Sometimes I feel like a great big hole exists in my world. Sometimes I feel like I have to shut part of myself off to protect me from the pain this causes. Sometimes I feel as though closing myself down emotionally can protect me and make that portion of my world tolerable. Sometimes I feel cheated, like I shouldn't have to turn off myself in order to cope. Sometimes I feel like this will never resolve. Sometimes I feel like there's a light at the end of the tunnel and the hole will fill in and become complete.
Most of the time, it is a constant emotional struggle and battle within me. Most of the time I am being torn in two different processes of thought.
All of the time, the one thing I know for sure is that if it does work out the way I want in the end, the journey will have been worth the 'sometimes' and 'most of the times' that I am forced to endure. All of the time I know that life isn't just about me, we all have things to endure and I shouldn't be so selfish. All of the time I know I love and I am loved.