okay, maybe I'll let ONE foot get all hairy again for when the next time my sixth sense says there's imminent wind danger. They'll all flock to me and say "Jules!! Quick, whip out "the foot", saaaave us!!!!"

Tys on Ice said...


werewolf? There wolf.

Mrs. Dude said...

hahaha... wonderful! Welcome to the world of shaving the top of your foot when you shave your legs

Jules said...

Tys - you're really got a way with making me feel good about myself. Where's the support.. where's the love?? ;P

Mrs. D - Seriously? Do you have to do this??? I thought I was the only one!!