Thursday, December 29, 2011

When something inappropriate happens...

When all hell breaks lose and you feel like you're totally going to snap remember to do two things first...

Have a stiff drink...
... and just breathe.

Then if you're still f*cking mad (disappointed, angry, embarrassed and confused) go ahead and raise your voice, because it must be something to really be upset about at that point.

.. Today I couldn't do the stiff drink thing until I got home, so I did these out of order. I breathed, I yelled, and now I'm going to go have a shot of liquor.

Then I'll pray that I can just let it all go...........

Jules >8O(

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Blessings.

Not from some random circulating email... just from my heart to yours:

To those who are lost, I pray you find your way.
To those who have love, I pray that you fully embrace it.
To those who have children, I pray that you treasure them.
To those who are single, I pray that you never feel alone.
To those who are wealthy, I pray that you share your wealth.
To those who are rich in kindness, I pray that you teach others.
To those who are struggling in health, I pray that you are given relief.
To those who have lost meaning, I pray you find it again.
To those who have belongings, I pray that you express gratitude.
To those who are struggling with anger, I pray that you find peace within.
To those who have little, I pray that you realize you have more than you think.
To those who have health, I pray that you realize how lucky you are.
To those who are in relationships, I pray that you never take your partner for granted.

To one and to all, I pray for the best possible life for you, now and in the New Year.

Love Jules

Monday, December 26, 2011

Happiness comes in all forms

I had a dream a while ago on a weekend off, after I returned to sleep at 7am. I dreamed that I was at a ski race, and Thor was about to race down. He skied and ended up making the podium. I guess it was some sort of professional ski race, instead of recreational...? Anyway, he got to the bottom and because he did so well it was being spotlighted on tv. I jumped over the barrier and ran up to hug him and he gave me this "I've accomplished my life goal" look. Still wearing one ski, but having taken off one, the crowd going crazy.. tv still filming, he knelt down and said to me "Jules, one of my dreams has come true, now I need to take care of one final thing to complete my life..." as he reached into his racing suit and withdrew a ring for me. "Will you be my wife?"  I fell to my knees, matching his level, looked deep into his eyes and a tear ran down my cheek.

I'd like to say it was a happy ending, but it was literally left open for interpretation at that point, I woke up. I'm not sure if I said yes or not. But I do know I was left with this really delighted feeling after waking up from that.

It was one of those dreams that you don't forget quickly. It's been a few weeks since I dreamed it and still clearly remember it. I hope it sticks with me for a while longer. It makes me happy.

Jules :Osigh)

Friday, December 23, 2011

Merry Christmas To All


This is the newest addition to my *seasonal snowman fetish*... he sits upon my tree's branches all gleeful and looking a bit psychedelic in his 60's colors. He's really cute, I think. Plus, I love his scarf and wish I had one like it in my size. I'd look a little bit stupid borrowing his though. He's a bit of a ladies snowman. There's this one other little chicky that I hear him flirting with on the tree when he thinks I'm not paying attention. 

He was $6. Really broke the bank. Not all things that bring happiness need to be expensive! However, having said that, I added up this year's total cost and I seriously can't believe how much this season has cost me (including Thanan's birthday). It's really good that I start buying gifts in the summer or there's no way I'd afford this time of year. 

I hope you all experience some sort of deep profound joy this holiday season and bring in the new year with a positive outlook on life and love. Say hi to a stranger before the New Year. Guaranteed it will make you both feel good and smile. 

Love Jules xo

Monday, December 19, 2011

the view

I'm not sure what's up with blogger, but I have no ability to format anything. I just have a spell check button, an image upload button and a "preview" link. Hmmm.

Today I went skiing for the 3rd time this season. For living in Alberta, we really haven't had much snow this winter, so far... and on one hand, I'm fine with that because the roads haven't been all that bad here. On the other hand, it makes for a bit of a challenge when trying to find snow and tracks to ski on.

I got tired of just scratching the surface of the one inch base at most and I looked over toward the golf course and saw what looked like really great snow. So I detoured through the trees, and decided to cut my own tracks. It was worth it, even though I thought I'd never get back to my car at one point.

I had to avoid the water hazards and I fell into a sand trap and narrowly avoided skiing right through another one. Carefully plotting my course, I eventually ended up hooking up with another set of tracks that someone else had done and managed to make my way back to known territory.

Actually, even though the skiing surface was mediocre at best and I fell, I still had a really great workout and a nice time out there. Swish, swish, swish... pshh, pshhh, psshhhh, tweet tweet, skitter scatter, fwooosh.


This was where I cut my own tracks through the golf course.


This was where they normally groom the trails, but it was only half groomed, due to the lack of depth of snow. Sometimes there were tracks, then they'd just disappear. Still, beautiful, I thought.


The golf course from the edge looking east, I think.. I didn't have a compass. And even if I did, I wouldn't know how to use it.

Jules :O)

Monday, December 12, 2011

Tub Chronicles

So I laid there.

Bubbles enveloping my entire body, as I sunk down deep into the hot water. I could feel my skin tingle as each little microscopic container of captive air released against me. It tingled almost to the point of being uncomfortable. Could bubbles really cause pain, I wondered? Or is this just what it feels like to be totally caught up in the moment and feeling nothing else? Devoting yourself to the feeling of that which touches you can be an enlightening experience, if given an honest try, I decided.

I sat up slightly, letting the top half of my face hover above the bubbles. But they had attached themselves to me and had followed me up above their natural habitat. Some of them lived around my ears. I let myself give way to them, listening only to their musical rhythm, as if I was holding my ear to a fresh bowl of Rice Krispies. They crackled and snapped just so, as they battled against one another for the dark cavern that led to my eardrum, as if to be in competition for the prettiest *pop*.

Lost. Swept away in the bubbles, I found myself once again. I love to live there, if even only for a few moments. Their happy melody soothes my frenzied soul and make me pause and appreciate the simplicity that life can be, if given the chance.

....... and if that was all too boring for you to read through... here's a photo of myself that I couldn't help but attempt at capturing after I left the bubbles behind .....


I wish my eyes were that big and beautifully shaped in real life.

Jules :Oi

i'm late and i can't do anything about it

Ahhh, goodness me. I don't know where life is flying off to in such a hurry.

Chances are highly likely that you won't be receiving Christmas cards from me on or before the 25th this year. I haven't written them up yet and it will be very slow snail mailing them out. I'll do the best I can, but please don't be upset if they come to you around New Years this year!

I'm really feeling overly hectic and rushed and pulled in every which way lately. For about a month now. I feel a bit like I'm on the verge of blowing my top, but just when I think that might happen, I manage to find a way to calm down. Largely due to talking to Thor at the end of the day, nearly every single day and falling asleep to the sound of his I love you's. That definitely helps. Still... every day finds a way of making me a little bit edgy. Sometimes a lot edgy.
So for now...

It's bath time.

Bath time with bubbles.

Jules :Oj

Monday, December 05, 2011

When half is missing, it just can't be seen as complete.

ARGHHHH!!!

So frustrating when you have this really cool thing, but you need this other really cool thing to complete it and you can't get your hands on it no matter how hard you try.

I just can't settle for sub-par on this one. It has to be just exactly the thing I'm looking for. I hope I can find it and get my hands on it in time. I shall henceforth make this my mission. Nothing else matters until I can complete this.

Without it, the other half is just incomplete.

Jules :O?!

Saturday, December 03, 2011

find it... catch it... hold it close.

It was a really REALLY windy day up above. But down below next to the river, among the forest and the still free flowing water, it was calm and peaceful and serene. I glided along quite clumsily for my first time of the season.. no tracks provided for me and having to cut in my own. Wobbly, uncoordinated, happy to be alone in the moment so I didn't have to feel silly about not being "good" at what I was doing, I just tuned out trying to be perfect and found what I was looking for in the rhythm and movement that I was capable of. A happy little squirrel flittered past me on the ground and ran under a fallen tree. I whispered "be well, squirrel" at it as I passed it by. The birds happily sung their chorus in the swaying trees. I turned my ear in their direction as I momentarily closed my eyes and lived in these moments of harmony. The branches moaned and creaked under the pressure of the windy fury. I absorbed their thick throaty complaints as they spoke out loud. The zesty whirrrr of the skis as they ran across and through both fresh and icy snow. I let the vibrations roll through my body and heat my muscles with each challenge in terrain presented to me. A few minutes in, I took off my skis and snapped a few shots with my camera because it was just so beautiful.




The photos are for you all to enjoy, but who gave me this gift? The ability to become so enthusiastic about being immersed in nature this time of year in this way?

This smile is for YOU.

Jules :Owow!