Two weeks or more of nipple sensitivity to the point that it feels like the streams of water from the shower are literally slicing through them like a hot knife through butter.
Two weeks of bloating which seems to gain momentum the closer you get to the miraculous event.
Breasts that are so sore that even receiving a hug makes you want to punch the person in the face.
1 to 3 new pimples per day half way through and for the week leading up, diminishing whatever self esteem you might have left after the extreme bloating.
An increasing sense that everyone around you is either seriously stupid or out to trigger you on a constant basis.
The desire to eat everything in your pantry.
The need to sleep all hours of the day and night.
THIS is what it feels like to be a woman who is of menstruation age. And I'm NOT kidding. I'm not even exaggerating here. And you reach the point of literally BEGGING the Universe to give you your period so that the symptoms can subside. A trade off of the messy shedding of the uterus, so that you don't have to suffer with all that other shiz anymore... just so you can hang onto the one shred of dignity and sanity you have left.
And we're supposed to feel *blessed* for this cycle as it allows us the ability to make children. I mean, I'm all for reproduction, but you know... ok, let's do the math. If the average girl starts her cycle at 13 years of age, and she gets a period every single month of her life until she's roughly 50 years old... That's 37 years x 12 periods a year = 444 periods. FOUR HUNDRED AND FORTY FOUR PERIODS! If the point of the period is for reproduction, then all I have to say is WHAT THE EFF! NO person on the planet is going to have 444 kids. NO girl the age of 13 is going to have or be allowed to have kids.
So I just feel the need to ask: WHY were we created to endure such an abundance of pain and utterly undeniably life affecting processes for 37 - 40 years of life when the average woman only has between 1 - 3 children?? There were some serious math miscalculations that went on when the human body was created.
And men... men never have to deal with this. Maybe instead of reaching orgasm each time they ejaculate, it should be like an unknown as to whether they will orgasm or have extreme pain.. like the Russian Roulette of ejaculation.. just so that some of the time they can also experience reproductive discomfort for no reason at all. I'm all for equality.
Period Prayer: Lord help me make it through the next few days, help me to keep my sanity and not crawl under a rock and hide from humanity because they are all making me insane. Please help me to keep my temper and not yell at the next person who says something stupid, which is nearly everyone. Please give me tolerance and perseverance to survive yet another damned period, for no reason because I'm not interested in having any more children. Lord give me the strength to survive the assaults from my bras, shower streams, and huggy people. Reinforce the knowledge that this too shall pass, but only for 1 week before it all starts again.