Monday, July 27, 2015

my nightmare...

I know dreams are just dreams. Just nonsense that your subconscious plays with while you're in REM cycle. But why is it that the happy dreams fade so quickly and the nightmares stick with you for what seems like forever?

Last night I dreamed that Thor decided that he didn't want to propose to me... ever. He made a steadfast decision to just stay in limbo like we are and never progress. He didn't see how our lives could mesh properly with all the government red tape and hoops we'd have to jump through. In my dream I was mortified, and woke up feeling anxious and struggling not to cry. This stupid unwarranted feeling has managed to cling to my waking brain and tug at my heart, keeping me on the verge of tears all day. I occupied myself all day with enough stuff so that I wouldn't dwell on it, but any given down time and poof! There it is again. The nightmare. It seemed so vivid and real. Yet I know it was just a dream.

It just doesn't seem fair. Any of it, really. Was that my fear surfacing? Or was it just nonsense mixed subconsciousness? Does it link to just the sadness I've been feeling since Thor had to leave last Wednesday that I just can't seem to get over?

Eff.

Well, hopefully I'll dream better tonight.

Jules :'O(


2 comments:

The Grunt said...

Most of my dreams are pure "wtf" entertainment. But when I have dreams like the one you just told about, it really messes with you to the point of ruining your day. Take it easy.

Jules said...

Thanks Grunty, I haven't dreamed anything this shitty since then, thankfully! Maybe it was just surgery drugs getting out of my system still. LOL