Monday, August 13, 2012

A story for you...

Last week I decided that I needed:
a) some exercise
b) some fresh air
c) to reconnect with my surroundings
d) celebrate being childless for 2 hours

So I hopped on my bike, Breezy, and cycled through several subdivisions, and took off down the highway. Or up the highway, because it was a slight but steady climb that was making my legs feel like lead after a short while. I decided to stop before I fell over from sheer leg exhaustion before I reached the top of it (mistake that I shall not make again next time), paused to take in the view of the city, had some water and decided to head back to town. It was a nice slope, I didn't need to pedal for some distance.

I recall, as I was gliding to the set of lights a few kms away, how wonderful the evening looked and smelled. There was a thunderstorm on the horizon and it was casting off some interesting shadows and carried with it the scent of rain. I thought "Wow, this is really beautiful". The wind on my body refreshed me and I couldn't stop smiling.

Just as I thought how great it all was, and swore to myself that I'd do it again the next day, a large hog hauling semi truck began to pass me by. It passed me by as a pig decided to raise it's ass to the hole in the wall of the truck and have a pee. The pee sprayed my left leg. For all I know some of it might have landed elsewhere.. good thing I had my mouth closed.

The pig pee landed right on me.

How would you complete this story?

Turns out I just went "Ohhh fuck that shit!!" and cycled to the nearest pond where I splashed myself clean and carried on riding.

I didn't cycle the next day though.

Jules :Oeww!


SIMON said...

I fear you should have said, Ohhh fuck that pee, in terms of accuracy!!

To be fair I think your reaction was much more calm and controlled than most peoples would have been!!

The best fictional ending of course would be that it was 'The Golden Pee' and it gave super powers to your leg muscles and made you the fastest, most enduring cyclist of all time...... Hey Ho!!

don said...

I'd be pissed off..

Jules said...

Well, I can't way I was really very happy about it all landing on me, but I just let the anger go. Initially though, it wasn't pretty listening to me. lol

Jules said...

Forgot to comment back to you Si. Cute ending. I'd like to be the that cyclist.