Well here's what you've been waiting for. I came home from the hospital a week ago today. They sent me home with this steri-strip bandage and said to take it off in a week. So this morning, I dropped Thanan off at school, and came home to delve into the task. I was very apprehensive and wished Thor was still here looking after both my physical and emotional health. I was pleased to see that all the bruising is gone now, as I had a few and one was quite large.
I took a deep breath and started to peel off the bandage. It came off easily, and was pretty much barely still stuck on. I had thought that my neck felt so "tuggish" there because of the bandage, but it is just because of the trauma, I've discovered.
Here it is, freshly uncovered. I hadn't washed it yet. I think that I should be considering myself lucky because all of the other thyroidectomy scars I have seen on people have been literally twice as long or more than mine is... yet... I want to cry. I don't recognize whose neck that is... I don't feel like that's who I am. It doesn't look as bad in the pic as it does in real life. It's quite a puffy scar, because I tend to scar that way, and will be quite visible forever now, I think. I fear.
I put on this brave face, but inside I am very emotional. I'll just have to come to terms with it all, and accept how I look now. I have to be thankful and I should be feeling blessed. I made it through the surgery well. I still have my voice in tact and it's smoother and better sounding than it has been in years (though I haven't really given my singing voice a fair try yet as it strains my vocal chords right now), and I still have my parathyroid glands in tact so I won't have any calcium deficiencies. I can swallow again without things getting stuck in my throat. These are things I am very grateful for. I am grateful that Thor was here to see me through the whole thing and take care of me, and I am grateful that I seem to be adapting to the synthroid without too much problem. I am grateful that the anesthetic seems to finally be gone from my body and that I am building my stamina back up. This is the beginning of a new chapter in life. I guess I'll just have to keep turning the pages, one page at a time.