Thursday, November 24, 2011

Rated R for sexual content


I came home today to my voice mail light flashing on my phone. So I dialed in and went to retrieve the message laying in wait and here's what I got... no word of a lie, this is the message that was left for me:

"...Pussy Dahling... I wanna lick your PUSSY... I wana fuck you.. MWAH" in some distant accent.

So naturally I listened to it again to make sure I wasn't hearing things and sure enough, that's what it says. You can hear other people talking in the background, as if it's at a telemarketing place of some sort.

Here I am thinking that this employee is totally on the verge of LOSING IT COMPLETELY and that he's just asking to be fired! Imagine if someone overheard him leaving that message? Someone of authority? He wouldn't even say anything. He'd just hand the guy a box and point to the door.

I wonder what the conversation would have gone like had I been home to answer the phone...
Me: Hello?

Him: Hi Ma'am...

Me: Hello stranger from a long distance away...

Him: I uhhh.. I am calling.... to.. uhhh...

Me: Is something wrong? What can I do for you?

Him: Soooo sorry Lady... you're voice is so distractingly beautiful that I am having a hard time to overcome this boner I am producing in my pants currently and I've forgotten why I've called...

Like really. If my happy voice mail message is THAT much of a turn on that you start to salivate and get a boner just from listening to me say leave a message, there's something seriously lacking in your life, Mr. Telemarketer.

The number that shows up on my phone is 000-000-0000, by the way. So I can't even trace it.


Funny thing is that I don't find it all that insulting. I think it's more comedic than anything else! I think I'll have Thor listen to it when he gets here tonight and we'll have a good chuckle. LOL

Jules :Op


SIMON said...

The organisation that I used to work for both the men and the women used to have to ask callers (of that nature) if they were masturbating, so to even things out maybe you should ring them and see if they are following instructions!!!

"Oy Mr Telemarketer are you jerking off?"

Tys on Ice said...

horny telemarketing guys!! god whats next?

just let them know that u r the girl of Thor....noone messes with the greek gods....its hammer time!

Jules said...

Si - LOL! how many times have you had to ask that question in your life, then!

Tys - LMAO!! I love your comment. I'll remember it for next time.

SIMON said...

I think answering it here is pure sensationalism........ but more than once!!