Friday, February 04, 2011

Really, everyone should read this one...

So, due to my L.S. I had to have something called an endometrial ablation done. It's a fairly common practice, at least here it seems to be because since I've had mine done, I know of at least 2 other women who've also had it done. Basically, it means destroying the uterine lining so that you won't have a period anymore. It didn't bother me much, since I've had my tubes tied since Nate was born, and have known for some time that I'm unable to bare children again.

So anyway, I had this surgery done a while ago and something so strange has come as a result. I still go through a monthly cycle... but at it's climax, there's still some cramping, a tendency to overeat, serious fatigue, a craving for chocolate, and some scary bad assed pms for a few days. Basically, it's like having the period but without the messy part. I non-affectionately call it my ghost period.

It's really odd though.. going temporarily insane for 2 or 7 days and not having the same end result that used to signify that I was indeed not losing my brain, but it was the cause of something bigger and more important. I mean, people don't understand "ghost periods". And really, without any physical evidence of what's making me lose my marbles, aside from some seriously painful and oddly full feeling breasts, how can I really justify my temper tantrums anymore? I have had to rely on my soul sister's period cycle to obtain information on whether my suddenly scortching hot temper is justifiable or not.... "Umm, Vix.. are we having our period right now cuz I just bit my son's head off and...". Yeah, you get the idea.

Okay, so from now on there are two types of periods. The drippy kind and the ghostie kind. They're both real... they both need to be treated with the gentlest of approaches, men and children (God forbid there are children reading my blog) pay close attention ... they are equally as serious in terms of affecting the female's ability to rationally distinguish and respond appropriately to.. well just about everything. When your woman is experiencing her drippy or her ghostie, just get used to saying things like "what can I do to help you?" or "I'd really love to give you a lower back rub right now" or "ummm, do you mind if I take the kids out for a while, and would you like a chocolate ice cream for later?" or "no, no.. I didn't notice that giant pimple at all" or "are you kidding me? you don't look bloated!" or "yes, I'll cook, clean and do all the chores without you telling me this week, for sure!"

Be agreeable and extra tender with your woman during this time of the month. It's firey, it's ferocious, it's mindnumbingly insane and we really just sort of turn into unrecognizable beasts for a few days. It's sort of like having an out of body experience... you can't hold us accountable for much during this time.

The good news is that it only lasts for a few days and then we become that sweet loveable woman you fell in love with for the other 26 days of the month.

Jules :O!

4 comments:

SIMON said...

Men have cycles too and they are all ghosties!!
Heaven help everyone when your man and you have them at the same time.

The Grunt said...

I had quasi-pms symptoms when my oncologists were pumping steroids into me. It was freakin' weird.

Tys on Ice said...

find a way of getting rid of the symptom of pms than its results, now that wud be what i call science...

iam just jealous..i too demand my monthly get outa jail free card.

Jules said...

Si - yes... I remember... LOL ;P

Grunty - hmmm... have any of them lingered? You could totally be onto something with that... think of future girlf's, you would have a built in excuse for moodiness...

Tys - Get outa jail free card!! Hahaha!!! Funny man! As long as I live, I doubt I will truly ever find a man who understands what women go through with a period. Really, we deserve serious credit for not killing somebody at that time of the month. ;)