Wednesday, June 05, 2013

It's an animal's world...

As I was observing a large dog in the back of a truck that was in front of me in the Tim Horton's drive thru this morning I found myself thinking how awesome it would be to be that dog, carefree and happy within its own little world. Then I started thinking of some of the reasons animals have it better than us humans. Here's what I came up with while I was waiting to make my order.

1. Uber flexibility means you can lick yourself. (Don't tell me they ONLY lick themselves to get clean....)
2. You don't have to worry about how you smell or things like morning breath or pimples, and it doesn't matter if you have something in your teeth or on your face.
3. You don't need to copulate in private, and people smile, cheer and appear generally happy when they see you doing the deed.
4. What's a bad hair day?
5. You don't need to be potty trained and someone always cleans up your mess.
6. The biggest fashion concern is what color of collar to wear, unless you're a forest animal, in which case, you have no fashion concerns at all.
7. You can hitch a free ride anywhere and you don't have to wear a seatbelt, thus giving you free range of and the best views from the vehicle.
8. If all you want to do is sleep all day, nobody gives you a hard time about it.
9. It's fun having a secret system of communication that humans only try and understand. (Animals spend a lot of time gossiping about humans).
10. Making friends is really easy and other animals don't get offended if you sniff their crotch.

I would say this is not only applicable for household animals, but wild ones as well. Ahhhhh.. it's an animal's world out there. Maybe society imposes too many limitations on itself. Perhaps we should be able to sniff crotches and sleep all day without having any sort of penalty or fallout.

Jules :O)

4 comments:

The Grunt said...

I've always wondered what my friend's dog could tell me about myself from the smell of my crotch.

SIMON said...

Yes there would be some advantages but probably equally some disadvantages. As ever though you have made me think!
Nice one!!

Quiet Paths said...

Oh my, you are a hoot! Don't forget the relentless barking that one could carry on with - day and night!

Jules said...

Grunty - plenty, I'm sure... and I suppose as long as it didn't blab it to the whole world, you know, kept it between you and him, his crotch sniffing would be alright.

Si - The only disadvantage that i can come up with is eating dog food. But maybe to a dog, dog food is delicious.

QP - HA! Thank you! Ohhh, the freedom of speech, so to speak. Yes! I'd love that if I were a dog.