Saturday, November 09, 2013


I wrote this letter to my son about a week ago the night I learned that he received his very first "real" love letter from a girl at school that he's been crushing on all year. 
This is the love letter.. adorable, right?

I tried to put my letter in terms he would understand, at the tender age of almost 8 (he's almost 8, going on 25). Printed it out, left it on the table for him to read while he ate breakfast the next morning. Turns out, his GF dumped him later that day because he wanted to hang with his best friend at lunch recess rather than her for the 4th day in a row. I guess Grade 3 love is fickle. Previous to this letter, I told him to always be himself and never to forget about his friends in order to have a GF. I'm glad he took more to my first advice than this stuff because this ended up being waaaay over his head, despite my best intentions. I don't now how to navigate this pre-pubescent love stuff. With a heavy *sigh* I chalked this up to a best-intended-parent-fail.

Dear Thanan,                                                                               

I thought I would write you a note about “How to be a good boyfriend,” since it seems that you have a nice little romance going.

  • ·        Make your girlfriend feel loved and happy.
  • ·        Always be kind, polite, honest and friendly.
  • ·        Compliment your girlfriend often on how pretty she looks.
  • ·        Offer to do nice things for her.
  • ·        Always be thoughtful, respond to her love notes in your free time.
  •         Spend time with her if you can, but don’t forget about your other friends. Try to include everyone altogether in one big group.
  • ·        Be strong, but also be gentle.
  • ·        Make her laugh, and support her when she’s feeling sad.
  • ·        Find ways to show her that she’s important to you.
  • ·        Control your own anger and impulses.
  • ·        Be a good communicator (listen well and share your feelings).

If you can do these things, you have a good chance at keeping a girl’s love. Good luck!
Love Mom xoxo

That night, after a light hearted discussion and laugh about it all with Thor, I told Thanan to forget the letter I'd written, that it was really too over his head and that I'd pull it back out when he was a teenager, and that he should stick to two rules for now....

1. Be cool
2. Be nice

With a sigh of relief he said "Really, Mom?" and I nodded "yes." He said I was the best mom in the universe and hugged me. 

I might have parent failed with the letter, but I think I won with the revision... thanks to Thor. 

Jules :Oj


SIMON said...

I don't see the epic parental fail all I see is a letter written from the heart aimed at helping your son based on your own principals. This won't change so all that has happened is that he has seen the letter a few years early!!
He wouldn't have understood the revision if that was all you gave him!! So you win and he didn't lose!!
Nice one Jules!

Jules said...

Thanks Si!