Last week I decided that I needed:
a) some exercise
b) some fresh air
c) to reconnect with my surroundings
d) celebrate being childless for 2 hours
So I hopped on my bike, Breezy, and cycled through several subdivisions, and took off down the highway. Or up the highway, because it was a slight but steady climb that was making my legs feel like lead after a short while. I decided to stop before I fell over from sheer leg exhaustion before I reached the top of it (mistake that I shall not make again next time), paused to take in the view of the city, had some water and decided to head back to town. It was a nice slope, I didn't need to pedal for some distance.
I recall, as I was gliding to the set of lights a few kms away, how wonderful the evening looked and smelled. There was a thunderstorm on the horizon and it was casting off some interesting shadows and carried with it the scent of rain. I thought "Wow, this is really beautiful". The wind on my body refreshed me and I couldn't stop smiling.
Just as I thought how great it all was, and swore to myself that I'd do it again the next day, a large hog hauling semi truck began to pass me by. It passed me by as a pig decided to raise it's ass to the hole in the wall of the truck and have a pee. The pee sprayed my left leg. For all I know some of it might have landed elsewhere.. good thing I had my mouth closed.
The pig pee landed right on me.
How would you complete this story?
Turns out I just went "Ohhh fuck that shit!!" and cycled to the nearest pond where I splashed myself clean and carried on riding.
I didn't cycle the next day though.