Out of all my waking hours today (16.5), I spent 5 tiny little hours with people, and they were all spread out. I only got to see my son for 3.5 hours today (spread out thin). Other people's kids for 1 hour. My sister for an hour (which you would think makes 5.5 hours, but you're wrong, some of that overlapped). Tried to get together with my mom, she was busy. Almost hooked up with a girlfriend, but then she was pulled away.
This is my normal. Most of you are blessed to be around people at work all day, and usually there's at least one person you enjoy in your workplace. I spend most of my days alone or having short visits with people here and there. Then I am trapped inside my home from 8pm till I go to bed... can't socialize properly with people then.
I crave physical contact with people. Talking on the phone, or through chat or texting... it's all ok and it sometimes does the trick.. but what I really need are face to face visits. Face to face companionship on a daily basis.
I need my best friend here to hang around with all the time for support, friendship, soulful love and physical love.
Shitty thing is that my needs cannot be met.
I'd settle for someone to catch a movie with or have coffee with on an evening when I'm alone.. and lonely.. but only if it's not a scary movie and only if it's decaf.
Guess that's it. Just figured that sometimes it helps to write stuff like this down and press publish.. get my feelings out there.