Vivid Intellect

Saturday morning laziness.. ahhhh.

2012-01-28T08:37:00.000-08:00

It's a morning of shadow boxing with Thanan, texting with Thor as he prepares for a day of ski racing, talking to mom on the phone, chatting with Shell in gtalk, lounging around in jammies until 10am and drinking my favorite french vanilla beans, black of course.

The weather is dreary and snowy, but that won't keep us inside all day. I'm gonna take the boys to the mall and then to my sister's and then to a movie later in the day. Should be a nice day.

I'm starting to feel a bit better.. emotionally and physically.

Shout out to all you lurkers out there! Hollaaaa!

Jules :O)

birds

2012-01-26T20:33:00.000-08:00

While out skating last weekend with Thor, I stopped several times to enjoy the what is normally spring-like sounds of these birds. It has been a very warm winter here, aside from maybe 10 days altogether, so maybe they're confused. Or maybe I just don't know anything about the birds that winter here. That's a likely scenario, actually. In any case, here they are.

At one of the protected parks in the city, they have this large bird sanctuary look out thing. We didn't see any birds to speak of at this location, but it looked cool to peek through the holes and see the landscape nonetheless.

Jules :Oj

young mind, old body... such is my life.

2012-01-24T19:46:00.000-08:00

My body since about November hasn't been all that healthy. I had a salivary glad infection, and a quite uncomfortable flu bug to contend with. In and amongst all of that, and surrounding the symptoms of those things, I've also had a few underlying and recurring symptoms of illness. But I sort of assumed they were just all connected and that I was dealing with a lingering bug or bugs. I've felt very near passing out a couple of times since November, shortness of breath, all over heat, racing heart, lightheaded and dizzy on and off, and quite a bit of fatigue.

The past couple of days though, I've woken up with a shooting pain in and behind my right eye, as well as a massive right brain headache that is untouchable by conventional methods of pain relief combined with intolerable ear aches along with those other symptoms. So I figured I should probably go in and see a doctor. Thankfully here we have fairly quick access to them. So I went to the Walk In Clinic that I frequent and saw Dr. Stern. He's somewhat new at that clinic. I recollect seeing him one other time.

He examined me and discussed with me thoroughly that he believes these current issues are the result of a fairly strong sinus infection and is treating me with a medicated nasal spray as well as an antihistamine in an effort to clear them and my eustachian tubes. I'm hopeful that works. He mentioned that I might be experiencing anxiety, hence the dizziness, raciness and heat. Awesome. Panic attacks. I haven't had to deal with them for at least 8 or 9 years. But since it was him bringing it up and not me mentioning it at all... there might be something to it.

Then he decided that I should have my thyroid checked in detail again via an ultrasound (my goiter isn't much if any bigger than it normally is, but perhaps.. it's causing me a bit of issue with swallowing lately) and have my bloodwork all done again, including my sugar levels. He's leaning toward the thyroid being the root of some of the other issues, so he's wanting to be quite thorough. So tomorrow I'll go do the bloodwork and 3 days later I'll have some results.

The funny part...
As he was checking off boxes for the bloodwork he said he'd test a whole bunch of things, and then paused, looked at me up and down and said... "I'm thinking we might as well test your... wait.. no... how old are you? About 25 - 27.. let me see on your chart." And I let out this little giggle and said I was 35. He responded with "Noooo way... I never would have thought that. There's no way you look like you're in your 30's! But since you are, we're going to go ahead and check your cholesterol levels too since we're at it." (He obviously didn't notice all my wrinkles and white hair).

I laughed again, told him he was officially my new favorite Doctor, and told him ok and that I'd fast for my 12 hours tonight and do the bloods in the morning. He insisted on me seeing him again for the results because he didn't want my files to just get lost in the system and when I went to thank him with a handshake and a "Thanks so much Doctor.. Stern.. is it?", he shook my hand back and said "Yes but please.. call me Donovan. I'll see you in a few days."

Hahaha. Is it just me or was that whole exchange a little bit funny?

Well, wish me luck with the whole thing. I'd like to be better soon. I'm pretty much tired of walking around on the verge of passing out and with daggers in my ears and eyes, surrounded by fog. It's probably not all that safe.

Jules :O/

feeling blah, but I'll post anyway

2012-01-23T09:09:00.000-08:00

Another wonderful weekend. With Thor, it never disappoints. He's really an amazing man, and I'm really sooo lucky. But I'm feeling down right now cuz he had to go home. :(

We went skating again while he was here. The weather was gorgeous and there was no reason to stay indoors. I didn't realize what a great lower body workout the skating was until this morning when I noticed that my butt felt tighter. I love exercise that doesn't seem like a grueling workout and makes you feel it the next day. It's awesome. It's hard to believe how quickly time flies, too. 2 hours went by just like that. But then again, the whole weekend flew by. Wouldn't it be awesome if all you had to do was 2 hours of exercise per muscle group to have it snap back into prime shape again? Imagine what a toned world it would be then. There'd be no excuse to be overweight. Maybe scientists should take a look at that and see what they can come up with.

We got a little bit of snow and the temps warmed back up here. Maybe tomorrow I'll think about seeing if I can get out for a nordic ski.

Well... there's really not much else to write. I received my cat's ashes and some cards, along with his paw print. Thor was with me when I opened them up and I felt a whole lot stronger because of that. So I think I'm coming to terms with that whole loss now. So ya. That's good.

Boring post. I'll say bye for now.

Jules :OI

Love

2012-01-20T17:26:00.002-08:00

"It's ok if you can't make it. The weather is being stupid. I wouldn't want you to risk your life by driving in a storm. Really, I'd understand completely if you can't come up."

"I know, but you need me there right now, so I'm planning on coming, despite the snow event happening here...."

I'm not sure if you can show being in love more than facing treacherous driving conditions at your own will just so that you can soothe your girlfriend who lives 10 hours away. I mean... to me... that says everything.

Jules :O*

Get real, life.

2012-01-16T18:40:00.001-08:00

Sometimes it's just too hard. Life. Sometimes it seems so f*cking hard that you feel like you just can't even go on. That the only way to make it through the day is to close your eyes and try to sleep. It's too much to ask for just a single day without an incident of some kind.

The loss of my cat has profoundly struck me. Hard, like mourning for a person. But yesterday when I felt the tears coming, I just swallowed hard and tried to focus on something else. Thor bought me a heart locket for Christmas. I find that if I touch it, I feel better. So I'm always reaching for that lately, it seems. It's easy enough to distract yourself, unless the tv throws programs at you out of nowhere like it did tonight. Eating supper, news was on, tasting the food, enjoying the moment and suddenly the news switches to the "consumer report" segment. The segment: How owning a pet can add up to such high vet bills that often times owners have to put them down rather than fix their problems. 5 minutes of the cost of owning a pet. A dog will cost you $15000 over it's lifetime, and a cat will cost you $12000, even though they live longer. That's just for the vet bills alone, not including food and shelter, toys, etc.

I'm not even kidding. I spent just over $1000 on Manny last week. And then they wanted another $1000 to fix his emergency situation. If I'd have done that, he still would have died of kidney disease, pancreatic disease or most likely liver disease, because all 3 were present in early to moderate stages.

Why didn't I just change the channel? I was stuck. Couldn't move. Could barely even breathe. And to add insult to injury... the cat they started the segment off with... an all black cat. A Manny twin.

Also today, I was dealing with a carbon monoxide detector gone rogue. It woke me up at 6:30am, but not with a CO or fire warning at all. Just with an annoying beep that "chirped" once every minute or so. That high pitched piercing beep that is enough to drive anyone insane in a matter of minutes. Well, I could stand it and even appreciate it if it was really alerting me to anything. I unplugged it from the wiring of the house and it still chirped. Battery backup. Ok. I'm thinking, just get the kids off to their school and program and then come home and deal with it. I get home, it's still beeping intermittently. I read the manual top to bottom online. The beeping doesn't quite match anything they're describing. I blow into it so as to clean it's sensors, and then press the test button. It seems to be working properly. I decide my only action aside from a call to the appropriate electrical people, is to stick a new battery in it, even though it wasn't alerting me to that issue. I tested it again with the new battery, and it stopped beeping at me. Thank F*CK. So I plugged it back into the wall. It communicated with all the smoke detectors, they did a little echoing party of shrieking blips and once they were happy with each other the whole process came to an end, about 3 minutes later. Now it's sitting where it belongs and it's got a green light and I haven't heard from it all night. I hope to God that it doesn't wake me up again because of a "nothing event". If I've got a CO problem, be effing clear about it and have the thing tell me "carbon monoxide" like it's supposed to do. Just in case it goes off, though, I bought a free standing one that isn't connected to the house wiring at all. It's got fresh batteries and I tested it to make sure it works too. So if IT goes off, I'll know I'll need to leave the house and get the furnace and hot water guys to come in and locate the problem. It hasn't detected anything and it's been operating since 11:30am. So I believe we're all fine.

Anyway. Tomorrow, I hope that despite the VERY bone chilling cold temps, I'll have a good day. No tears. No stress. No malfunctions. Just one day. That sure would be nice.

Jules :O/

Manchester 1998 - 2012

2012-01-12T21:29:00.001-08:00

He's not here anymore to welcome me when I come home, tail jigging and a happy meow to say "Mommy!! I missed you today!"

He's not here to play with and get feisty with and play paper ball soccer with.

He's not here to rub against my legs and sleep on my feet.

He's not here to gaze into my eyes when I'm feeling lonely or lick my fingers when he knows I'm feeling sick.

He's not here to sit beneath my chair and keep me company when there's no-one else around.

He's not here to lick the bath water from my fingertips or visit me when I'm using the washroom.

He's not here to feel his warm fur on my skin and listen to his loud and soothing purrrr.

He's not here to sleep outside Thanan's door so that he can collect fresh morning hugs and kisses from a little boy who adored him.

He's not here to sit on the stairs and see us off every time we had to leave the house, and be a big strong guard kitty while we were away.

He's not here to be the official house greeter to any and all who stopped in for a visit.

He's just not here anymore. In body, anyway.

He'll never leave in memory. He'll never be gone from our hearts. I'll always have photos of him and of our time together.

We had a couple of very nice and extremely caring and bonding moments in his last days. As if to say "You are my everything, Mommy... you've loved me and taken the best care of me that you could have, and I love you."

I rescued Manchester from an animal shelter. Just me... I went there and thought I'd adopt a different kitten that I'd rescued a few days prior but when I got there to adopt that one, it was gone, and Manny jumped into my arms. I remember the day I brought him home. Just a kitten. Energetic, super friendly, the loudest purr I had ever heard. He was the light of the family with such a great personality. Outgoing, but warm... always looking for a cuddle or to play. He'd sit on my chest and massage my throat and collarbone or arms. He'd lick my hair and my cheeks. Really he didn't care what he was doing, as long as he was with me. He'd welcome me home if ever I was away, but he'd be sure to let me know he was mad that I was gone too.

I only have one regret with Manny and that's that I wish I'd have let him up on the couch more. Especially lately. Had I known our days together were nearing the end, I never would have let him out of arms reach. He got to do it a few times whenever Thor was here. And I know he loved that. I teased Thor about creating bad habits, but really I always found it so endearing.

The love a pet and his owner share is totally unconditional and completely bonding and rewarding. It involves a mutual understanding of one another, on unspoken terms... yet somehow it's always completely understood. It is the partnership of all partnerships, the friendship of all friendships. It is never demanding, and not taken for granted. It is rock solid, even when you're feeling at your worst.

Manny was always here for me, for 14 years. Irreplaceable.

Manny had to leave us today at 2:50pm, January 12, 2012 due to complications of a urinary tract blockage and fatty liver.

Manny.... we will miss you.

Rest Peacefully, Manchester. I'll see you again someday.

Love Mommy xoxo

Manny. My Cat of 14 Years.

2012-01-10T13:38:00.002-08:00

December 26th, I come home.. I notice Manny hasn't eaten hardly any food over the weekend while I was gone. It looks like he's had water, but barely any food's been eaten. I figure he's just protesting because I left him home alone for 2 days.

Dec 28 - Jan 3, He still seems playful and energetic enough.. but all he does is come and nibble at his food on rare occasion. Thor and I try a can of wet cat food, he eats it a couple of tablespoons overnight.

Jan 4, I try a new type of cat food for him, in a separate dish. He takes just a couple of bites, all day and all night. I set out more canned food, he refuses it.

Jan 5, I have known now for about a week that this is turning dire and that I shall take him to the vet. Tomorrow will be a good day because both the boys will be gone.

Jan 6, I take Manny to the Vet Hospital. They look at his teeth and tell me it will be 3 or more extractions. He undergoes a full blood work analysis and things are coming up with almost no issues. Some very beginning stages of kidney distress. The vet report calls him "anorexic" and the doctor says she thinks his teeth are likely the problem and that we need to act on that immediately.

Jan 7 - 8, Manny is lovey, purring, seems happy, but hasn't touched any food now since late Jan 5th. Over the 2 weeks, he's losing weight fast. He has lost a kilo. He used to be overweight, so it's not making him look too skinny. But his coat is full of dandruff now and he's also lost interest in grooming. Need to get him a better brush.. one that will get the dander off.

Jan 9, Manny goes to a different Vet Clinic.. an affordable one.. and has 4 teeth extracted, an IV treatment, the rest of his teeth polished, his back claws clipped and a skin tag removed from his back. He's awake and ready to come home at 2:30pm. He's totally stoned and all he wants to do is sit in his litter box. No eating or drinking. The vet insists that I give him an appetite stimulant. I am hopeful that it works and that the numerous types of cat food I've left out overnight will at least show some signs of being eaten.

Jan 10, I wake up to Manny laying in the hallway, in front of Thanan's door. No food has been eaten. I check the litter box.. there were 2 spots of pee. Good.. kidney's are still functioning. I give his round of meds and a few syringes of water. He throws his head into my arm and weeps. Cat tears. I am feeling really really low. The vet assistant warns that I shouldn't keep giving the antibiotic on an empty stomach because a cat will develop a "fatty liver". I don't know what that means. He continues not to eat. I go out, and return home at 1pm. Manny is laying in bed. Doesn't greet me. I bought a bunch of food from the store, things the vet, Thor, and other friends have suggested I try with him. I decide to try milk mixed with chicken baby food. He sniffs it and turns away. I fill the syringe after wrapping him in a blanket and holding him close to me. He tucks his head into my neck and stops purring. I manage to give 10mL of this mixture over the course of the hour until suddenly he lets out a very loud howl and tells me to let him go urgently. He returns to his litter box. He's more affectionate with me than yesterday and lets me touch and pick him up. I think he knows I'm trying to help. If only he would just eat. I feel like I'm watching my cat give up. Like he's just going to starve to death. I'm trying all different things. I can't make him interested in food again. I dissolve an appetite stimulant in water and administer it via syringe. Not sure where tonight will lead. I'll try and feed him again later, before I go to bed.

It's a very painful and difficult thing to think about losing a pet that's been with you for 14 years. He's my little baby. I pray that he starts to eat. That's all he needs is to eat.

Jules :'O(

Something new, overcoming fears

2012-01-08T17:27:00.000-08:00

Always stopping me was the "intimidation factor", I like to call it. The uncertainty felt when you want to try something new but you're not sure whether you're capable of it or not, have the endurance to see it through, wondering whether you'll look stupid and what other people will think of you if you get it wrong.

I've wondered about it for at least a year. Longer, I think. Possibly almost 2 years and today I finally took the step to go try it. They were offering a free class. Come see if you like it.

Bikram Hot Yoga.

What an awesome and enlightening experience it was. Everything was accepting, calming, soothing, challenging, and cleansing. The people were welcoming and encouraging. They call them "Yogis". I guess I might be on my way to becoming a Yogi, because I loved the whole challenge of it all and felt so lifted and soothed and proud of myself for completing the challenge once I was done that I signed up for their 2 week unlimited package. $20 gets me what I figure will be 9 sessions. That's a tremendous savings. It's 9 for the price of 1. I'd say 10 sessions, and I'd go Monday thru Friday for the next two weeks, but tomorrow I have a previous engagement with my cat and the vet at 9:00 and I hope to speak to SSD after that. So in 9 sessions, I will decide whether I will remain a Yogi or not.

Sweat. The sweat is INSANE. It literally just pours out of your body and puddles on the mat. You go into this long rectangular room and are literally just an elbow's distance from your fellow Yogi's mat. The room is kept at +40C, I believe. It's hot and humid. There are ceiling fans, but they barely even touch you. You're instructed to lay on your back and breathe until class begins.

3 Breathing exercises, and a collective drink of water. Silence. Nothing but the sound of breathing and the instructor's encouraging words to make you reach and stretch to your maximum ability. Standing poses are the first 40 minutes after breathing. It requires absolute dedication and concentration, and the use of your entire body. It's amazing. A 2 minute break, then all floor poses. You'd think that it'd be easier laying down, but it's just as challenging. Thankfully there's a "dead pose" in between each for about 30 seconds to gather yourself and ready for the next pose. Drink water by sips only, in between poses if you must. Sit and breathe if you feel dizzy. Do only what you can.

Nobody cared that I couldn't hold all the poses for the required amount of time. It's very difficult. And your entire body is covered in its own salty water. It makes it nearly impossible to keep a hold of the ankles, feet.. even the hands are sweaty.

At the end, the lights go off and you stay in the room until you're ready to move. A refreshing shower and people sitting in the common area, smiling... a collective of individuals of all ability levels, all pleased with themselves for making it through. Only one woman walked out, after about 70 minutes of the 90 minute routine.

"Hi, I'm Sabrina... maybe I'll see you again here?"
I say: "Yes! I'm going to buy the 2 weeks, and come to the morning class, it's the only one that works with my schedule. It's nice to meet you!"
"Was this your first time doing yoga?", Sabrina asks.
I reply, "Yes, it was... any real yoga, that is, aside from a bit of 5 minute warm up prior to other workouts."
She says, "Well, you did really great!" and then an older more advanced lady chimes in: "Yes, you both did and congratulations! This is a very difficult yoga to do. Great job!"

I went there feeling totally overwhelmed, scared, intimidated, shy, and unsure about being seen in such little workout clothes. I left there feeling acceptance, accomplishment and a sense of renewal.

I think I loved it.
I know I liked it....
Time will tell if I'll be a Yogi or not.

Jules :Owow!

Bollywood's "Don 2" was fantastic!

2012-01-07T23:57:00.001-08:00

Don 2 was so many things. It was exciting, tantalizing, fun, cute in some parts, smart, witty, full of action, twisty and turny, beautifully produced...

... and DAMN sexy. So sexy my panties were wet when I left the theatre, making me wish Thor was back home to welcome me in all my horny glory.

They wouldn't let me take the cardboard cutout home with me, so my sis and I had our way with it before we left. If there hadn't have been video cameras and people present I'm pretty sure I would have bared my chest and rubbed it ..........

Wait... where was I? I got lost in a little daydream there. Maybe not being able to purchase the cutout was the best thing.

Eff sakes. That is one ~~seriously sextastic man~~ outstanding individual. I could just watch him on the big screen all day. Even though Bollywood doesn't have any sex in it, this was sort of akin to me sitting through a 3 hour porn. At least, it had the same effect. It's time to go play and then fall into a blissful sleep.

Jules :Ommm)

familiar tune?

2012-01-06T09:05:00.004-08:00

From the brain of a 6 year old boy:

Old McDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O...
And on that farm he had some nuts, E-I-E-I-O...
With a pee-pee here and a pee-pee there...
Here a pee, there a pee, everywhere a pee-pee...
Old McDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O

I'm so thankful that my son still thinks his "nuts" are only for peeing.

Jules :Ophewph!

Hmmm...

2012-01-05T16:47:00.002-08:00

Wow.
Got any thoughts on this? The lyrics couldn't be more spot on. Not sure when this song came out, but I just heard it on the radio.

Thought since they made it specifically for me, I should post it.
It's about time someone wrote a song about my life... well, it's not about me at all, is it?
"Hey Julie" by Fountains of Wayne.

Jules :Olala

:O?

2012-01-04T20:44:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure that I'm really all that funny or witty anymore. I read back through old blog posts of mine and I laugh at the stupid and funny things I'd say. These days, I'm not so sure I've got it anymore. I mostly just ramble on about serious or touching things... very occasionally I'll talk about my vibrator usage or something that struck me funny while I was out and about. But mostly I've become just a great big sap, no?

What say? Do I make any of you giggle from time to time still? Am I worthwhile reading? Or have I become boring?

Jules :O?

warmth and numbness

2012-01-04T14:50:00.001-08:00

Well, I don't know what I did.. maybe pinched some nerve somewhere or something... but my left pinky fingertip is numb today. I don't even think it's been all day. Just since like 1pm. It's sort of weird to have a fingertip be numb.

I wonder if it at all corresponds with the spot just below my left shoulder blade that for about 6 months now has been experiencing a tingling sensation. On and off... and unpredictably. Likely not though.

Today's outside temperature is +13C (or 55F). It's January 4th. Being outside was almost like short sleeve shirt weather. There's not even a wind up here in Central Alberta. Southern Alberta is experiencing an extreme wind event of 110km/h (about 70mph). But here it's calm, very warm and I think that if this keeps up I'll be experiencing spring fever. Again... it's January 4th. I took my son skating today and there were literally puddles on the ice surface. By tomorrow grass will be showing through the outdoor rinks in spots... on January 4th.

Is it safe to say that Canada is no longer the land of igloos and sub zero temperatures? Possibly NOT host to the worst winters imaginable?

Well, I don't think I'd go so far as to say that exactly, because I'm sure we'll have some deep freeze spells still. We've got 3 months of winter to deal with just about still. But I'm sure enjoying this. And it's keeping the roads driveable, which is a total advantage in many ways. It keeps Thor within reach better, it reduced cabin fever, it makes new release Bollywood films in Edmonton or Calgary more accessible......

That's it for now. I have to go play.

Jules :Oj

Fun Times Over New Years

2012-01-03T21:46:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to everyone, albeit a couple of days late. I was preoccupied with more important things than blogging over the last few days as it was a fun family holiday with Thor home.

I really enjoy the times when Thor and I are together, with other family members or without. We're great in a social atmosphere as well as on our own, enjoying a quiet evening together. Something I really love about him is his sense of adventure and fun. He's always up for a laugh, or trying something new. This weekend we did go skiing, which was pretty great, but we also strapped on pairs of skates which neither one of us had done in a VERY long time, as well as checking out the local sledding hill and commandeering Thanan's snow-donut (which I think we popped when we decided to go down the hill on it together).

What's awesome about it is that he makes everything look like so much fun I can't help but want to join in. A couple of times I muttered out loud (but to myself) "wow, he's amazing!", and got a few weird looks from strangers who happened to hear me. You just can't help but want to become a part of the experience. Maybe I've always had that *I'll try just about anything* characteristic inside of me, but he seems to just bring it out a bit more.

So I'd say that the overall word of the weekend was "fun". Fun playing games, visiting, skating, skiing, sledding... and a load full of giggles and good times even when we were having a quiet evening in.

Today Thanan said to me "Because you know mom.. Thor IS just like a kid...." I nodded and smiled in agreement. I thought it was a sweet thing for a 6 year old to say, especially because I think it means Thanan's saying he can relate to Thor as much as I can (even though it's on an entirely different level).

I hope that you all had someone to welcome 2012 with.. someone who makes you smile and laugh and want relive things from your past. Someone you treasure and adore. Someone who brings out the best in you as much as you do to them. Blessings for a wonderful two-thousand-and-twelve to you all.

Jules :O)

When something inappropriate happens...

2011-12-29T15:09:00.000-08:00

When all hell breaks lose and you feel like you're totally going to snap remember to do two things first...

Have a stiff drink...
... and just breathe.

Then if you're still f*cking mad (disappointed, angry, embarrassed and confused) go ahead and raise your voice, because it must be something to really be upset about at that point.

.. Today I couldn't do the stiff drink thing until I got home, so I did these out of order. I breathed, I yelled, and now I'm going to go have a shot of liquor.

Then I'll pray that I can just let it all go...........

Jules >8O(

Blessings.

2011-12-27T11:08:00.001-08:00

Not from some random circulating email... just from my heart to yours:

To those who are lost, I pray you find your way.
To those who have love, I pray that you fully embrace it.
To those who have children, I pray that you treasure them.
To those who are single, I pray that you never feel alone.
To those who are wealthy, I pray that you share your wealth.
To those who are rich in kindness, I pray that you teach others.
To those who are struggling in health, I pray that you are given relief.
To those who have lost meaning, I pray you find it again.
To those who have belongings, I pray that you express gratitude.
To those who are struggling with anger, I pray that you find peace within.
To those who have little, I pray that you realize you have more than you think.
To those who have health, I pray that you realize how lucky you are.
To those who are in relationships, I pray that you never take your partner for granted.

To one and to all, I pray for the best possible life for you, now and in the New Year.

Love Jules

Happiness comes in all forms

2011-12-26T09:00:00.000-08:00

I had a dream a while ago on a weekend off, after I returned to sleep at 7am. I dreamed that I was at a ski race, and Thor was about to race down. He skied and ended up making the podium. I guess it was some sort of professional ski race, instead of recreational...? Anyway, he got to the bottom and because he did so well it was being spotlighted on tv. I jumped over the barrier and ran up to hug him and he gave me this "I've accomplished my life goal" look. Still wearing one ski, but having taken off one, the crowd going crazy.. tv still filming, he knelt down and said to me "Jules, one of my dreams has come true, now I need to take care of one final thing to complete my life..." as he reached into his racing suit and withdrew a ring for me. "Will you be my wife?" I fell to my knees, matching his level, looked deep into his eyes and a tear ran down my cheek.

I'd like to say it was a happy ending, but it was literally left open for interpretation at that point, I woke up. I'm not sure if I said yes or not. But I do know I was left with this really delighted feeling after waking up from that.

It was one of those dreams that you don't forget quickly. It's been a few weeks since I dreamed it and still clearly remember it. I hope it sticks with me for a while longer. It makes me happy.

Jules :Osigh)

2011-12-23T12:39:00.002-08:00

Merry Christmas To All

This is the newest addition to my *seasonal snowman fetish*... he sits upon my tree's branches all gleeful and looking a bit psychedelic in his 60's colors. He's really cute, I think. Plus, I love his scarf and wish I had one like it in my size. I'd look a little bit stupid borrowing his though. He's a bit of a ladies snowman. There's this one other little chicky that I hear him flirting with on the tree when he thinks I'm not paying attention.

He was $6. Really broke the bank. Not all things that bring happiness need to be expensive! However, having said that, I added up this year's total cost and I seriously can't believe how much this season has cost me (including Thanan's birthday). It's really good that I start buying gifts in the summer or there's no way I'd afford this time of year.

I hope you all experience some sort of deep profound joy this holiday season and bring in the new year with a positive outlook on life and love. Say hi to a stranger before the New Year. Guaranteed it will make you both feel good and smile.

Love Jules xo

Ok. New Blogger Template is Weird. Here's some music.

2011-12-21T15:38:00.000-08:00

Two totally unrelated songs to share with you today. The first one, I just love. And even though it's not at all a Christmas song, it comes to mind this time of year. However... reflect on the meaning of the song... we're never truly lost, there are angels guiding us. I love that.

Angels Among Us - Alabama

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now THIS one, I used to sing when I sang a lot in high school. I never had anyone to really sing it to in high school, but there was just something about it that I loved. So I sang it over and over again. It was fun to remember it recently and sing it nice and loud at home. Even Thanan liked it.

Brand New Key - Melanie Safka

Jules :Olala

the view

2011-12-19T20:20:00.004-08:00

I'm not sure what's up with blogger, but I have no ability to format anything. I just have a spell check button, an image upload button and a "preview" link. Hmmm.

Today I went skiing for the 3rd time this season. For living in Alberta, we really haven't had much snow this winter, so far... and on one hand, I'm fine with that because the roads haven't been all that bad here. On the other hand, it makes for a bit of a challenge when trying to find snow and tracks to ski on.

I got tired of just scratching the surface of the one inch base at most and I looked over toward the golf course and saw what looked like really great snow. So I detoured through the trees, and decided to cut my own tracks. It was worth it, even though I thought I'd never get back to my car at one point.

I had to avoid the water hazards and I fell into a sand trap and narrowly avoided skiing right through another one. Carefully plotting my course, I eventually ended up hooking up with another set of tracks that someone else had done and managed to make my way back to known territory.

Actually, even though the skiing surface was mediocre at best and I fell, I still had a really great workout and a nice time out there. Swish, swish, swish... pshh, pshhh, psshhhh, tweet tweet, skitter scatter, fwooosh.

This was where I cut my own tracks through the golf course.

This was where they normally groom the trails, but it was only half groomed, due to the lack of depth of snow. Sometimes there were tracks, then they'd just disappear. Still, beautiful, I thought.

The golf course from the edge looking east, I think.. I didn't have a compass. And even if I did, I wouldn't know how to use it.

Jules :O)

La la la la.... I actually can sing, did you know?

2011-12-14T15:05:00.003-08:00

Sometimes I'm totally overcome with the urge to sing (ok, more than sometimes). This time of year I actually am inclined to sing Christmas Carols in my home and in my car... wherever it strikes me. The other day I sang Silent Night to my grade 2 lunchroom supervision class. They looked at me in awe... 44 little eyes on me. Until my voice cracked on the word All (as in 'all is calm, all is bright'). I quickly recovered though and they were left in awe again by the end of the verse.

Today on the way to pick up Rocey, this song came on the radio, but it was a male/female duet and it was so beautiful it gave me shivers. I didn't realize how much I liked this particular song until I heard this version today. Picture me at my computer once I got home, with the speakers plugged into the surround sound and me belting out the lyrics at the top of my lungs, as it played on YouTube. Rocey loved it, I loved it, Thanan thought it was boring. LOL Everyone's a critic.

Christmas music has it's time in the year and it's place. It's Thanan's Christmas Concert tonight so I'm really excited about going to see the performance of both him and my grade 2's. :) But by the time New Year's comes, I'm sure I'll be sick of carols and looking forward to regular music again.

Usually my favorite Christmas carol is O' Holy Night. When Thanan was born it was near the beginning of December so I was well into listening to carols by the time he entered the world. I would rock with him in his bedroom, holding him in my arms and gently lull him to sleep with the lyrics of that song. He was, after all, my own little miracle baby. I think we have the ability to remember things from our infancy (if we try hard enough or are blessed with a good memory), because at the Festival of Trees this year, sitting with Thor and Thanan, the artist on stage began to sing this carol and Thanan whispered to me "Mom! This is your favorite Christmas song, isn't it?"

It warmed my heart.

Jules :Olalala!

Tub Chronicles

2011-12-12T21:08:00.004-08:00

So I laid there.

Bubbles enveloping my entire body, as I sunk down deep into the hot water. I could feel my skin tingle as each little microscopic container of captive air released against me. It tingled almost to the point of being uncomfortable. Could bubbles really cause pain, I wondered? Or is this just what it feels like to be totally caught up in the moment and feeling nothing else? Devoting yourself to the feeling of that which touches you can be an enlightening experience, if given an honest try, I decided.

I sat up slightly, letting the top half of my face hover above the bubbles. But they had attached themselves to me and had followed me up above their natural habitat. Some of them lived around my ears. I let myself give way to them, listening only to their musical rhythm, as if I was holding my ear to a fresh bowl of Rice Krispies. They crackled and snapped just so, as they battled against one another for the dark cavern that led to my eardrum, as if to be in competition for the prettiest *pop*.

Lost. Swept away in the bubbles, I found myself once again. I love to live there, if even only for a few moments. Their happy melody soothes my frenzied soul and make me pause and appreciate the simplicity that life can be, if given the chance.

....... and if that was all too boring for you to read through... here's a photo of myself that I couldn't help but attempt at capturing after I left the bubbles behind .....

I wish my eyes were that big and beautifully shaped in real life.

Jules :Oi

i'm late and i can't do anything about it

2011-12-12T19:40:00.002-08:00

Ahhh, goodness me. I don't know where life is flying off to in such a hurry.

Chances are highly likely that you won't be receiving Christmas cards from me on or before the 25th this year. I haven't written them up yet and it will be very slow snail mailing them out. I'll do the best I can, but please don't be upset if they come to you around New Years this year!

I'm really feeling overly hectic and rushed and pulled in every which way lately. For about a month now. I feel a bit like I'm on the verge of blowing my top, but just when I think that might happen, I manage to find a way to calm down. Largely due to talking to Thor at the end of the day, nearly every single day and falling asleep to the sound of his I love you's. That definitely helps. Still... every day finds a way of making me a little bit edgy. Sometimes a lot edgy.

So for now...

It's bath time.

Bath time with bubbles.

Jules :Oj

When half is missing, it just can't be seen as complete.

2011-12-05T20:37:00.004-08:00

ARGHHHH!!!

So frustrating when you have this really cool thing, but you need this other really cool thing to complete it and you can't get your hands on it no matter how hard you try.

I just can't settle for sub-par on this one. It has to be just exactly the thing I'm looking for. I hope I can find it and get my hands on it in time. I shall henceforth make this my mission. Nothing else matters until I can complete this.

Without it, the other half is just incomplete.

Jules :O?!

find it... catch it... hold it close.

2011-12-03T21:13:00.006-08:00

It was a really REALLY windy day up above. But down below next to the river, among the forest and the still free flowing water, it was calm and peaceful and serene. I glided along quite clumsily for my first time of the season.. no tracks provided for me and having to cut in my own. Wobbly, uncoordinated, happy to be alone in the moment so I didn't have to feel silly about not being "good" at what I was doing, I just tuned out trying to be perfect and found what I was looking for in the rhythm and movement that I was capable of. A happy little squirrel flittered past me on the ground and ran under a fallen tree. I whispered "be well, squirrel" at it as I passed it by. The birds happily sung their chorus in the swaying trees. I turned my ear in their direction as I momentarily closed my eyes and lived in these moments of harmony. The branches moaned and creaked under the pressure of the windy fury. I absorbed their thick throaty complaints as they spoke out loud. The zesty whirrrr of the skis as they ran across and through both fresh and icy snow. I let the vibrations roll through my body and heat my muscles with each challenge in terrain presented to me. A few minutes in, I took off my skis and snapped a few shots with my camera because it was just so beautiful.

The photos are for you all to enjoy, but who gave me this gift? The ability to become so enthusiastic about being immersed in nature this time of year in this way?

This smile is for YOU.

Jules :Owow!

Memories....

2011-12-03T20:48:00.002-08:00

You can read the lyrics here.

Jules :O*

back to the craft...

2011-11-30T18:16:00.002-08:00

Thanan wanted to learn how to do some origami, so naturally, I said I'd love to teach him something. The only problem was that I'd long ago returned the origami books to the library, and origami is a bit like a language.. if you don't use it, you lose it.

Thanks to the net, I located a Christmas tree design that was simple enough for both him and I to do. I didn't have any traditional origami paper, nor did I have any really Christmas themed paper, but I think our Christmas trees turned out super well anyway!! We loved it so much we made 3 each, our own little Christmas forest. Surrounding it all with my collection of snowmen makes them seem more suitable for Christmas.

Thanan loved them so much he decided he wants to do them as a craft at his birthday party. So I think I'll go get some Christmas scrapbook paper. I'd buy Origami paper, but it just seems to come in those tiny squares. I'd rather have the flexibility to make something larger if I want.

So cute.

Jules :O)

realizations... the deep side of Jules.. a rarity

2011-11-29T20:48:00.004-08:00

What better way to spend a weekend than wrapped in love?

I got sick on Saturday though. Thor and I were walking through Walmart looking for gifts and all of a sudden I fell ill. I got flushed from head to toe, instantly nauseous, dizzy and almost blacked out. Suddenly I stopped and grabbed a hold of him and said "I'm not... feeling well" as I choked back the urge to heave and took a deep breath in hopes I wouldn't faint.

My dad, as wise as he is, told me once "It isn't love until you've both seen each other sick as dogs and you still want to be around them." It went something like that anyway.

Thor was totally doting and concerned and literally didn't take his eyes off me for the rest of the day and night. Tending to me like I was the only thing that mattered on earth. "I'm not leaving tomorrow if you're still sick... I just am NOT leaving you like this." He cooked for me, catered to me, wrapped me up in a blanket and rubbed my feet.. all the while watching me to make sure I wasn't getting worse. He never left my side. I'll never forget him sitting on the floor at the side of the couch just to be nearer to me and catch me if I should fall, his stunning eyes looking up at me with deep concern.

.... Even when I had become near to death with my bleeding lung issues, back in the day of the ex, I was not doted on. I was not made to feel like I was the most important thing on the planet once I was home and recuperating. I had nearly died.. no exaggeration.. twice. And I wasn't given this kind of attention once I was home. Maybe the ex didn't know how to express it, or maybe he just didn't want to.

I really can't get over the wonderfulness that is Thor.

He must really love me.

It's difficult for me to accept that I am THAT important to a person. My whole married life I spent begging for attention, married but alone, always in competition with "the games". Asking for a companion that just didn't see me.. who pushed me away and created a distance between us that would span the earth 4 times over. It conditioned me to the idea that men don't value women and that they don't think they are important enough to spend time with, have fun with, adore... They are just people who cook and clean, give a blow job every now and then, and provide men with babies. This is how I felt about my marriage, despite how many times I'd try and pull his attention away from gaming and back into the real world. I had been conditioned like this for all of my married years. I didn't feel important in that relationship. But I was a kid when it all started, really. What did I know.

So on the weekends that I spend with Thor, where I catch him looking at me in adoration, where I hear his love when he speaks to me, where he wants to get out and do things with me and my family, where it's evident that he longs for me and lusts after me, where he expresses how lucky he is that I'm in his life... it really takes me aback. But in the best way possible.

I'm in training. Although I think we all are always in "relationship training". Training to know how a real healthy relationship works and what it looks and feels like. I think I do a good job of offering love and respect, and I'm starting to understand what it's like to receive it as well. It's different. But the more I feel it and experience it, the more I want of it.

I'm starting to be uncomfortable now with that "distance" my ex taught me was the reality. I'm really starting to crave togetherness. More and more of my time is spent fantasizing about being together than accepting that we have to be apart. It feels a little bit scary sometimes, devoting myself to another man... one who treats me just right... thinking long term commitment and wondering if it will all be a better life.

But with Thor, I know .. I KNOW that it would be a wonderful life. Not just a better one, but a really superb one.

My dreams have been telling me to trust in relationships again, to accept the love and live for that and I'm ready now.

So what's next?

Jules :Oj

well rounded.. funny, cute, smart message....

2011-11-27T19:00:00.002-08:00

I stumbled upon the fact that I subscribe to Animal Planet, so on and off through the weekend I was watching programs from that channel. Normally I don't pay much attention to commercials, but this one really caught my attention:

And then I got to looking at the rest of their commercials of this sort and came across this one, having to do with cycling, so of course I thought I'd post it as well.

Clever, I think.

Jules :Oj

Rated R for sexual content

2011-11-24T13:14:00.003-08:00

Seriously?

I came home today to my voice mail light flashing on my phone. So I dialed in and went to retrieve the message laying in wait and here's what I got... no word of a lie, this is the message that was left for me:

"...Pussy Dahling... I wanna lick your PUSSY... I wana fuck you.. MWAH" in some distant accent.

So naturally I listened to it again to make sure I wasn't hearing things and sure enough, that's what it says. You can hear other people talking in the background, as if it's at a telemarketing place of some sort.

Here I am thinking that this employee is totally on the verge of LOSING IT COMPLETELY and that he's just asking to be fired! Imagine if someone overheard him leaving that message? Someone of authority? He wouldn't even say anything. He'd just hand the guy a box and point to the door.

I wonder what the conversation would have gone like had I been home to answer the phone...

---------------------------------

Me: Hello?

Him: Hi Ma'am...

Me: Hello stranger from a long distance away...

Him: I uhhh.. I am calling.... to.. uhhh...

Me: Is something wrong? What can I do for you?

Him: Soooo sorry Lady... you're voice is so distractingly beautiful that I am having a hard time to overcome this boner I am producing in my pants currently and I've forgotten why I've called...

---------------------------------

Like really. If my happy voice mail message is THAT much of a turn on that you start to salivate and get a boner just from listening to me say leave a message, there's something seriously lacking in your life, Mr. Telemarketer.

The number that shows up on my phone is 000-000-0000, by the way. So I can't even trace it.

Strange?

Funny thing is that I don't find it all that insulting. I think it's more comedic than anything else! I think I'll have Thor listen to it when he gets here tonight and we'll have a good chuckle. LOL

Jules :Op

that's something to write home about...

2011-11-21T17:00:00.005-08:00

Do you ever just feel like being totally and completely open on your blog without having to worry about censoring yourself for fear of who will read it or what people will say?

Sometime I want to just write a sex story and publish it on here. I've written them before, just as an outlet for pent up *energy*, but of course I've never put them on here. My uncle reads my blog, I am told. LOL

I just composed one very recently. It was really hot. I bet it could have been published in a sex magazine. Could you imagine something I've written being published in a magazine for millions of people to get off on? Hahahaha... That'd be cool.

Oops. Apparently I've lost my head and probably should begin censorship right now.

Jules :OD

Meh.

2011-11-18T19:02:00.004-08:00

Genuine excitement.

It sort of eludes me.

I smile and laugh quite a bit in my life. I get very happy when I see someone I haven't seen in a while who warms my heart. I am enthusiastic enough when I need to be about something.

But genuine excitement... for some reason that's a rarity for me.

My sis called me up the other night and was beside herself with enthusiasm and excitement (literally) because she found out the IIFA's will be in Vancouver in 2013 and she called to tell me my June 2013 is considered booked. Now considering the amount of fun I had at the IIFA's in Toronto this year, you would think I'd also be massively stoked about this news. But I was moderately happy about it instead.

My son is doing sooo well in school this year. He's gotten 100% on 3 of his tests so far and one 90%. This surely would be something you'd think I'd be overly enthusiastic and completely beaming with pride about. While I am really pleased with him, and obviously very proud, I am not all like wanting to shout it from the rooftops or anything. I didn't even call the "grand 'rents" to tell them. Hell, I didn't even call his dad to let him know. I do make a huge deal of it to him, and I sound excited and impressed when I do it so he feels great about his accomplishments, but inside I'm not as emotive as I express on the outside.

I guess I was thrilled with seeing Ra.One. But was I genuinely thrilled? Or was I just playing the part that was expected of me? How does one decipher the code?

Let's see.

Having an easy bowel movement makes me happy, but doesn't excite me.
Losing a pound makes me feel justified in all my hard work, but doesn't create an abundance of enthusiasm.
Helping someone makes me feel quite good inside, but I'm not bouncing out the door with joy once we've parted ways.
Seeing my boyf makes my heart skip and my stomach flitter, and maybe that's about as close to genuine excitement as I get.

What am I missing in my life? Why am I not excited about it? Happy moments are good. Fun times make life go by faster. Exploring new things and new places makes life interesting. There are rewards to learning things, making new discoveries and accomplishments. But essentially, I don't feel like there's anything to be all that excited about.

Maybe I was born without an "excited" button.

I'd love to have something in my life to be 100% completely overjoyed about again. It's been too long since I've felt that way.

Jules :O(

a little girl, I once was... full of innocence and love.

2011-11-16T20:19:00.003-08:00

A childhood story. That's what the request was. Little did they know that for some reason, where my childhood memories should be exists this giant black void with only little snippets of times shared and things done.

I could talk about my personality. But honestly, I was outgoing, fun, friendly, popular, pretty, active and flirty. Nothing's really changed there.

How about this one. When I was in grade 4 I spent every other night at my mom's feet in the livingroom. The tv would be on or the radio would be playing and I'd be fresh out of the bath. I'd have on my housecoat overtop of my jammies and I'd be holding a handful of pony tail holders. She'd just sit there, talking to me about my day, dividing my hair into sections to braid so that I could sleep with about a dozen wet braids and wake up with pretty long kinked hair in the mornings. Mother-Daughter time doesn't get much better than that.

Or there were the times when we'd go visit my mom's best friend and she and Murielle would sit there in the kitchen and play guitar and I would sit on the floor and sing "The Rose", or "Fraulein" as they played while the moon shone over us. I guess I just picked up the lyrics from listening to the on tape or from my mom teaching them to me with the melodies. I still love to sing today.. though with various things having happened to my lungs and my throat, I don't really have the ability to sing like I used to.

Or how about when I was a kid, my parents were divorced and I recall countless numbers of trips my father would make from Vegreville to Athabasca or Lacombe to pick us up. The countless trips meant countless conversations with my sister and my dad in the vehicle on the way back to his house and on the way home. We'd talk about boys alot. We talked about drugs and other peer pressures. Dad said to me "I don't care if you want to try drugs, but you have to do me one favor first. Before you try anything at all, I want you to read the book "Go Ask Alice" and then you can decide whether drugs are something you want to try or not." I read that book and I never touched a drug. Still haven't to this day (aside from alcohol). When I read it, I didn't know it was fiction. The writing seemed real and probable. So I learned from it.

You know... I might have come from a "broken home" but I sure felt loved and I never felt like I was broken at all.

Maybe some other time I'll tell you the sorts of shenanigans I got myself into sneaking out late at night. Or maybe not. My mom reads my blog from time to time. ;p

Jules :Oj

tell me

2011-11-15T21:39:00.002-08:00

I dunno.

You tell me what to write about next.

Give me a topic. I'll see what I can do.

Jules :O?

nice try, 'scope writers

2011-11-14T19:31:00.003-08:00

Cancer

June 22 - July 22

Indulge your sensual nature today. This part of your being doesn't get expressed regularly. Go for a long walk with someone you love. Light some candles in your bedroom or take a leisurely hot bath. Tastes and smells are extra potent for you now. Enjoy a romantic dinner for two. Don't get so caught up in the intellectual aspect of things that you forget about the sensuous side of life.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok.. first of all.. BWAHAHAHAHA! My sensual side doesn't get expressed regularly? Eff sakes. That couldn't be more wrong. It doesn't get INDULGED with a partner as regularly as I'd like, but it sure does get EXPRESSED (and *singular indulgence* occurs probably too often).

I'm not going for a long walk tonight. The temperature is fine but the windchill is -1000.

I think I have either a cold or the flu coming on and I spent most of the day nauseous. So taste and smell are insignificant to me today. My stomach has been gurgling and outrightly growling at me viciously all day non-stop. I don't know if it's requesting food or telling me to stay away from it.

How do I enjoy a romantic dinner for two if my boyf lives in a different country?

I don't think I've ever been accused of being more intellectual than sensual.. although I can hold my own in certain conversations that aren't sex related as well... believe it or not.

The only point I won't dispute in today's horoscope is the leisurely hot bath. That's exactly where I'm heading right as soon as I hit the publish button.

Funny how sometimes horoscopes can be exactly right, and then other times they couldn't be more laughable.

Jules :Oj

The story of Spunky

2011-11-13T20:07:00.008-08:00

Thor gave me this stuffed animal mountain goat the first time we spent together after a wonderful day at West Glacier National Park. The last stop before heading back to Flathead Lake that day took us to the Lake MacDonald Lodge (I think that's what it's called) and he just couldn't resist buying it for me. What a sweet gesture, I thought then. I decided to name him Spunky.

Since then, Spunky has come with me wherever I've traveled. You'd be surprised what a good travelling companion a stuffed animal can be. They don't require food or pee breaks, and they don't talk your ear off.. yet they provide you with an outlet to talk out loud and not feel completely insane for talking to yourself.

Most recently, Spunky joined me at the Rosslyn Inn & Suites on the trip to Edmonton to see Ra.One. He guarded my bed and waited patiently for me to come back. I'd have taken him with me to the theater but I didn't want him to get jealous of me drooling over Shah on the big screen.

Last summer Spunky came with Thor and I on our camping trip through Washington, Idaho and Montana. Here he is sleeping in late, reading a book and guarding my watch while Thor and I have gone off kayaking.

Spunky really is a bed goat. He's a bit lazy and loves to play in the covers after everyone else has gotten out of bed in the morning. Here he is in the camper again, refusing to make the bed until he'd had his morning cup of coffee.

This one was taken at the Village Country Inn in Radium Hot Springs where we like to stay when we go there. He really made good friends with this bird. Between the two of them, they kept us up all night chattering away.

I've taken Spunky to Montreal, Toronto, and all the places I've gone this year. Spokane, Missoula, Flathead Lake, various camping locations in the States, all the places around Alberta. He's seen lots and been great company. He's really reassuring and comforting after those super hard departures too. I haven't gotten to the point where I tote him around in my purse. I won't ever be that strange. But he does keep me company and act as a good guard goat. I even sleep with him. I took this one photo (which I can't find) with him stuck in my cleavage as I was falling asleep one night. I can't seem to locate that photo though.

The last time we were at Radium, Spunky worked up the nerve to ask this little beauty out. They spent the whole night together on the shelf. I can't blame him. She's awfully pretty, and obviously good at saving money, a very desirable trait in a partner. Smart goat.

Anyway. That's something you didn't know about me. Think I'm totally weird now?

Jules :O)

25 things

2011-11-11T23:01:00.002-08:00

5 likes:

Health and fitness
Love and acceptance
Family and loved ones
Feeling sexy, desirable and needed
Interpersonal energies

5 dislikes:

Late people and being late
Popcorn kernels stuck in my gums
Sandpaper skin
People who think they're better than everyone else
Gaming (online, computer, game console)

5 oddities about me:

I always have my toenails polished but painting my fingernails makes me feel claustrophobic
If given the choice, and weather permits, I'd choose eating outside on a picnic blanket any day
I am capable of feeling totally fulfilled and completely empty at the same moment in time
I am an emotional absorber.. I adopt how other people feel whether I want to or not
Everyday I have to suppress multiple urges to do or say inappropriate things with people I know and with strangers

5 things I wish:

To be in the arms of my lover every night
For people to be more accepting, open minded and non-judgemental
To raise a well rounded son
For more sugar free snack foods
That I could make more people happy

5 things I like to do:

Enjoy outdoor activities - biking hiking walking running gardening visiting :)
Sleep and dream
Talk dirty and make love
Be clean
Get filthy in the yard or garden

So there you go. Now you know some more things about me.

Still like me?

Jules :O?

Random summer pics

2011-11-10T16:04:00.007-08:00

This post has no rhyme, reason or order. It's just some random photos from the summer. All of them taken during some "fun family time" here or there.

A view from the top of Wildhorse Island looking down to see one of the sailboats racing on Flathead Lake can be seen here...

Some Coca-Cola spilled on my trusty car trunk blanket here...

I had a really cool morning coffee in this bus turned coffee place with a good friend here...

I thoroughly enjoyed a spontaneous trip to the lake with my son, I'm watching him here...

5 minutes before a storm, the lighting at this pond near my house was really intriguing.. the geese look like they're floating here...

A rainbow of colors on this massively tall slide at the carnival when it came to the city.. the view from the top here...

A love/hate romance.

2011-11-08T18:24:00.006-08:00

Britney Spears... Criminal.

I guess I love to hate her and her music. This song released several weeks ago and I just can't seem to get it out of my head. I think it's the low low bass that draws me in and keeps me there..? I'd love to just ride the amp that is blasting this song and feel the smooth vibrations pulse through me.

I dislike the lyrics, actually, and it slightly disturbs me that my son loves this song as well... but there's just something about the melody of it, the chords... I just love listening to it turned way way up. Maybe it appeals to the little naughty woman inside of me.

Turn up your speakers. But if kids are in the room, dismiss them. The video is rated R. The first minute or so is just background theatrics. Music starts after she kicks him in the nuts.

He can't be all THAT bad... he rescues her, serves her coffee in bed, kisses her forehead and they have hot showers together. There's SOME good in a guy like that, right???

Jules 8O)

My Ra.One Experience... finally!!!

2011-11-07T15:35:00.003-08:00

I went to Edmonton with my Didiji on the weekend and we watched Ra.One... Shah Rukh Khan's newest Hindi film.

OH. MY. GOD. was it EVER fantastic!!!

If you're just curious about Bollywood and want to try it on for size, this movie would be an excellent starter movie for you. It's not so much Bollywood as it is just a superb action flick with wonderful CGI and special effects, spoken largely in English and subtitled nicely for the parts that aren't.... and it's in 3D! SRK, Kareena Kapoor and Arjun Rampal, and little Armaan Verma popping out at you in larger than life display. Not to mention all the other people in the movie. It was just spectacular!

This movie wasn't just action. It had heart too. The story, in my opinion is about two major things. First, it's about the relationship between a father and son and how a father would do anything to gain respect and the love of his son. Secondly, it was about artificial intelligence in the gaming world gone terribly terribly wrong in a battle between good versus evil. (I HATE gaming, but I love this movie because it shows how horrible gaming can be!!)

There really wasn't much romance in this particular bollywood film. There were bits and pieces, just enough to satisfy the womanly hunger for it. There was some serious sex appeal though.. expressed through the song depictions mainly which literally had Shell and I dancing in our seats and singing along. Here's a snippet of "Criminal" from the movie. This was at the launch party for Shekhar's new video game.. little did he know how wrong it would go...

This movie also offered tons of humor. There were many parts of it that sent the audience into fits of laughter, not just giggles, but full out belly laughs. The kind where you almost pee yourself laughing so hard. The first minute of this scene shows G.One (the Good One) dressed up in a bunch of metal to hide the fact that he's a robot, basically... and the goings on that occur between him and the airport security guard just had our theatre literally roaring! You can almost see the guard cum in his pants! LMAO!!!

(sorry for the poor quality, someone obviously filmed it in the theatre.. but you don't need to watch it after the first minute anyway.)

So all in all I give it a 10 out of 10. It was totally comparable to a big blockbuster Hollywood action flick like X-Men or Transformers, etc. Put it beside them and it could hold its own any day and I fully recommend that anyone who is old enough to handle action and read go see this movie. I have nothing bad to say about this movie at all.

Jules :O)

Eager Anticipation

2011-11-03T21:44:00.003-07:00

In less than 2 days I will be sitting in a big theatre watching the 3D version of Ra.One!!!!! OMG. I am just so excited to experience this. I love action movies, I love Hindi film... I love many of the actors... EEEEEEK!!! And in 3D?!!? Wow. WOW!

Here's the official website. Weeeee! I can't wait for Saturday!

Jules :OD

hug me.

2011-11-02T18:54:00.003-07:00

I AM LONELY.

Out of all my waking hours today (16.5), I spent 5 tiny little hours with people, and they were all spread out. I only got to see my son for 3.5 hours today (spread out thin). Other people's kids for 1 hour. My sister for an hour (which you would think makes 5.5 hours, but you're wrong, some of that overlapped). Tried to get together with my mom, she was busy. Almost hooked up with a girlfriend, but then she was pulled away.

This is my normal. Most of you are blessed to be around people at work all day, and usually there's at least one person you enjoy in your workplace. I spend most of my days alone or having short visits with people here and there. Then I am trapped inside my home from 8pm till I go to bed... can't socialize properly with people then.

I crave physical contact with people. Talking on the phone, or through chat or texting... it's all ok and it sometimes does the trick.. but what I really need are face to face visits. Face to face companionship on a daily basis.

I need my best friend here to hang around with all the time for support, friendship, soulful love and physical love.

Shitty thing is that my needs cannot be met.

I'd settle for someone to catch a movie with or have coffee with on an evening when I'm alone.. and lonely.. but only if it's not a scary movie and only if it's decaf.

Guess that's it. Just figured that sometimes it helps to write stuff like this down and press publish.. get my feelings out there.

Reproduction

2011-11-02T15:39:00.005-07:00

"I have a problem, Jules... my silverware is reproducing", she said to me the other day when I was at my girlfriend's house.

Her dad gave her a complete set of 8.

8 knives

8 forks (I can't recall if there were big and little forks)

8 small spoons

8 big spoons

Now suddenly, she is missing several, but has gained several others. I think she said that her last count of little spoons was 10. I can understand some going missing. They have been known to hitchhike to beaches, picnic areas, private getaways, etc. but how do you explain having 10 of the exact same little spoon in your silverware set if not for "dinnerware copulation"?

What DO those little things do behind closed drawers?

What copulates with what? Is it cool for a fork to mingle with a knife? Can big spoons and little spoons make out, or is that considered pedophilia?

I guess I should go see what's going on in my own silverware drawer. It's kind of creepy if you ask me.

Jules :Oj

Boo.. celebrate me turning 1000!

2011-10-31T15:19:00.007-07:00

I have two things to share with you...

THIS IS MY 1000th POST!!! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME!

And....

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

I ended up going as a Spider Web Ghost. That's what it was called on the package. I bought the package, modified it and got a great many compliments. :) My own son didn't even recognize me when I went dressed like this to his school for supervision duty. Hahaha. It was funny.

The kids in the school said I looked:

"... like Lady Gaga"

"... beautiful and smelled good too"

"... really white and ghosty"

"... pretty with long white hair"

"... sort of too spooky"

"... amazing!"

So I'll modify this slightly to stay warmer tonight (I'll wear black yoga pants instead of nylons, and my shiny black knee high boots instead of the dull half calf ones) and I'll take Thanan out trick or treating. Should be fun!

Whether you believe in the whitching hour or not... I hope your October 31st is/was a safe and good one!

Jules :O)

bwahaha

2011-10-30T20:09:00.003-07:00

I guess this must be why some people are inexplicably drawn to nature......

Seriously. You didn't expect me NOT to post this, surely! I stumbled upon it while doing a search on youtube for kettle bell workouts. Go figure.

Which photo was your favorite? Mine is the one of the birch tree that actually looks like a complete woman, from thighs up to head. What an awesome tree. You'd think I'd be all over some of the penis trees.. but that one of the woman is perfect.

Jules :OD

well let's see if I can prove it right then.

2011-10-26T19:26:00.006-07:00

LMAO! I always knew I was young at heart, but apparently I'm young minded as well. I was intrigued by what UrlAI would say about me after reading that it very laughably rated Tys as a female between the ages of 66 - 100 years old. So naturally, I decided to get my own blog analyzed. Here's what it said about my blog:

Text analysis

"vividintellect.blogspot.com is probably written by a female somewhere between 13-17 years old. The writing style is personal and happy most of the time."

HAHA!! Well, at least the part about the personal and happy most of the time is correct.

Incidentally, there are more bullshit stats on their page about my blog and they can be seen here, you know, just for "shits and giggles".

Now lets get down to business. I'm moving onto the personal part of this entry.... nipples.

Well, you know I've been itchy lately. I've come to think it's either an allergy or dry skin. But the point is that while I've managed to find ways of dealing with it in public, there's just those few places that are less acceptable to scratch while hundreds of eyes are on you (because my inflated ego lets believe that there are always that many eyes on me). As a result of this, I've literally had itchy nipps for the past two days off and on. I want to tell you something. An itch left unscratched just festers.

I tried doing the whole discrete rub up against something (or someone).. or just happen to let my hand brush across my nipp in a meek effort to control the problem, but those things just didn't suffice. You'd be surprised at how many odd looks I got at the mall today when I adjusted my boobs inside my bra, let alone if I'd have scratched it. Ya.. people stare at stuff like that, which was unfortunate because I wasn't even trying to draw attention this time.

So I tried ignoring it for the rest of the day, thinking that I'd probably caused some total pervs to have the need to jerk off tonight, which made me oddly uncomfortable (normally I'd be flattered, today I was just creeped out). And as I said, ignoring an itch gets you nowhere. So tonight when I changed into my tank top and released them out of their material prison, I just let loose on my nipples. I just stood there and scratched them. And I did it for like 2 or 3 minutes. Little scratches and larger scratches, harder ones, softer ones... I just had at it. It seems to have done the trick. They're no longer itchy, which is a major deal after fighting with it for 2 days.

So.. if only it was as acceptable to scratch a nipple in public as it is to scratch an arm or a leg, I'd have had immediate relief. I couldn't even have done it in the washroom, because the sighs and moans I couldn't help but let out would have made the women just as turned on as the perverted men. I was taking a chance in doing it in my own house, it felt that good to finally relieve that itch.

I think the moral of the story is that if you have an itch, scratch it.. or risk being as offensive as I probably have been in this blogpost.

And that, ladies and gentlemen is why I am placed into the 13 - 17 age category.

Jules ;OP

UPDATE: I just went back to re-read my stats and they already up'ed my age to 18 - 25. Really? After this nipple post? I gained in age after talking about my nipples? Unreal! Haha!!

National Parks Visit No. ?

2011-10-23T18:22:00.006-07:00

This is my favorite time of year in the mountains. The air is crisp and fresh, the fall colors are still vibrant, and the forests and mountains are dusted with fresh brand new white snow. It's as if someone took a giant sifter of icing sugar and coated the world around us. This photo is of Olive Lake in the Kootenay National Park, just outside 10 minutes or so from Radium Hot Springs. I've taken pics of it before, but never with it's first snow. It was breathtaking.

The snow increased in volume as I drove towards Banff National Park, the heaviest of it falling Saturday and into the night and was thickest right up at the border between BC and Alberta. Thankfully, the roads had been plowed and/or the salt they sprayed down did its job well. The scenery was more and more beautiful the closer I got to Banff today, simply because the skies opened up and the sun highlighted the bright white footprints of the storm the day before.

This really is the best time to go there, because you don't have to worry about road conditions and you can enjoy the hot springs more with the chilly air above and steam rising, and the snow just accentuates the lines and curves of each of the layers of rock way up high on the mountain tops. It was a wonderful weekend getaway with Thor, perfect all around.

Jules :O)

Notable purchase

2011-10-20T20:47:00.002-07:00

It's totally worthwhile spending the extra money and buying the more expensive wiper blades for your car/truck. And nowadays they come with build in Rain-X protection which is a rockin' good product for fighting rain, frost and light snow. It rained today and I tried them out for the first time and they're amazingly smooth and quiet and repellent.

Love them!

Get some.

Jules :O)

Ehem.. your input please

2011-10-19T20:35:00.004-07:00

I don't know what to be for Halloween this year. Should I go all out and do a full on costume? Or should I just decorate myself up a little bit for the pleasure of the people who come to my door as I hand out candy? Most years as of late I've been quite into it. Well, since the birth of my child.. but I'm not sure about this year. I don't get to go out and have a good time at a party or anything.

I'm totally torn. Dress up, or be ordinary. Or do something clever like dress all in black and be my own shadow... nobody would guess what I am.. a subtle costume. Ahh heck. What's the point in that? I guess it's go all out or just don't do it at all. Hmm.

Tell me what I should dress up as.

Jules :O?

enough is enough already.

2011-10-18T15:18:00.003-07:00

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I HAVE TO HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME AT ALL TIMES!!!!

Why can't I just be like the majority of people who are healthy. I look after myself, I eat relatively well, I am active and have lost nearly 40 pounds.. that's got to do my health some good... yet I just keep finding new things wrong with me.

I really feel like I can't take much more of this. Lately I dread waking up because I can't stand the thought of finding something else wrong with me when I look in the mirror at the start of the day.

Universe... please grant me a healthy and fit body. Or even just a healthy body. I'd take that.

:'O(

Jules

I totally dig this tune.

2011-10-17T18:57:00.006-07:00

Ohhhh some songs I just LOVE when I hear them.. this is one, heard it on the radio tonight. I can not help but crank the volume and sing sing sing! I really like Tracy Chapman (what few songs I do know), but I love this song: Gimmie One Reason. It's just a forgotten goody.. with a great sounding voice and I love the guitars too.

Jules :Oj

some cheeses are evil

2011-10-16T19:15:00.002-07:00

There's good cheese, then there's bad cheese.

I tend to be on the "love cheese but shouldn't eat it too often" side of life. I like most cheeses, but there's one that stands out as my favorite, and one that's 100% intolerable for me.

It seems to be a matter of cow's milk versus goat's milk.

My favorite go to cheese is the standard medium or old aged cheddar, but if I'm spoiling myself, I love a flavored Havarti. Doesn't matter what flavor, really. I'm currently enjoying a jalapeno havarti that hits the spot when I'm craving a nice smooth and satisfying snack. Dill havarti is so nice on a sandwich. Give me havarti or cheddar anytime, really. Oh and I haven't met a cream cheese I haven't liked yet either.

Swiss took me a little while to warm up to and so did feta, but now I quite enjoy swiss. There's still some feta that tastes really off to me, and I can't eat it. I've just recently learned that some feta is made from cow's milk and some is made from sheep or goat milk, which explains my like of it sometimes but not others.

Blue cheese is another that I can handle sometimes, but not others. It is made from either milk as well.. sometimes a mixture of both milks. So that one I can tolerate in little bits.

Parmesan is something I can take only in small amounts as well, but I have no idea what milk it's made from, as I don't have any in my fridge currently for reference, and it doesn't list it on this website. I suspect it's cow milk based.

Now. The grossest of all gross cheeses by FAR to my palate is Goat cheese. It starts off OK for about the first 2 seconds, but veeeery quickly turns into the equivalent of disgusting dirty goat fart with a hint of barnyard fecal mud in the back of my throat and it's something that just lingers forever. It literally just makes me gag and I can't stop with the sour gas face that it makes me do. To me, goat cheese just tastes like I imagine shit would. Give me any cheese made with goat milk and watch my face contort into something unrecognizable until I've had enough of something equally strong in flavor to combat the horridness of it (like 2 or 3 glasses of wine). I really just can't handle the stuff. It's too bad too, because restaurants are using goat cheese in more and more of their recipes so it really is a limiting factor when eating out.

It would appear that I should try Asiago cheese. It sounds like it's the only cheese that can be considered "healthy" and is actually recommended to be eaten regularly. Tomorrow, I have to go to the grocery store. I'll pick some up and pair it with some Triscuit crackers and if I remember, I'll let you know how I made out with that.

I know I've not listed them all. There's Brie and Mascarpone.. and probably several others that I don't even know exist. Enlighten me, if you'd like. I don't need to know the origins of cheese, but if it's cow milk based and you think I should try it, do tell.

What's your favorite cheese?

scratch me.

2011-10-14T21:57:00.004-07:00

On October 1st in facebook I wrote:

"I just got a paper cut from a $5 bill. I'll probably die now, money is the filthiest thing ever. If I'm gona die at the hand of money, it could at least have been a bigger bill."

Since then I have began to have itchy skin... coincidence? I think not. I should start ordering my coffin, write my obituary and plan the memorial service now to save my family the frustration. I'm a goner.

Could be just all the effing dust in the air from harvest season, or the dryness of the Autumnal weather with winter approaching too though.

I'm thinking of doing a sign up sheet for volunteer scratchers. There are some places that are hard to reach that I need help scratching. You know, like that one spot in the middle of my back that you just can't ever get? Anyone want to help a girl out?

Jules :O?

Look and ye shall find.

2011-10-13T19:00:00.005-07:00

My boyf bought a really awesome vintage travel trailer.. a 15' - 1968 Aristocrat, recently, after months and months of tirelessly looking for just the right one. We took it out for the day when I was down in Washington and tried it all out. It's really light, bright and clean inside and has this rockin' view when you pull the curtains back and you can see out 3 sides. There's really very little to fix up inside too.. for its age it's in such great condition. But the best part of the whole thing is when he said "...our trailer... this will always be OUR trailer."

Some things are things you never forget.

I totally can't wait to have more fun in it! It's not the same trailer as the one we camped in when I was a kid with my dad, but it still reminds me of that one, a lot, and we had so much fun with that thing.

Jules :O)

my thanksgiving weekend

2011-10-11T13:17:00.005-07:00

I went to Washington State this past weekend because it appeared to me that my family wasn't planning anything special for Thanksgiving, and my son was spending time at his Dad's and I didn't want to be alone.. and of course, my wonderful boyf lives there and asked if I wanted to come down. So I did. I had a fantastic time there. I got to see more of the city he lives in, and we hung out with some of his friends, enjoyed taking the camper out for the first time since he bought it, went for a short bike ride, and did a little bit of shopping. The best parts of the weekend were realizing that his feet subconsciously search out mine when we're sleeping just the same as mine do to his, having someone to be casual around with who admires a *good view* when he sees one, hearing/dancing to some really beautiful music, laughing so hard I almost fell off the couch on several occasions, feeling so in love and receiving that feeling back. Actually, there are countless moments that were favorites. Things that were said and done that struck me so wonderfully. They'll remain in my heart always... but some things aren't meant to be put on a blog.

Pic of the lake we took the travel trailer to for the afternoon.

The worst parts about the trip were the stressful drive down there and then having to leave to go home. They really shook me down at the border on the way down there, which they never have done before when I enter through Montana. Plus, the American side of the trip was done at night and it was pitch black with deer wandering around all over the place. That really sucked. I was vibrating, I was so wound up by the time I arrived there. It passed quickly enough though. The drive home was pleasant and in the daylight. Leaving was awful. As many times as we've had to part, it never gets any easier for me. This time I managed to hold off the tears until I'd crossed the border again and was in Cranbrook, BC.

One of the bridges with some funky rock stuff in the background (technical description). I thought it was cool how even the smallest creeks have bridge covers on them down around the border. The colors of Fall were stunning the whole way down there.

I long for and wish for the day when there is no more parting of ways. Until then, I'll just take it as I can get it and continue to cherish this wonderful thing that has happened in my life.

Jules :Oj

Happy Happy

2011-10-10T06:12:00.000-07:00

Happy Thanksgiving to all of my fellow Canadian bloggers!

Short, simple and sweetly put.. I am thankful for all my loved ones. That includes my blogger friends!

Bless you and be well.

Jules :O)

Fun times with a lid

2011-10-07T10:08:00.003-07:00

Every time I take a drink from the coffee cup that McDonalds gives you, I feel like I'm making out with the lid. It totally (more so than any other lids) looks like a face to me. It takes all of my will power to resist the temptation to... how do I say this without sounding perverted or insane... I must always resist the urge to tongue the hole.

Nope. That still sounded sick.

Enjoy a McDonald's coffee today!

Jules :O)

flowers

2011-10-04T19:41:00.002-07:00

It's really nice to be loved.

And whatever the reason, it's so wonderful to receive flowers! I must be really loved this week, because I got flowers from my girlfriend earlier in the week and today I was given this gorgeous bouquet from Thor. These roses are so beautifully fragrant, I can smell them all over the kitchen and living room.

Thank you for loving me.

Jules :*

I need to learn limits.

2011-10-03T13:04:00.006-07:00

Something I learned today is that I really don't need two XL black coffee's from Tims. I feel too buzzy. Like a majorly hyper brain that my body can't really keep up with. I need to tone down the coffee drinking, methinks. Plus.. you know something's wrong with me when I use the word "methinks". That's corny pirate talk. And it's not pirate-day. That was a month ago. Arrrrr...

If you're on a caffeine high, does eating something help, like when you're drunk?

Why is caffeine spelled like that? It's supposed to be "i after e except after c". There's no except after f in that statement. Silly English language.

25 minutes before I have to start my afternoon pick up kids routine. Hmm. Just enough time to go stand in line for a coffee at Tims.

I saw this van at Tims the other month. So you're driving along and you hear this strange metal-scraping-pavement sound and you just think it's ok to go driving around like that, can't be your own vehicle, afterall... it's gotta be someone else's beater making that racket?! Could you imagine?! Sparks flying off the back of your vehicle... traffic swerving to get out of your way in case they have to dodge the bullet if it falls off completely... ?? Really? Get a piece of wire and sew that puppy back on, man. Heck, even duck (duct) tape will do....

I had to fix the name of the tape, due to Grunty being a wise ass. ;P

Jules ;O)

Life... and I can't translate the rest.

2011-09-30T23:04:00.003-07:00

Tonight I finally got to watch the much anticipated "Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara" (all you have to do is click the link and look at the poster to know why it was so eagerly anticipated by me... yes, I am that shallow sometimes).

I'm not a Bollywood movie critic by trade, but I really liked this movie. It was fun, romantic, serious, energetic, had good music, made me smile and laugh quite a bit and made me think a little bit about letting go of things and enjoying life a bit more, as well as forgiving from the heart. I like it when I come away from a movie thinking about a lesson it may have taught me. The bonuses of this movie were the fact that there was a Deol brother who was actually nice to look at, Farhan was totally sexy and adorable at the same time and Hrithik's character, while it drove me crazy at first eventually gave way to that fun loving soft gorgeous and charming individual I love to see him play. Plus, he french kissed Katrina in the movie, so that was a thrill (it's Bollywood we're talking about.. that IS a thrill).

It was totally worth the 3 hours to watch it (well, it might have been slightly less than that, but I do admit to rewinding a certain "lovely" scene or two a few times so that probably added another 10 minutes to the overall length. What?!?! Hrithik french kissing. Need I say more?

Seriously, if you're a bit tired of the same plots and same actors and same type of movie and you're looking for something new that will be a feast for the eyes and the emotions, give a GOOD Bollywood movie a try. Not all of them are good. But this one was fun and I'd recommend it.

Jules :O)

I just like saying ass sometimes.

2011-09-30T16:56:00.003-07:00

I worked my ass off at my sister's house doing Zumba today... but for some reason, I still have too much ass. I thought I'd worked it right off, but then I looked in the mirror and there it still was. I mean, don't get me wrong, I believe women should have some curves, but I don't believe I need this much ass. I really could stand to lose some more of it. How many more mamba's and salsa's and other such latin dances do I have to do before I'm happy with the amount of ass loss I've had?Unfortunately I did Zumba for like 6 months straight almost daily and still ended up having this ass. Not to mention all the other exercise I did for the 6 months prior to that and through the summer. Hmm. Maybe I could hypnotize my ass away? Or at least hypnotize myself to think my ass was smaller.

Jules :O?

accurate horoscope

2011-09-28T18:05:00.002-07:00

Cancer

June 22 - July 22

You're often preoccupied by other people's lives. Your devotion to others will be appreciated today, Cancer. For example, in the family circle, you may have to bandage everyone's little physical or psychological wounds. Don't neglect your energy needs. As you're aware, you need all the strength you can muster.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well that describes my life to a tee.

Jules :O0

Autumn at Abraham Lake in Alberta

2011-09-26T22:10:00.008-07:00

Thor came to visit on the weekend and it was a spectacular time. We visited Friday night and then Saturday we went for a bike ride followed by a trip to the mountains.. our favorite destination and the place that I think we both feel most "at home" in. Or certainly the most "at peace" in. Such a wonder, they are, standing tall and waiting to be admired and appreciated. Much like how I look toward Thor himself... standing tall and most adored.

Here's a nice view from on top of what's got to be the windiest place on earth. I think it's called Windy Point and it's so windy that it just about knocks you right over. I'd never let a small child stand there, they'd be carried away in an instant. Abraham Lake is a rich and vibrant turquoise lake by day and as the sun settles behind the mountains, it becomes a medium blue color, not quite as striking, but still beautiful. The mountains surrounding it stay beautiful regardless of the time of day. I'm actually up quite high here, looking down, it doesn't look like it in the pic though.

I zoomed in on a tree that is somehow able to survive that daily beating of insufferable winds. You can see how rough the water was in this photo. Not exactly fit for boating of any sort on a day as windy as this one was.

We drove around the lake until we found a good spot to hop out of the car and enjoy a picnic lunch (which became supper) after a short walk down to the water's edge. It was sheltered where we sat, just a few meters below the bright yellow birch tree amongst the boulders and rocky edge leading to the water.

The next day we hopped onto our bikes and toured Red Deer's trail system and different neighborhoods. I'm not sure how far we traveled, but we were out for over 3 hours, with just one real break to eat lunch, and a few tiny stops else wise. It was an incredible joy showing Thor the city from this viewpoint and it was such a beautiful ride, as the Fall colors are in full show right now, making the air smell it's sweet and musty Autumnal scent. I should have taken this photo with his bike in the pic too, not sure why I didn't. Oh well. We got home mid afternoon, did some bike clean up and then relaxed the evening away to round out an amazing weekend together.

I consider myself very lucky to be able to share my life with Thor. He seems to make everything look brighter, smell better, taste yummier, feel warmer and sound cheerier. Life is just smoother and more satisfying when he's around.

Jules :O!

Ra.One coming in October!

2011-09-21T18:53:00.004-07:00

I really am getting SOOO excited to go and see this movie with my Sister in October! We have been eagerly anticipating it since finding out of its inception. **dreamy sigh**

Just one thing... Can some of my Indian friends tell me what a Chammak Challo is? I can guess from the picturization that it means something like "loved one" or "sweetheart", but I'd like to know it's real meaning. Thank God for subtitles cuz even though I've seen maybe a hundred + Bollywood movies, I still don't know Hindi very well. I think it's totally awesome how an English superstar such as Akon is the official singer for this song, although him not being Shah Rukh Khan's normal playback singer(s) will mean I have to overlook the usual voice to persona match. I love that there's beginning to be such a nice crossover between Indian film and American entertainment. :D

Jules :OD

Today's Quickie

2011-09-20T10:36:00.004-07:00

I just have one word for you today.

MANSCAPE.

Think about it. Research it if you need to. Do it.

The women in your life will be endlessly thankful and you'll get more action. That's a guarantee.

Jules :Oj

Hello?

2011-09-19T12:38:00.005-07:00

How come I have like 30+ hits to my blog daily, but I only have a core of about 3 people who comment?

Come on, let me know you're here. I promise not to bite... hard. But seriously, am I intimidating? Am I just not comment worthy.. boring? What topics should I write about to make you comment. You're just a puzzle.

I'm gonna go eat some cold KFC and ponder.

Jules :O)

Fritz

2011-09-16T08:41:00.005-07:00

Things on the fritz around here lately:

Battery for my laptop (so I have to keep it plugged in and deal with the constant blinking orange light).

My hot water tank (so I have to pay a guy $90 an hour to come look at and fix it).

My left foot cuz I slit the bottom of it open last night (so I'm hobbling around with it bandaged up and had to miss lunch duty at Thanan's school today).

My orchids, which once were in full bloom with 15 blossoms and are now only showing off 6 with one about to die (so I have learned that I don't know how to care for orchids, or else my house is too cold and not humid enough).

My attitude. But that's only half on the fritz, so it's ok for now.

Jules :O/

Ok, fine. A clean post for you.

2011-09-14T20:47:00.007-07:00

I think this photo is worthwhile. I didn't snap many pictures this time in Radium. It's not that I find it boring, I was just distracted by a different sort of view the whole time that I couldn't take my eyes off of. But this view, we found at the end of a hiking trail, near a lookout point that overlooks the whole town of Radium. Off in the distance, just layers and layers of mountains. I thought they looked cool in their nondescript shades of blueish-grey.

On a different subject. I was talking to my son about 911 tonight and we were having this really grown up conversation about when to call 911. Well, I thought it was really quite grown up, until he suggested he'd use their service for this: "You know when like, at Christmas time, when you just get a brand new toy and then you either lose it or it breaks? I'd call 911 for that cuz that's an emergency... you know... like wellllll, for a kid it's an emergency" as he shoots me this really comically thoughtful grin.

Bless his little thought process. I guess I'll have to keep the phone away from him until I can drill the list of acceptable emergencies into his brain... if there's near death, excessive blood, guns going off, robbery, fire, etc. Toys don't really count. Oh to be young and innocent again, even if just for a day.

Brings a song to mind. Sean Kingston's "Fire Burning". It was the first song that really made me wonder what the hell a "Shawty" was and whether I was one or not. LOL Ya. I feel old.

Jules :Oj

so what, I speak my mind.

2011-09-12T20:55:00.003-07:00

OMG. I found myself on this website tonight because I had to re-order a product that I enjoy immensely, and happened upon a toy called "chocolate thriller". Makes me want to host a party of my own and see what hostess gifts I can get. Chocolate Thriller?! For pete's sake. I'd probably never leave my bedroom.

Speaking of my bedroom.. s'cuse me. I've got business to attend to.

Jules :Obuzzz)

Not moving. But not upset about it either.

2011-09-12T16:51:00.003-07:00

The good news is that I got the job at Thanan's school, so starting tomorrow I will be lunchroom supervisor in a grade 2 class. I'm looking forward to it. :)

Bad news.. sort of... is that I am not moving. My house is only appraised at $340,000. I would have needed at least $350,000 for it. Fucking economy. Oh well. I have some pretty rocking plans for finishing off/upgrading this place that will build more equity. I want to replace the counter tops in the kitchen and bathroom, they don't seem to match and I've never liked them. I need to tear the carpet out of the upstairs hallway and install the same lino that's already in the house. I want to build a built-in desk with columns downstairs and also a built in tv entertainment unit. Finally, finish off the trim and install 2 closet doors. So I'll use my new supervisor money to save up for home renos, do all of that and maybe after that I'll have my house up in the price range I'd like it to be. And maybe there will be another perfect house to buy. I was thinking that maybe close isn't the only option. I could move to a neighborhood where he has to take the bus, then I wouldn't have certain "drop off and pick up" issues that I'm faced with now. Hmm. Food for thought.

Speaking of food, my pizza just arrived and the guys are going crazy with hunger. Gotta go.

Jules :O)

Will I be moving?

2011-09-08T18:48:00.003-07:00

I had a realtor over today to appraise my house. I need it to sell for at LEAST $350,000 and I need the people who's house I'd love to buy to go as low as $365,000 in order for me to be able to do the deal. Soooo.. I'm doubtful that it will happen. But... tomorrow the appraisal will come back with a complete profile and comparables, etc and I'll know whether I'm destined to stay in this place longer or take a leap of faith and try to shift. I wasn't really considering it, but when this house came to my attention very recently, and I noticed how exactly perfect it would be for us, I just couldn't resist looking into it. It's got an extra bedroom and bathroom, and my much saught after double front attached garage. It's in the perfect location for Thanan. It's got room to grow as a family, should my "dreams" ever come true. It really would be amazing. And even though it needs some fixing up here and there, it's in reasonably good shape and it's mostly just cosmetic things that need to be fixed, which is actually a good thing because I could improve it and add equity. So... wish me luck. Tomorrow I'll know whether it's something I can pursue or not.

Karma.. destiny... fate.... what have you got in store for me?

Also, I was thinking of becoming a lunchroom supervisor at Thanan's school. It's not a huge commitment, I'd have regular holidays off, will give me a few hundred a month extra and that would help with a slightly higher mortgage payment, should things work out that way, and I could be a bit of a presence in Thanan's day and help make sure he stays on track (or instill the fear of me finding out he's done something wrong thus preventing such things from occurring). LOL.

Jules :O)

my bike ride today

2011-09-07T17:16:00.003-07:00

Today I went on a nice bike ride out to Canyon Ski Hill. I thought about going down to the bottom of the hill, but then I didn't think I'd make it back up, so I stayed at the top. I took a photo of the city from out there at the top vantage point, but it really doesn't show as much as I could see. It didn't take me as long as I thought it would to get out there, it's not as far as I thought it was. It was just about 20 kms to get out there and back, the route that I went. Maybe next time I'll attempt the actual road down to the ski chalet, though I think that would be easier to do on a mountain bike.

The way out was almost all an incline, so by the time I got to the top of that particular hill, my legs were super tired. I really need to practice climbing and strengthen my legs. But I did it without stopping, so I guess I get credit for that. I'm going to try and go out again tomorrow, different spot though. Wish me luck.

Jules :O)

Labor Day on Flathead Lake

2011-09-06T19:19:00.007-07:00

These are two of my favorite moments of my Labor Day long weekend. I took my son, whom I'll refer to as Thanan, down to Flathead Lake in Montana and spent time with Thor, his mom, sister and her boyf. We had a totally awesome time, or as my son said: It was "awesmazing" (cross between awesome and amazing).

I really can't express how in love with the whole weekend I was. Every aspect of it. Thor was the most positive influence Thanan's had as a male role model in a long time... possibly ever. He was so gentle and kind and patient with him, always teaching, coaching, laughing with, listening to, protecting and expressing love. I had to choke back my emotions and stop the sensation of being overwhelmed by how perfectly they fit together on countless occasions. Thor took us to do all the funtastic lake things. In these pics, we've climbed way up on top of Wildhorse Island to our favorite lookout point and enjoyed the 360 degree view and a snack together.

Thanan was really complaining about having to do the climb that Thor and I have done several times before. For a little guy like him, climbing a small mountain is a big feat, and for some reason, the little cacti up there kept finding ways to stick him but not us. So that troubled his little self too. But once we were at the top, he raved about how proud he was that he climbed waaay up there.

We also went motor boating, fishing and sailing. We played soccer and had fun with Thanan's remote control car. We sat by the fire at night and had marshmallows while cuddling and visiting. We all ate together, and we crashed hard at night from a long day of serious play. We visited the wonderful neighbors, and I marvelled at how beautiful the moments all were.

I guess I'll include a highlight that happened on the way down to the lake on Friday. Just before East Glacier, near Two Medicines I happened to be one of the 6 cars to stop and spot this pair of giant grizzly bears!! They were fishing and eating something on their side of the river bank. I stayed FAR away and digitally zoomed in. Excuse the quality of the photos, but I wasn't about to make myself or Thanan their lunch by getting too close. Grizzlies!! Can you believe it?

I saw a bald eagle, and some young bighorn sheep as well on the trip, but the bears took the cake. I've seen black bears down there before, but never one of these deadly creatures.

I was really touched by everyone and everything. This was actually my first time taking Thanan out of the country and aside from day trips around Alberta, it was my first "go somewhere" vacation with him. I loved the just Thanan and I moments, but I loved the "Flathead Lake Family" moments the most.

Now I'll have to be careful not to dream too big of dreams........

Jules :Oj

the business of cards

2011-09-03T17:17:00.000-07:00

How long do you hold on to things for? Are you a hoarder?

I was just trying to tidy up my place and realized that I have birthday cards and anniversary cards and even a few Christmas cards from many past years. I'm not sure why I've kept them though. I mean, I'm as sentimental as the next person, but some of them are from people that I don't even talk to anymore. People that I haven't seen or heard from probably since I last received that card from them. Yet I haven't thrown them away.

I think I need to let them go and just de-clutter. It's not like they're all associated with happy times and fond memories.

How long is the "proper" amount of time to keep a card? Do people get insulted if you've decided to throw it out after a while or are you supposed to just keep cards forever?

Jules :O?

feet

2011-09-02T19:10:00.000-07:00

I wish I had a spa treatment gift certificate. I'd like to get a full on pedicure done.. you know, really treat my feet to some nice warm parafin wax, a good solid rub down, trimming, waxing, polishing, sanding.. err.. pumicing.

I think feet are under appreciated for all they do for us. They just get totally abused all day long. Walked on, run on, toes get stubbed, things get dropped on them, they hardly ever receive lotion or massages and they almost never get adored. Some people forget to trim their toenails and really don't take good care of their feet, and end up getting foot fungi. It's really a shame.

I think the feet are the most abused and least appreciated part of the body.

... besides the asshole. That probably trumps the feet.

Let me just say thank you, feet. I adore you. You haven't let me down yet.

Jules :O)

Toast with me!

2011-08-29T15:19:00.000-07:00

Well, I've officially been a black coffee drinker for a week today. Is there an anniversary celebration for that event? Is somebody going to throw me a party? I deserve it, I think. Somebody could at least buy me a coffee!

Yesterday I discovered something. Flavored black coffee. It was a large medium-light roasted Caramello from Second Cup. Having had nothing but black Tim Horton's coffee thus far, this seemed like a deliciously sweet blend of black coffee. I loved the aroma of it and each swallow left a pleasant coffee-caramel aftertaste. Call me a happy camper!! I've never been a Second Cup fan, really, but I'd totally go back there for that blend again.

Now. I have to share this with you too. At Tim Hortons, their special promise to us, the customers, is that there's never a pot of coffee that's more than 20 minutes old. However, their signs promoting that promise don't reflect that. If they open say at 7am, and put a fresh pot of coffee on at 20 minute intervals that should mean that the white pencil thing that they do on each pot should only ever be in increments of 20 minutes, technically speaking. So every coffee pot is started at 7am, then switched at 7:20, 7:40, 8:00, 8:20, 8:40, 9:00, 9:20, 9:40... etc. See the pic below? Understand my cause for concern? I demand to know who's not making the coffee on time and why did they chose to use that coffee pot model as the one for their ad campaign if they wanted to gain the trust of their customers? I only thought I'd mention it because I'm not entirely sure this is truthful based on a cup of super bitter and old tasting coffee that my lips came across on Saturday from there.

(photo courtesy and copyright of Tim Horton's Canada)

Okkkkk.. so I understand how it happens to land on an odd time. Literally thousands of people flock to Tim Hortons every day and for great reason, so undoubtedly a single pot of coffee doesn't last for more than 5 minutes in that chain, plus you have to add in the minute or two that it takes to clean the old coffee grounds out and put new stuff in to brew. So if that's the case, new pots are being started at odd increments throughout the day. But really.. on first glance, you get the mismatch, right? Orrrr... did I just put too much thought into a sign design?

Jules :Oahhhh..

What's in a title, anyway?!

2011-08-28T20:43:00.003-07:00

Oh my goodness. Help me out with this one.

At what age do you stop being called "Miss" and start being called "Ma'am"?

Because all of a sudden i've been crossed off the "Miss" list and etched into stone on the "Ma'am" list and this is doing nothing positive for my self esteem. I thought I still looked young enough to be a "Miss".

Is it determined by how young you look? Or the vocabulary you use, or how mature you act? Is is a maturity/age thing at all? Or is it just what people have been taught to say in certain situations?

For example, the bag boy at the grocery store.. maybe he's been coached specifically to say "Sir and Ma'am" to the customers and can't use the title "Miss" at all. If that's the case, maybe I don't need to freak out. However, if they take a look at me and just think "She's obviously past her prime, I'll call her Ma'am.. I mean look at her, she's pretty much a borderline "cougar", then I have to say that just sucks crusty pucker. I mean, it wasn't all THAT long ago that I got ID'd in the liquor store.

I know I can't stay young forever, and I enjoy my "maturity". i think I get prettier as I grow up (or maybe I just have better hair). I've always felt like I was at least 10 years older than I really am (or more) and I tend to make the best of friends with people older than myself. But really... can't I be called "Miss" for a little while longer?

Jules :OX

black is my new tan.

2011-08-24T15:20:00.004-07:00

I'm officially making the switch to black coffee. I've been having a bit of a sugar overload again, largely due to the fact that just about every day I have an XL or L French Vanilla from Tim's. **GASP** Don't calculate the cost of that per month. I said DON'T. ;P So this morning I had it just black and what to you know.. I apparently have developed an appreciation for black coffee, thanks to Thor. He's been training me. LOL This will be much cheaper too and I do have a coffee maker, so I might even venture into making my own here in the morning sometime.

Other news.. I went on a bike ride again today. I did almost 48 kms in 2 hours and my average speed was 23 km/h. I did take some photos, but I think you're probably tired of seeing pics associated with me and my bike, so I'll lay off that for a day or two. Tomorrow I'll go again.. maybe for even longer, though I will pack more to eat than I did today because come 2pm I was bonking, just returned home at 1:45 or so.

My son's been in soccer camp all week so far. I put him in it so that (truthfully) I could get used to being without him all day. I do thing it's important for him to have that sort of adjustment period and get used to listening to rules and be on a schedule before he starts grade 1 on the 1st, but it was for me to get over the separation anxiety too. Monday I was lost. The bike ride that day helped. Tuesday I was a bit easier. Today rocked and so will the rest of the week. I didn't realize how calm and serene doing errands could be, and how fast I can accomplish things with no-one else with me.

Jules :O)

today's ride

2011-08-23T12:46:00.005-07:00

Hope you don't get bored of seeing pics of my bike trips, cuz I'm excited about this new sport (for me) and it makes me feel good when I go out. So today I went out of south east RD, up a highway... I really should look on a map and see what the name of that highway is, but I don't want to right now, plus I should have some sort of anonymity I suppose. Anyway, I cycled 16 kms just about, and it took me 50mins. The ride out was almost all a gentle incline, so it was more difficult but not hard by any means. The ride back was therefore faster and more fun. My house is somewhere in about the middle of that photo, waaay off in the distance sort of a ways behind that telephone pole.

This farmer's field not far off my final destination (turn around point) was really pretty. The camera took a dark photo of it and I don't have time to lighten it, but really, it was nice to look at and it smelled great. There was just enough cloud cover so that I didn't get too hot as well.

This is me at the turn around point. It's just outside a bunch of houses that exist on top and around that hill in the above photo. I glanced at the sign, but right now I can't remember it.

Here's what my Endomondo App said I did today. I have to attempt to find my exercise watch so I know how many calories I'm burning each time. I went 3km/h faster on average than yesterday's ride.

Jules :O)

accomplishment

2011-08-22T19:14:00.002-07:00

From where I live, I took off at 1:10 and arrived at Discovery Canyon in the Riverbend Recreation Area by 1:45. I then said to myself... "self.. do you want to go down that hill and have to climb back up it again?" And my self replied "it looks fun... yes, yes I do!" So down the hill I went. But not having been faced with a hill this size since having Breezy, my Schwinn, I decided to play it a bit safe and gently pump the brakes from time to time. Still, I was going super fast, as it's actually quite a large hill (you can't see the bottom in this photo).

So I arrived here... and then went back up that hill above... and then back home. There's really only one other little hill along the way which dwarfs in comparison to this one. The rest is fairly flat with only slight inclines and declines.

So altogether, my Endomondo app said it was 21 kms (13 miles) and it took me 1 hour and 17 minutes. I'm proud of myself for climbing that hill on two wheels, and for doing it without having a heart attack. I realize that for serious (or even mediocre) bikers this is hardly an accomplishment, but seeing as how I've only had Breezy since July, have only been out on her a dozen times, and that the last bike I owned was in high school, I think today was awesome. Tomorrow I've got a different course in mind and plan to bike for 2 hours, as long as the weather's suitable.

I really must thank Thor again for giving me Breezy and for equipping me with new tires recently as well. I think I'll really enjoy her. :*

Jules :Oyay!

random

2011-08-21T20:45:00.003-07:00

Some randomness for you.

Tell me what your first impression of this photo is (without reading the words on it).

Cuz to me it looked like a silver ass imprint. And when I think of an ass imprint being on my kitchen counter or stove top, it doesn't evoke appetite. Hey wait! Maybe I just stumbled upon the newest diet aid!! Of course there's the other side of this. I could imagine the ass imprint was caused by a hot lustful night with my lover in the kitchen. In which case it might make me more hungry. Either way, I wish my own ass imprint was shapely like that one is.

Moving on. Am I just obsessed with cereal or does your pantry shelf resemble mine? The scary part is that I just finished off 2 other kinds of cereal and so a day ago this shelf would have had 2 more varieties. I mean seriously... it takes up 3 feet of space. Is this really necessary?

Jules :O)

down

2011-08-20T20:14:00.003-07:00

Cancer

June 22 - July 22

If there is something you need to fight for, this is the time to do it, Cancer. For a while now you've been doing research on the best way to proceed. The time has come to take action. You have an extra boost of vitality, and your warrior instinct is strong. You feel like a volcano ready to expel boiling hot lava. Trust and follow your instincts.

...................................................................................................

This is true. I do feel like I'm going to explode and I do want to take action and fight for what I desire most.

But.

I'm afraid to. Afraid that I'll be rejected. And what good is taking action when you're afraid of the outcome? Well, it might end up being a good thing.. but it's an almost impossible thing to release the beast, so to speak. I don't think I've ever felt like this before. Every day seems like a struggle with this internal battle. Do I go for it and just hope I succeed? Or do I stay silent and hope things go where and when they need to? I don't know.

*tears on my pillow*

I hate being alone with my thoughts, sometimes.

Jules :'O(

making friends is good, right?

2011-08-18T21:33:00.004-07:00

I wonder if I should do a blogger buddies meet. I've been wondering it for quite a while. I think I first thought of the idea last year sometime, though I don't recall the actual time and date. I've known other bloggers who have gotten together at a local establishment because they've all lived reasonably close and had a great time just laughing and drinking and telling stories and some of them even created long lasting friendships from being able to do this. Perhaps what's stopping me from doing it is fear of going somewhere, waiting for my lurkers and/or commenters to show up and having nobody come join the party. That'd be embarrassing.. little ol' me, all alone sitting there waiting and then eventually just drowning my sorrows in Malibu and rum! I know there are quite a few people that read my blog from within Alberta... but I can't reveal my sources.. ;P Mwaahahahaha

It's still summer. The weather's pretty good, the roads are travel-able. Who's up for it? I'm not gonna do it unless people say they want to on here, or via contacting me some other way, so let me know!

Jules :O?

wee-ooo-wee-oooooo

2011-08-17T20:56:00.005-07:00

I think there should be some law against having commercials or songs with sirens playing on the radio. There's nothing worse than hearing that as you're driving along and feverishly trying to find out where the emergency vehicle is coming from, being unable to find it as your eyes dart as fast as they can in literally a 360, nearly mimicking the chick on the Exorcist, coming up blank and then just pulling over anyway because you can still hear it so you know it's got to be passing past you any second.

Ok, so I haven't actually pulled over.. normally I realize that it's on the radio before I get to that point, but there are certain songs or commercials that when they're new to the airwaves actually set me off like that.

Where is it? Whozzat? What's going on.. whoozzaa.. wherezit.. God Bless.. huh?

Oh. It's the radio.

Damn commercial.

...........................................................................

On a different note, I burned popcorn tonight and now despite the whole air freshener and windows being open thing, it's still all I can really smell. I wonder how long it will stick around for. I want to run my self cleaning oven deal tomorrow while I'm guaranteed to be out of the house for a few hours. It'll really stink up the place too. So I'm guessing that by September my house might smell decent again.

Crap. I forgot about my peppermint tea.

Jules :O)

a tree with a statement

2011-08-16T18:31:00.000-07:00

I recently went to Radium.. again. I'd love to retire in a place so beautiful such as Radium or the like. Somewhere in the Rocky Mountains.. preferably with a decent-ish weather system.. although being in the mountains, you have to deal with a bit of unpredictability.

Anyway, on a hike with Thor, we came across a Peace Park in the middle of the trail and this giant cedar tree with happy almost neon green moss was standing there loving life. So naturally, I took its picture.

Next time we go back, we'll do the whole trail. We didn't have time to go all the way to the top of the ridge and look down. Something tells me that I missed out on seeing something amazing up there, but time was too much of a consideration that day.

Jules :Owow

the gas factor is really inconsequential

2011-08-15T16:02:00.002-07:00

I put this on my facebook profile earlier, but it's a blog worthy thought too.

The only times I like living as a single person are when I don't feel like cooking, when I have gas, or when I feel too lazy to make myself look good (say, on a weekend morning).

So lets take a look at that statement.

In the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter whether I feel like cooking or not, it still has to be done cuz I'm responsible for more than just me here. So really, that's negated.

I don't really have gas all that often, and even if I did, it doesn't take much to walk out of the room and then back in (I'm not really all that comfortable with passing gas in front of people). And we really mustn't count burping in the passing of gas, because if kept to a dainty "pffffff-ahhh" it's totally acceptable. So we'll consider this a 5% of the time issue.

Weekends.. well I only really ever have the opportunity to stay in my jammies and not do my hair and makeup all day long like once a month, if that, and I think I could still do that with a man around the house if I really felt like it. They have to know women can't be beautiful 100% of the time.

So basically, this living alone thing could really quite easily go all to heck and I'd be okay with that. For the, what.. 10% of my life that I actually want to spend alone, I think I could still pull that off even with a guy around all the time. The gas thing might be a challenge, but like I said, I don't have to deal with that too much anyway.

Excuse me while I go get lost in my dreams for a little while.

Jules :Oj

The Raj

2011-08-12T21:22:00.004-07:00

4 days of intense labor with 2 people helping, having to cook for everyone, look after my 5 year old and make sure he doesn't get killed on the construction grounds, having to tend to my Autistic roomy, running errands, cleaning up after everyone... and it all leads to this grand accomplishment. My back yard garage that I've affectionately named "The Raj". We're almost done our part of the build. We are hiring out the rest, except we might attempt the siding later on, I'm not sure yet and we're installing the windows and man door. But roof sheeting and shingling, soffits/fascia/trim, the overhead door, eaves troughs and electrical will all be hired out. Thank God. What a loooong and exhausting 4 days. Every part of my body is aching, especially my wrist, that actually got hurt in the process, late in the day today. I'm sure it will look awful for a while, but hopefully it won't stay this sore for too long. anyway... here's what we accomplished. It's 20 x 22 and I am thankful to still have a substantial amount of back yard left to garden/play in.

Jules :O)

So You Think You Can Dance

2011-08-11T20:59:00.006-07:00

Another season of So You Think You Can Dance (US Version) has ended and man was it a great season! I wholeheartedly agreed with the final 4. Tadd, Marco, Sasha and Melanie. At the beginning of the finale, I was pretty certain it would be Sasha who took the top spot, but I was hoping it would be Marco.

I think what I love the most about watching dance are those moments when I am emotional enthralled by what I'm watching. Maybe it's the song, maybe it's just the artistry in motion.. maybe it's the dancer's abilities to pull me in and really make me FEEL what the story is all about. I don't know what I like the best, but I do know that I know what I like to watch and these top 4 were tremendous.

Out of all the dances this season, this one touched me the most. I thought everything about it was amazing. The movements, the story, the facial expressions, the uninhibited everything that the dancers gave to the routine. So so so good. Do yourself a favor and watch this video clip. It's short, but it's outstanding, about a relationship at a crossroads.

This one, I thought was awesome too, sexy and fun. It was about a woman who just couldn't take another day of the boring married blues and decided to spice things up a bit. Performed by finalist from this season, Sasha, with one of the all stars, Twitch! I love Twitch. I had a dream about him after I saw this the first time.

So the final results were:

Tadd took 4th place. I was sad for Tadd, but he was really great about accepting his place.

Marco was given 3rd place and I let out a very audible "Awwwww" because I wanted him to win, I loved him. I'll remember him saying this before leaving the stage: "Money is paper, contacts are paper.. [but] this.... is our life".

Sasha, my favorite woman of the season was sooo close with a 2nd place finish.

Finally, Melanie was crowned as America's Favorite Dancer for 2011 with 47% of the vote. Congrats to her.

Looking forward to next season!

Jules :OD

backyard visitor

2011-08-10T08:57:00.002-07:00

If it hadn't already captured 10 aphids, I'd probably have gotten rid of this creepy thing. But instead, I admired it's hunting ability and decided to take it's photo. I didn't realize it would be so hairy.

By the way, does anyone know if this kind of spider is poisonous?

Jules :Oewww.

2011-08-09T08:55:00.002-07:00

I used to believe that love was the one thing that could make anything happen. I'm not so sure lately that my belief system is correct.

Riots.

People holding onto hard feelings after years and years have gone by.

Love not being able to move mountains (the song lied).

War, hurt, starvation, global economic crisis, suffering.

..... these are things love can't diminish completely all on it's own.

**sigh**

Oink.

2011-08-08T21:20:00.002-07:00

I just ate two cupcakes (but I scraped off the icing).

Damn boredom, loneliness and a kind neighbor who wanted to thank me for looking after his dog.

Takes soooo long to take off the pounds, and they get put back on so easily.

Jules :O/

I love: LOVE

2011-08-07T23:37:00.006-07:00

I went to Banff today and found this petal laying in the sand exactly as you see it here. Amazing, no? Is there anything better than love? Really? Other than sex.. but you're not supposed to have sex without love, so really love wins there too.

Here are my footprints in all the pedal, sand and icy water bliss. Ahhh.. refreshing! It's always cool how it looks like it's in 3D when you do this type of pic, but really it's not.

Ok... and my feet too. Just because my toenails match what was going on there...

Jules :O)

boring update

2011-08-05T15:47:00.003-07:00

Went to the doctor. He referred me for an ultrasound that I'll be having done in the middle of the month this month. Here's my prediction... based on no scientific evidence, just a gut feeling (no pun intended). I think they'll find scar tissue from the ablation I had done a year ago and that since it's scarring, there's nothing they can do about it as trying to fix it would likely just create more scar tissue. So I'm destined to live this life with this new pain. But it's still better than the pain I used to suffer prior to the ablation, so far. The crappy news is the doctor that did the ablation is gone now and there's a new doctor in his place. The good news is that the new doctor is a woman and is just stepping in for a smooth transition, so I should be able to see her if necessary without too much hassle, being an existing patient.

Here's some totally unrelated news.

My mom is building a garage in my back yard to house my deceased step-dad's truck. I had to pay the cost of the permit and I get a garage. Seems like a good deal. It's causing me some stress though, and with this pain of mine, I'm not sure how much I'll be able to put my handy-woman abilities and extreme talents to use. I'll try. I've never built a garage before. I'd have been stupid to have said no though.. as it will increase the value of my property by about $20,000 and I'll have a fully finished back yard after it's done.. including fenced off completely providing me with better security and a place for my son to play, worry free. And since the truck will be stored here, I'm sure I'll be able to use it more often and more easily. I guess I'll park in it once in a while, maybe in the winter, too.

If anyone in my area wants to come help build a garage, do stop by! :) We're starting on Monday.

Jules :O/

Gettin my drink and my freak on.

2011-08-04T20:31:00.004-07:00

This is the kind of day I had... or rather the sort of days I've been having lately. How many nights can a girl cry herself to sleep? I'm not saying how many of these I plan to have, nor how fast I plan to drink them....nor whether or not I'll omit the hot chocolate part in near future. That's my little secret.

Whatever World. Whatever.

I have another thought. I'll post a video. I really am not in love with BS, because I find the tone of her voice to be annoying, but I really love this song. And sometimes I feel like really getting my freak on, as the song suggests. Ya. I can be freaky when the feeling hits me... as I recall a playful tent-capade recently. ;) "I Wanna Go" too, Britney.

I just don't understand the reference to the whole "Terminator" thing, and I really think that's some kind of "freaky" with the whole milk drenching enjoyment. Watch the video and you'll see.

Jules :Ofreakyj*

I'm still trippin'

2011-08-03T20:05:00.010-07:00

Inside Kootenay National Park again with Thor. These pics are actually in reverse order of how I took them, but I'm too lazy tonight to reverse them. So this first pic (last pic) was taken from Marble Canyon which turned out to be a really extreme gem. I'm happy I stopped there to collect myself after parting ways. It was just what I needed. It's in a Canyon that was ravaged by forest fire in 2003, and the extreme opposite between the burned bits and the new bits just makes my heart sing. To know that even from ashes arises something so beautiful is both reassuring and breathtaking. When I look at an area burned by forest fire, I don't see loss, I see survival.

I must be getting braver. This was the second spider on a daisy that attracted my attention..

Looking off towards the highway, you don't see the greys of the fire. All you see are these enormous mountains and a plethora of wildflowers. There were so many colors.. blue, purple, pink, red, orange, yellow, white, all the shades of green... a natural forest in bloom is really an amazing sight.

A happy (bug free) daisy basking in the glory of the warm sunlight.

Thor and I went on a 2 hour hike to Dog Lake in Kootenay Park. There was still little bits of snow on the peaks of the mountains in the background there, and Stanley Glacier isn't too far from this location, by car. The water seemed clear until we took a swim in it and stirred up the silty mud beneath the surface. I think I sank up to my knees. Still, it was fun to be a bit naughty.

A forest full of wonder. I wondered what would happen if Alice ate these mushrooms...

At the start of the hike (remember we're going in reverse order here) we passed over Kootenay River on this really fun bouncy bridge. I want to make love on that bridge at night. I think it'd be fun.. except for the danger of being eaten by a bear. I don't know why you can't see the mountains here, because they surrounded us 360 degrees. Just the wrong angle or the trees were too tall from this vantage point, I guess.

This was the first daisy I stopped to take a pic of this trip, and low and behold, it contained a spider. If you blow it up and look at the spider's body, it looks like an alien brain. Well it does to me. I really do think I'm becoming used to these little critters.. somewhat. If you know me at all, you'd highly praise my ability to even get this close to one.

Radium Hot Springs took up the remainder of our time this trip. It's so relaxing and entertaining to be immersed in the springs. It's especially perfect after a day of hiking on the park.

Jules :Oahh!

the pain game

2011-08-02T20:03:00.002-07:00

I've had some physical pain again lately. Hmm. Decision time. Do I go into the doctor and risk becoming a patient again? Or do I just ignore the pain and have a nice pleasant summer and maybe go in once the cold weather hits and I won't care about being locked up inside recovering from whatever they'll choose to put me through?

I think it's just some cramping as a side effect from the ablation I had done almost a year ago now. I don't think it's anything major and I don't really think anything can be done about it. But there's the off chance that it's something else, I suppose. How well do I know my body, I wonder.

I'm tired of being a patient. I just want to enjoy life.

What to do, what to do.

Jules :O?

Final Vacay Days - West Glacier National Park

2011-08-01T19:18:00.009-07:00

Okay, so it's back to the final days of my trip to the states. We left Flathead Lake early in the morning on day 7 and drove up to West Glacier National Park where we set up camp in the very beautiful Apgar Campround next to the Village of Apgar (click the links to see a live webcam). After setting up camp, we went for a bike ride to explore the campground and the village. We did some shopping and then decided to get our water-sporting on. Here's Thor at the edge of Lake McDonald. Those mountains in the distance are enormous and gorgeous. You can never quite capture the size of the mountains on camera... nor the impact they have when you see them live.

We spent the next 3 or 4 hours on the water, kayaking around. Near the edge of the lake it was glass calm, but unwise me, I decided to cut straight across the middle of it and found out I really should listen to Thor, LOL. A water-baby like him really knows the wind patterns and water surfaces. It was a bit tougher to paddle in the wind. One kayaker said he got stuck in the middle of the lake for about half an hour, paddling but getting nowhere. Mostly, our ride was incredibly calm and relaxing, a pure joy.

After supper we went for a bike ride down towards Avalanche Creek, but not nearly that far. Came across this really pretty little clearing with this little mountain spring waterfall. I totally love this photo.

The evening brought about some more general campsite fun as well as some peppermint schnapps. After the schnapps and the beer, I found the following pamphlet to be really hilarious. I mean come on.. I really had my heart set on grabbing some bear balls whilst in the park.

The next day we set off to hike on Logan Pass. We went there last year as well, but there wasn't nearly this amount of snow. It was hot though and there were just a couple of spots on the mountain we climbed that had little patches melted off. Here are some wildflowers on the little spot we chose to sit and eat lunch. The purple stuff is rock, the rocks there are amazing, so bright and colorful! Happy little flowers, hey? How could they not be, in that location!!

Thor set up his tripod and snapped 4 of these photos. This one was the best. It shows our elevation well. I loved everything about this day... and being up there. It was like the world belonged to us. No-one else was anywhere near there. It was peaceful and quiet and warm and smelled amazing. It really takes your breath away being in such a stunning location.

I didn't really see much wildlife this trip. This happy little goat was walking down the "Going To The Sun Road" on the wall barrier as we were leaving at the end of the day.

Back on the bikes, Thor snapped this pic of me on my bike "Breezy". We just went for a little ride around the area as the sun was setting. Thanks for taking such a nice photo of me, Thor (and for letting me post it and the mountaintop one)!

It was an amazing vacation, with the most wonderful and appreciative company! The next morning we had to pack up camp and head back home, we'd already made plans to get together 3 more times before summer was over. We've just gotten back from going to Radium Hot Springs again (our home away from home spot), and had another fantastic time. I'll post a few pics of that trip tomorrow or the next day.

Jules :O)

Window to the soul...

2011-07-27T20:53:00.007-07:00

So tonight I wanted to pretty myself up and take some photos. My confidence has been a little bit down lately.. probably just cuz I'm feeling *alone*. I liked what I saw in the camera tonight though. Liked it enough to show you.

Sooo.. are my eyes green?

Or are they brown?

Neither. Hazel.. they sometimes look green and sometimes look brown. I think I prefer them when they're green. I totally love the designs in my irises, whatever the color.

What do you think... what do my eyes say to you?

Jules :O)

Disturbia

2011-07-26T21:19:00.003-07:00

My son woke me up last night just an hour after I went to sleep at 12:35 and screamed "I need some milk!!" until I heard him and went and got him a shot of it. Then he stayed awake for 45 minutes in his room playing. I went in there 3 times to tell him to get back to sleep and pointed out that it was the middle of the night. Exhausted, I stammered back to my room and crashed hard after 1:20 until the effity-effing thunderstorm woke me up. I shot up in bed hearing myself say "Ok, OK ALREADY, I'll go do it!!!" and wandered half naked and mostly still asleep to unplug my computer and set my alarm on my phone in case the power went out. I'm guessing that all took me about 10 minutes from start to finish, and then the thunder kept me awake for another 20.

What a horribly disturbed sleep, and I was so out of it today to show for it. Good thing I was left with a dream about well.. sucking on things that I find fun to suck on.. when I woke up or I'd have been really angry today.

Jules :Ough!