I started blogging with a private blog that was intended only for myself as a journal about motherhood. It's a tough thing, motherhood is. Parenthood is, in general. Probably the hardest thing that a person has to endure. I say "endure" because it's full every day with challenges and situations to navigate. It's hard because it brings forth every emotion known to man at any given moment and can change on no more than a second's notice. It requires you to be completely adaptable and flexible. It means that you are solely responsible for a human being. You will shape them, teach them, provide for them, give them an understanding on everything they will need to know to grow into moral, intelligent, sound people with proper judgement and good values. You become a teacher, best friend, confidant, guidance counsellor, disciplinarian, judge, nurse, and playmate from the moment your child is brought into the world. There is no other job that is as 24/7 as parenting. You don't get sick days, you don't get days off and you can't just quit it if you don't want to do it anymore.
So when my son said this to me the other day as we cuddled before bed, it really meant the world to me:
"Oh Mom, I just couldn't live without you. Not because you feed me and give me what I need to survive, but because you really love me."
As I choked back a tear, I kissed him softly on the forehead and told him he was 100% right, that I truly do love him deeply. More than anyone else ever could.
I must be doing something right in this complicated maze of parenthood.