Saturday, October 08, 2016

The crazy purse lady...

A woman's purse is important. My purse is highly organized. I can stick my hand into that thing without even looking and find exactly what I'm going for within 10 seconds. No giant hole where everything's just floating around, bumping into each other, getting wrecked, crumpled, and beaten up. Nope! Not in my purse!

So, when my purse breaks down and I need a new one, it is a significant event which requires time, patience, and a LOT of looking for a suitable replacement. My current purse is a "derek alexander" and I remembered getting it at The Bay. So naturally, I didn't go there first. Instead, I bought one from Bentley and it failed miserably in fitting everything in  and I had to take it back. The next day, I had time to myself so I decided to get serious. I went to The Bay with full knowledge that I was about to make a bit of a spectacle out of myself (though I'd hoped I'd just blend into the surroundings).

Here's how it went:
I got to the store, went to the purse section, picked out 5 seemingly appropriate purses from the derek alexander collection, pulled up a nice big empty spot on the floor, and spread out as if I owned that piece of real estate. With the 5 purses in front of me, I sat there cross legged, attempting to decipher which would be the best one for the job. Insanely, I had an exact duplicate of my existing purse, but in 2 different colors, as well as a few other models. I say "insanely" because I could have just immediately purchased one of those, knowing everything was perfectly adapted to my needs, but NO. I got it in my head that I should get something "different" this time. I sat there for about 20 minutes, maybe 30.. or 45... I can't recall, and then a lady came over to me and said this: "Hi there... so the security guys said that it looked like there was a lady in the purse section who looked like she may need my help..."

I looked up at her, looked beyond her to the ceiling, noticed the giant security camera thing, then back at her and said, as I pointed up to the cameras: "OHHH! Yes, I imagine that I must be looking like some sort of crazy person sitting here trying out all these purses, but I can assure you that I'm narrowing down the selection and I'm down to making a decision between these two models." I explained to her that it's a huge decision for me and that I have to make sure that I have enough compartments, and that I was literally putting my stuff in the purses to make sure things fit and then taking them back out. THANKFULLY, she just laughed (and actually said it was a brilliant idea) and didn't have me arrested for attempted shoplifting! I could see how that all might have looked really bad to the security guys! So I told her that I was moments away from making my decision and that I'd see her at the checkout station shortly. Another 10 minutes passed, and several texts with Thor to help me make my decision and I went against his advice.

Flustered, embarrassed and a little bit stubborn (afterall, a purse is a highly personal woman's job to pick out.. right?), I picked the purse that was not like the one I already own, thinking that it would be nice to have a slight change, and besides, I was pretty sure everything would fit.

Sadly, the next day, I found myself back in the store, exchanging it for the one identical to mine in style. I got the different one home and it just didn't hold everything in the spots I needed it to... but at least I changed it up by getting a different color (i'm such a wild child).  Next time, I'm just going to go straight for the model I already have. Why change a good thing? Can this really be a lesson learned?

So to recap, this week I was basically called dumb by a retired math teacher, and thought of as a crazy purse lady (and on the verge of being accused as a shoplifter) by the staff/security in a department store, despite my ever honest intentions.

I'm on a roll.

Jules :Othat'slife!

Thursday, October 06, 2016

The day of the insanely persistent math teacher...

Two days a week, I work in a teacher resource/educational toy store, just for fun. Educators of all kinds come in looking for advice on which resources would work best for their student's needs. I've never had an experience like this one, in the 3 years I've worked there.

A retired male educator (former grade 12 math and science teacher) comes in looking for grade 5 level math resource books for a tutoring gig that he's going to be doing. After a good 15 minutes of gathering up appropriate books for him, he starts flipping through. He gets to a page in one of the books which focuses on word problems. (SIDENOTE: I barely passed, but I did pass, Math 30 in high school and did well in math up until grade 10). The educator stops on a page and, while I'm still scouting the shelves for more resources, reads this out loud: "How many decades are there in 7 centuries?" The problem was, he didn't just read the word problem. He read it and then glared at me with expectant eyes... he actually required me to answer that on the spot at the snap of his fingers. The other problem was that I didn't realize I was going to have to do math, and under pressure, my mind went blank! All I could think was "OMG, he's testing me on a grade 5 question, but I'm so flustered that I can't even think of how many years are in a century!" but what I said was "Uhhhhmmmm... I didn't know I'd have to do math!" as my face turned all shades of red.

Then this conversation took place:
Teacher: Come on, you can do it. How many years are in one century?
Me: (Thinking, holy schizz, this guy's not gona let me off the hook). I blurt out:100!
Teacher: How many years are in a decade?
Me: 10! So there are 10 decades in a century! See, I can do math... *awkward laugh*
Teacher: No that's wrong because the question asked how many decades there were in SEVEN centuries...
Me: (Now turning shades of purple) SEVENTY! The answer's 70! I SWEAR I passed math!!
Teacher: Well, ok.. I'll believe you..... But I'm not so sure anyone else would.
Me: *gulp*
       *another awkward giggle*
       *panic sets in*
       *feeling really, really dumb*
       *deep shade of maroon*

Thank GOD I was able to then redirect him and start getting him to walk away from the resource books and onto a different topic (geology). He told me that I should have my son join some gold panning group, and he was quite pleasant about it. He left after having said that he needed to better assess his student before settling on a book to buy.

Up until now, I've totally held my own with every single educator that's come into the store. This guy... eeesh. This guy was something else. I truly hope never to have to assist him in finding resource materials ever again. He should at least have to phone in to say he's coming in before he gets there so I can brush up on my word problem skills.

Jules :Odumb/