Friday, April 27, 2012

you don't know what you've got till it's .. at risk.

It makes me sad.

I will have to have something done in the future that will change the way my voice sounds. It's imminent. I just don't know when yet.

What if I can't sing anymore?
What if I can't have adequate expression in my voice when I talk?
What if my new voice doesn't suit me?
What if my relationships change because I don't sound like me anymore or they don't like how I sound?

I was singing tonight because I love to sing. My voice is hoarse. I'm hoping that it's just allergies. But whether it's because of the thing behind my inevitable procedure or not, I couldn't sing well with my hoarseness and it depressed me. So now I'm writing my third post of the day. Funny how you can go to the tranquility of birds, to the silliness of today's top music, to realizing that your singing voice is in jeopardy and feeling like crying. From serenity to tears.

It was told to me I will have a different voice, no getting around it. I will either be quieter, or hoarser.

Will I still feel like me?
Will my boys know it's me?
Will my boyf recognize me on the other end of the phone?
Will I be able to get used to how I sound?

I guess it could be worse......

J :'O(

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