Monday, September 13, 2010

worst day of my life.

Worse than the time he said to me "you're fat".
Worse than the time he said "I don't love you, I want to go live with Daddy"
Worse than the times he's called me boring.

Today he said to me "Why should I be nice to you when all you ever do is treat me like DIRT?!?!"

I have never been so horrifically hurt in my life. The only thing you want your child to feel is loved by you.. It's what you strive for each and every second of parenthood. You live and breathe your children. They are the most important thing to you in the world, you want nothing but their happiness. Even after the worst tantrum, if he still comes back to you feeling remorseful and needing his Mommy's hugs, kisses and cuddles, you know everything's going to be okay between you.

But this... THIS... killed me this morning. All I ever do is treat him like dirt? Is this REALLY how he perceives our relationship???? They say that kids always say what's really on their mind cuz there's no point in lying, that they speak the truth cuz they're innocent minded.

The worst part is that he said this to me after I gently woke him up, sat on the bed with him, hugged and kissed him, spoke softly to tell him he needed to get ready for school, made him one of his favorite breakfasts.... I was golden. And all he could see was me treating him like dirt. I feel like a total and complete failure this morning. All I can do is cry, cry, cry. How could a not-quite-5-year-old even form a thought like that??? And to top it off, he never said sorry, he never came to me for those kisses and hugs after his time out.

So here's me. Totally. Devastated.

Jules :'( :'( :'(

4 comments:

SIMON said...

That's horrible for sure and it would be even more horrible if he knew what he was saying!!
He's so bright he picks things up, but has no idea how bad some things sound when said out of context.
Don't cry, too much, everybody who knows you knows its not true!
If it was you wouldn't be crying.

Diane said...

Oh no! :'(

It's not true! Sometimes kids just wake up angry.

When I was in middle/high school my dad would just turn my bedroom light on and walk out. It would seriously piss me off.

Vixey said...

Well, I think "they" clearly have never had kids. Kids can be very hurtful. Just ask any teacher (or parent). lol And trust me, kids lie. They do it to keep themselves out of trouble (though that doesn't seem to be the case here).
What one has to remember though is that sometime kids don't really know the impact of what they are saying but they want you're attention so they say things that end up being hurtful.
Sorry you had to go through that today though. Trust me when I say... By tomorrow you'll be "The Best Mommy in the whole world" again. :o)

Tys on Ice said...

looks kids do this..they can be hurtful...sometimes on purpose...what they seem to be doing is testing boundries, looking for reactions...they can also be lil emotional blackmailers...i guess this is our version of learning hunting skills...dont take it too personaly...they are just testing the waters...ignore it and raise above it...dont play along..