Saturday, April 23, 2016

Training for Husbands?

This ad appeared in the Pioneer's April 1st edition.


The fine print reads: "That's 1-APR-ILF-OOLD. I was fooled for sure... for a minute. Good one!
It's great to see people with such a good sense of humor.

Jules :O)

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Bird calls of the mighty car...

When my brakes wore out last time, they made an unreal screeching sound that you could literally hear from one side of a mountain to another. I remember clearly, very sloooowly driving up the Going To The Sun Road in Montana with Thanan in the back seat and due to a massive back log and construction, I had to constantly apply my brakes. Omg, the headache I got from the continuous squealing. Terrible. And embarrassing.  But easy to diagnose. When your brakes sound like a thousand bald eagles are descending upon your vehicle, that's a brake job in the waiting. All 4 brakes replaced and about $450, I was on my way again, with great stealth once more.

Two weeks ago, I went to put my summer tires on my car and in tightening one of the lug nuts, it completely sheered off one of the studs. I didn't know how to fix that, and was in a slight panic because right now more than ever, I need my car. So I took it to the only place in town that had a stud, Canadian Tire, and they fixed it and I was on the road again, $150 later.

Within the past week, I've noticed another bird call sound coming from my car, it started just being on occasion, but now it's almost every time I brake. This time, I'm thinking it's the gentle yet high pitched chirp-whooping sound of the disc brakes on the back, coincidentally coming from the same location as the tire that I had the trouble with. So tomorrow I'll take it in. Maybe it's just a rock. Maybe it's the callipers slightly sticking as a result of them fixing the stud. Maybe it's the fact that I need another set of brakes. Tomorrow we will see. For the first year in a long time, I'll be getting back an income tax return. Good thing too, because I'm pretty sure I know where it will be going.

The whole ting's ironic, because last month, I paid off my car, finally. Since then, I've had a few things already go wrong with it. It's like it knows that I finally have that extra payment money, so it's going to make sure to use that all up for me. Joy.

Jules :Ough/


Saturday, April 09, 2016

sad.

Haven't been writing much lately.  I found out that my dad's terminally ill. He told us a month ago. It's amazing how time passes so quickly. Thankfully, I've gotten to see him 6 times so far, and I hope for at least that many more, but I don't know how much longer we'll have left. It's a 3 hour driving day when I go there, and I've got to be able to catch him on a good day that also meshes with my rigid daily routines.

As I knelt before him at his feet, I told him this the other day, the day after he decided he needed to move from his house to the palliative care unit at the hospital:

"Dad, I just wanted to tell you this... I love you so much, and you're my hero, you've always been my hero and you always will be my hero, no matter what happens. I am SO proud of you for handling all of this with such dignity, humor and bravery. You really are an amazing man. I love you."

He said "I love you too," and went on to talk about the difficult but necessary decision to make the move into care.

As we both teared up, I felt a sense of relief having gotten to say that to him. I hope that when my time comes, I'll be able to handle it even half as well as he has been. Bless him for being so very awesome.

But what I've concluded through the many encounters with death that I've had over the years, is that there is no good way to go. Fast or slow, accidental or knowing... it's just as hard whether you as the survivor get to say everything you wanted to or it happened suddenly and you couldn't say anything at all. Watching and waiting is as traumatic as a sudden event. Death is just hard no matter what. So be kind, be patient with those around you going through tragedies, offer support as you can, and while your loved ones are still healthy and full of vitality, let them know the important stuff, and for God's sake... try and laugh. It's easy to forget how to live and laugh, yourself... but it's so important.

Jules :'O(

Friday, April 08, 2016

Fix that, fix it now!

For those who just don't get how to manage those socially awkward situations, here are some instructions to make your life easier.

Situation: Your friend's got something in their teeth.
Resolution #1: Just pull out a toothpick or a flosser from your pocket/bag/purse and nonchalantly hand it to them. Keep talking seamlessly so as not to draw attention to the unruly stuck spinach.
Resolution #2: As quickly and flamboyantly as you can, pull out your compact mirror, open it and shove it into their face, laughing hysterically. Sometimes you don't need words, just laughter.

Situation: Buddy's got a booger hanging on.
Resolution #1: Just hand them a kleenex, 'nuf said.
Resolution #2: Try this sentence on for size, "Dude. You've got a hanger" while motioning your own nose.
Resolution #3: Just start incessantly playing with your own nostrils until it catches on... some times things can be mimicked subconsciously and with any luck, it will knock the booger loose... problem solved.

Situation: Your friend's showing their crack as they sit down in jeans which are too low/small.
Resolution #1: Say nothing. This isn't really your problem, unless you find it embarrassing to sit next to, in which case, try resolution #2.
Resolution #2: Jump up and shield your friend's behind with your coat yelling "There's nothing to see here folks, move on, MOVE ON!!"  Next time, your friend will likely think twice about wearing better fitting pants.

Situation: Your lover's face has suddenly developed a giant whitehead and you can't take him/her romantically anymore because it's too distracting.
Resolution: Literally the only thing to do here is to gently just start touching their face, and offer to pop it for them. If you can't pop your lover's pimple, you aren't meant to be together. Chances are, they'll go off into the bathroom and do it themselves. But definitely point it out to them, they don't want to be a turn off.

Well, hopefully that will help you out in some potentially awkward moments. Best of luck!
Jules :O)