I've known for a long time that my son's wiser in years than he appears to be. Tonight he came home from a visit to his father's house and was very upset. We sat next to each other on the couch as I asked if he wanted to talk about why he was so upset. He did. Basically, he's disappointed in his dad for only ever wanting to do his "gaming" when Thanan's over there for a visit. Thanan's tired of not getting any 1 on 1 time with his dad except for supper time, where the only interaction he seems to get is in the form of nagging. All his dad ever does is play his video games.
There was this really strange juxtaposition between easy and difficult to coach this little almost 10 year old in how he can get through these issues with his dad when they are the very issues that broke the two of us up so many years ago. Some things never change. Some people never change. Addictions are hard to break and some people never see the need to conquer them.
What it's doing is driving Thanan and his dad apart. He actually said that he likes his dogs over there better than his dad, and that he doesn't enjoy going there much any more.
I figured that Thanan would find out about this all at some point, and it would become clear why his dad and I fell apart, but I didn't think it would happen at this tender and impressionable age. I thought maybe in his teenage years. He wants me to talk to his dad about it all, but I'm left having a very difficult time on how to broach this topic with my ex, since it's the very thing that I could never get through to him on when we were together.
Interesting. Sad. Telling.