Worse than the time he said to me "you're fat".
Worse than the time he said "I don't love you, I want to go live with Daddy"
Worse than the times he's called me boring.
Today he said to me "Why should I be nice to you when all you ever do is treat me like DIRT?!?!"
I have never been so horrifically hurt in my life. The only thing you want your child to feel is loved by you.. It's what you strive for each and every second of parenthood. You live and breathe your children. They are the most important thing to you in the world, you want nothing but their happiness. Even after the worst tantrum, if he still comes back to you feeling remorseful and needing his Mommy's hugs, kisses and cuddles, you know everything's going to be okay between you.
But this... THIS... killed me this morning. All I ever do is treat him like dirt? Is this REALLY how he perceives our relationship???? They say that kids always say what's really on their mind cuz there's no point in lying, that they speak the truth cuz they're innocent minded.
The worst part is that he said this to me after I gently woke him up, sat on the bed with him, hugged and kissed him, spoke softly to tell him he needed to get ready for school, made him one of his favorite breakfasts.... I was golden. And all he could see was me treating him like dirt. I feel like a total and complete failure this morning. All I can do is cry, cry, cry. How could a not-quite-5-year-old even form a thought like that??? And to top it off, he never said sorry, he never came to me for those kisses and hugs after his time out.
So here's me. Totally. Devastated.
Jules :'( :'( :'(